1 . We often think about relationships on a scale from positive to negative. We are drawn to loving family members, caring classmates and supportive mentors. We do our best to avoid the cruel uncle, the playground bully and the jerk boss.
But the most harmful relationships aren’t the purely negative ones. They’re the ones that are a mix of positive and negative. We often call them frenemies, supposed friends who sometimes help you and sometimes hurt you. But it’s not just friends. It’s the in-laws who volunteer to watch your kids but devalue your parenting. The manager who praises your work but denies you a promotion.
Groundbreaking research led by the psychologists Bert Uchino and Julianne Holt-Lunstad shows that ambivalent (矛盾情绪的) relationships can be damaging to your health — even more than purely negative relationships.
Even a single ambivalent interaction can cause harm. In one experiment, people talked about controversial (具有争议性的) topics in front of a friend who offered feedback. The researchers had randomly assigned the friend to give ambivalent or negative comments. Receiving mixed feedback caused higher blood pressure than pure criticism. “I would have gone about the topic differently, but you’re doing fine” proved to be more distressing than “I totally disagree with everything you’ve said.”
The evidence that ambivalent relationships can be bad for us is obvious, but the reasons can be harder to read — just like the relationships themselves.
One reason is that ambivalent relationships are unpredictable. With a clear enemy, you put up a shield when you cross paths. With a frenemy, you never know whether Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde is going to show up. Feeling unsure can break the body’s calming system and activate a fight-or-flight response. It’s unsettling to hope for a hug while also preparing for a likely quarrel.
Another factor is that unpleasant interactions are more painful in an ambivalent relationship. It’s more distressing to be let down by people you like sometimes than by people you dislike all the time. When someone stabs you in the back, it stings more if he’s been friendly to your face.
1. Which of the following can be considered as a frenemy?A.Your neighbor’s kid who advises you to study hard but kill his own time. |
B.Your classmate who admires your hard work at first, but doubts your intelligence later. |
C.Your mother’s friend who encourages you to spend more time on homework but less on smart phones. |
D.Your father’s colleague who proposes you to do a reasonable amount of homework while ensuring enough sleep. |
A.Upsetting. | B.Satisfying. | C.Inspiring. | D.Confusing. |
A.The negative impact of ambivalent interactions is strong. |
B.Ambivalent relationships have a long-lasting effect on your well-being. |
C.The common cause of high blood pressure is ambivalent relationship. |
D.Interactions in ambivalent relationships are more painful than those in negative ones. |
A.Negative relationships are bad for health. | B.Ambivalent relationships are unpredictable. |
C.Ambivalent Relationships are the most harmful. | D.Positive relationships are better than negative ones. |
2 . Life doesn’t always seem fair. Some people are just born with the ability to attract anyone they meet easily. Well, it might seem like a magical power, but actually there are various factors at work.
But first, the bad news. People initially judge each other based purely on physical appearance With just a glimpse of a face, people make snap judgments about each other’s likeability, trustworthiness and confidence. How should we deal with this?
What other tricks might we have?
So we’ve looked at body language, but of course what you say is hugely important too, unless you want to just stand there grinning foolishly. The golden rule of friendship is if you make people feel good about themselves, they’re going to like you. In other words, you should not talk about yourself and all your wonderful achievements.
Finally, finding common ground is good to form a connection. Charming people are particularly skilled at seeking out shared interests or experiences to bond with others. Simple things like asking where someone’s from really can open up a discussion and allow you to find areas in common. And if all else fails, you can fall back on that most British of topics: the weather.
A.It can break the ice. |
B.So, can you develop exceptional charm? |
C.There’s one incredibly basic tool: your smile. |
D.Alternatively, you need to display interest in them. |
E.What effective strategies can we employ to become charming? |
F.Our brains frequently scan the surroundings for signs of friend or enemy. |
G.Mutual interests are the foundation for building connections with others. |
3 . “Individuals of all ages who have empathy (共情) understand that sometimes telling little white lies can protect other people from getting hurt,” says Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist in Connecticut. “Most people that I have come across tell these little white lies because they understand that 100 percent honesty all the time is not beneficial.” A white lie, she explains, spares people from unnecessary hurt.
At the same time, Dr. Julia Breur, a marriage and family therapist in Florida, emphasizes the importance of paying attention to the way we respond to someone. The fact is that not telling the truth can result in something unpleasant on you; it’s not just about the person the white lie is being told to. For example, she says someone who always tells others that “all is good” when it comes to a sick parent in an effort to avoid discussions about how serious their health issue really is, can eventually face stressful experiences. When that parent eventually passes away, the person who always gave an “all is good” response ends up emotionally broken.
Sometimes, telling white lies often depends on the situation, Dr. Breur says. For example, consider a woman who has not seen her mother for several months. The daughter has gained noticeable weight, yet the mother responds by excitedly declaring that she looks great. “I emphasize during psychotherapy sessions with my patients that context helps define meaning,” Dr. Breur says. “So when we look at the context of a mother saying you look great when she clearly sees that her daughter has gained weight, it can be acceptable. It reflects the intention of the white lie which is kindness, protection and unconditional love. Otherwise, white lies — especially when told to avoid personal accountability — can start a cycle of mistrust between people, ultimately compromising integrity,” she adds.
Therefore, it’s important to ask ourselves when it is and isn’t appropriate to deliver the honest truth, and when it’s best to step back and offer a more delicate response. More often than not, it’s about finding a balance between the two.
1. What can be learned about white lies according to Barbara Greenberg?A.They are short-lived. | B.They are unidentifiable. |
C.They are trouble-making. | D.They are common. |
A.White lies can harm both the liars and the listeners. |
B.We must respond to our family members truthfully. |
C.It’s wrong to tell white lies to a seriously ill parent. |
D.The “all is good” response is effective in dealing with patients. |
A.Uncaring. | B.Critical. | C.Supportive. | D.Doubtful. |
A.East or West, White Lies Are the Best |
B.Think Twice Before You Tell White Lies |
C.White Lies Signify Unconditional Love |
D.White Lies Are Empathetic People’s Favorable Choice |
4 . While scientists have many ideas, they are not certain why humans yawn(打哈欠). Still, there is one thing experts know—yawns seem to be contagious(传染)!
Have you ever caught a yawn from someone else? Most people have. In fact, a person is six times more likely to yawn after seeing someone else do so. Experts have done many studies into why yawns seem to pass from person to person. As a result, they have a few theories(理论) for the reason behind it.
One possible explanation has something to do with social mirroring, which is caused by mirror neurons(镜像神经元) in the brain. These mirror neurons help the brain notice useful behavior of others and then copy it. When one person sees another yawn, his mirror neurons observe the action and consider it to be beneficial. That may cause him to yawn, too.
Another popular theory is that yawns are contagious because of social relationships. Being social creatures, humans form friendships, families and live together in groups. That’s why many people mirror others, such as smiling when another person smiles. Yawning may be just another example of this. In fact, research has shown that one is most likely to catch yawns from another person if the two share a social relationship.
The answer could even be that yawns aren’t truly contagious at all. Instead, people yawn together simply because they’re in the same environment. Experts say many things may cause yawning, including temperature and time of day. Whatever the explanation is, experts do know that contagious yawns aren’t limited to humans. One study found that lions in South Africa also caught each other’s yawns.
1. What kind of behavior may be copied by mirror neurons?A.Important and attractive. | B.Useful and beneficial. |
C.Hard to understand. | D.Easy to copy. |
A.Those who yawn a lot. | B.Those who like smiling. |
C.Those closely connected with them. | D.Those sharing the same interest with them. |
A.Tips on how to avoid yawning in public. |
B.A real explanation for contagious yawning. |
C.Other examples of animals yawning together. |
D.Things that may cause yawning among humans. |
A.Why yawns are contagious | B.What causes people to yawn |
C.Who yawns more than others | D.Why humans yawn now and then |
5 . As humans, we’re meant to be social creatures. Being socially connected is key to our mental and emotional health.
People aren’t thinking about you — at least not to the degree that you think.
People are much more tolerant than you think. In your mind, the very idea of doing or saying something embarrassing in public is frightening. You’re sure that everyone will judge you. But in reality, it’s very unlikely that people are going to make a big deal over a social faux pas (失礼).
A.But that’s not the case. |
B.We should learn to self-evaluate (自我评估) our social awkwardness. |
C.Everyone makes mistakes; it’s part of being human. |
D.Yet many of us are shy and socially introverted (内向的). |
E.Most people are caught up in their own lives and concerns. |
F.Many other people feel just as awkward and nervous as you do. |
G.Everyone has done it at some point so most will just ignore it and move on. |
6 . Someone with strong communication skills can build positive relationships and resolve conflicts(冲突). This guide can teach you the basics.
When you’re having a serious conversation, the last thing you want is to be interrupted(打扰)by a phone call. So turn your phone on Do Not Disturb. If you have a radio or television in your office, turn it off.
Be clear when speaking.
Be clear about your goal so your message can be understood in a way that every listener can understand.
Change your tone of voice to draw attention.
Dull and unchanged voices may not always be pleasing to the ear. So good communicators use vocal color to stress their message. Yale University recommend you some tips. Raise the volume of your voice when you transition from one topic or point to another.
Keep eye contact.
A.Reduce interruption. |
B.Keep your audience in mind. |
C.Increase your volume whenever you are summing up. |
D.Eye contact helps make others believe you’re trustworthy. |
E.Ignoring any single person can easily be regarded as impolite. |
F.This requires using simple words rather than more complex ones. |
G.Before you attempt to communicate ideas, organize your thoughts using key points. |
1. What will Edward be responsible for?
A.Doing online marketing. | B.Organizing the musicians. | C.Sending out the invitations. |
A.Draw the posters. | B.Make the guest list. | C.Design the invitations. |
A.Nancy. | B.John. | C.Tim. |
A.In a hotel. | B.On a train. | C.In the hospital. |
8 . Bad judgments are meant to feed our own personal ego (自我意识) and put others down, which is not the healthiest thing to do. Here are five reasons why you should stop it now.
You start finding faults in everyone. Judging quickly moves on to more private areas of your life.
Judging becomes a habit. If you judge people, sooner or later, it becomes a habit, and you start judging everyone around you for the tiniest of things.
People begin to distrust you. If you pass judgments about other people in front of your audience, you will lose their trust. As they will begin to feel that if you can judge others in front of them, you can talk about them behind their back.
Judgment is a sign of unhappiness. If you are 100% happy with who you are, you are a lot less likely to feel the need to judge others. If you are self-assured, you will not feel the need to cast a downward glance at others.
A.You are viewed positively by people. |
B.You start taking yourself too seriously. |
C.Hence, seeing others positively shows we are positive people. |
D.You judge their clothing, actions, success, values, and everything. |
E.Likewise, you also judge because you feel you are better than others. |
F.You start judging your close ones; friends, family members, partner, etc. |
G.And no one wants to make friends with someone often talking unkindly about others. |
9 . A few years ago, I walked into Panera and placed my order. As I sat down, I noticed that at the table next to me, there was an older man with a cap eating his soup alone. At the sight of this, a feeling of sadness began to wash over me. Why was he eating alone? Was he lonely? Did he want someone to keep him company?
This wasn’t the first time I’d felt sad when I noticed someone eating alone. I automatically assume they’re lonely and need someone to be there for them. For some reason, eating with other people is the norm. Modern society has evolved to the point where most people eat with others and do almost every activity together. If we need to get lunch before a class, we’d rather ask around to see if someone will come with us. But is it possible we just don’t want to appear lonely?
For me, it’s easy to get pressured to have to be around other people when I see everyone else around me accompanied by a friend almost all the time. So many people are always around someone else, and that may make people think we always need someone with us to feel better about ourselves.
But that’s not true. We can enjoy being alone not everyone needs to be constantly surrounded by friends to be happy. And we shouldn’t be afraid to eat alone if that’s what we want to do. We don’t have to do what everyone else does.
Ultimately, I don’t think I’ll ever not get sad if I see someone eating alone, but I’ll bear in mind that maybe they just want a break from the world, or maybe they prefer it that way. It’s important to realize seeing someone doing something alone doesn’t always mean they’re lonely.
1. Why does the author mention her experience at Panera a few years ago?A.To introduce the topic of caring for old people. |
B.To start the discussion about people eating alone. |
C.To describe a memorable encounter. |
D.To illustrate the benefits of eating alone outside. |
A.It is a good way to avoid awkwardness. |
B.It helps maintain social connections. |
C.It is common but deserves questioning. |
D.It is unreasonable and unacceptable. |
A.Uncomfortable. | B.Isolated. | C.Envious. | D.Relaxed. |
A.Social relationships are unnecessary. |
B.People need to be alone to recharge. |
C.Loneliness is unavoidable in our daily life. |
D.Being alone doesn’t equate to loneliness. |