1 . A few years ago, my husband Charlie and I had marriage problems. Growing family responsibilities and financial worries took a toll on us and we began arguing frequently, often late into the night.
However, neither of us could take the step that would end our eleven-year marriage and bring heartbreak to our three young children. Deep down we knew we still loved each other, so we determined to work it out. Through countless discussions, we began to close the gulf. The more honest we were, the closer we became. When I felt we were reaching solid ground, I asked my husband to give me an “eternity (永恒) ring”. It was not so much the ring I wanted; it was the reassurance I thought it would bring.
We went shopping on a beautiful summer day. We walked hand in hand along a row of jeweler’s shops. Finally I found a ring I liked. While waiting for it to be adjusted, the jeweler took my left hand and glanced at my engagement ring. “May I clean it for you?” he asked. “It really doesn’t sparkle like it used to.” Charlie said as I slipped the ring off my finger. A few minutes later the jeweler was back. The ring shone like new!
On the drive home, I didn’t take my eyes off it. I forgot all about the eternity ring. I just couldn’t believe how this old ring suddenly sparkled the way it had the day Charlie gave it to me. I had taken it for granted these past years, but with a little polish it could still make my heart beat fast.
And that’s the way it is with a marriage. You have to work at keeping it polished and new, or else the grime (污垢) of the passing years will hide the joy. I put my hand on the seat between us and spread my fingers. Charlie covered my hand with his. I felt I was lucky to be able to see the sparkle in something old when I thought I needed something new.
1. The author and her husband had marriage problems partly because __________.| A．they frequently argued late into the night | B．they were lack of money |
| C．they had countless discussions | D．the author wanted to have an eternity ring |
| A．Free of trouble. | B．Arriving at a square. |
| C．Wealthy and generous. | D．In good relationship. |
| A．The old ring’s light attracted her attention. |
| B．She was not satisfied with the eternity ring. |
| C．Her husband kept it for her. |
| D．The couple were talking all the way merrily. |
| A．We tend to prefer new objects to old ones. |
| B．One should remain thankful for what he has got. |
| C．Marriage should be constantly polished. |
| D．We should try to rediscover the use of old objects. |
2 . Increased involvement from grandparents can be crucial in a child’s development. From helping children navigate stressful situations to giving kids that little extra bit of love and care, grandparents play an important role in the well-being of a child. Now, there’s scientific data to back this up.
According to a study of over 1,500 children, conducted by Professor Ann Buchanan from the Department of Social Policy and Intervention at the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom, children who have tight-knit relationships with their grandparents tend to have fewer problems, both emotionally and when it comes to their behavior. Besides, children also have less difficulty when interacting and maintaining relationships with others.
Kimberly Agresta, the co-founder of Englewood’s Agresta Psychotherapy Group, has also noticed in a study the significant benefits of allowing grandparents to be more involved in children’s lives. “If parents regularly involve grandparents in their child’s life early on, a child can develop real emotional closeness to their grandparents and begin to see them as a source of strong social support,” she stated in an interview. “So a child will feel they have other adults, aside from their parents, who care about them in the same way, and this adds to their sense of stability and security.”
She continued, “Stressful situations are less impactful to such children because they have other people in their lives who they have these attachments to and support from.” This is because grandparents are generally not responsible for disciplining or raising the child, and they’re able to love the child a little more freely and unconditionally than a parent, Agresta explained.
“Grandparents are a wealth of knowledge and information, and not only can they pass on valuable skills from real-life experience, but they can also share the past with their grandchildren,” added Agresta. “They can serve as historians, sharing various traditions and stories about when their own children were growing up, which create s a sense of continuity for a child.” So it looks like it may be time to set up a play date for your kids with their grandparents!
1. What is the impact of children spending time with grandparents according to Buchanan’s study?| A．Improved social skills. | B．Lower intelligence level. |
| C．Better academic performance. | D．Increased behavioral problems. |
| A．More critical. | B．More positive. |
| C．Less supportive. | D．Less judgmental. |
| A．The features of grandparents’ love. |
| B．Various roles grandparents take on. |
| C．The typical qualities of grandparents. |
| D．Grandparents’ advantages over parents. |
| A．By quoting a few people’ opinions. |
| B．By analyzing two scientific surveys. |
| C．By giving the findings of two studies. |
| D．By making comparisons between studies. |
1. What might be the disagreement between children and parents?
| A．Saying good night. | B．Going home late. | C．Washing before sleeping. |
| A．To show love and respect for parents. |
| B．To record some impressive moments. |
| C．To honor our parents. |
| A．Write a letter. | B．Send a message. | C．Focus on good memories. |
4 . When grandparents bond with their grandchildren, these little ones will feel more secure and happier. And being grandparents benefits the grandparents, too. Your grandchildren are treasures that do more than just make you smile.
It helps your cognitive (认知的) skills remain sharp.
Spending time with your grandchildren is good for your brain health. An Australian study studying the role of grandparenting in senior women’s cognitive health found that women who cared for their grandchildren once a week showed higher performance on memory and mental tests than those who spent little time with their grandchildren. “
It keeps you physically active.
Physical activity is good for you.
It makes you less lonely.
Nowadays, loneliness has increased, which has led to increased depression. That’s why spending time with other people is so important.
When you interact with your grandchildren while they learn and explore, you are inspired to learn something. This is especially true if seniors play word games like memory games or strategy games like chess. In fact, learning anything new can boost your cognitive ability and help keep your brain sharp. “With memory decline being one of the biggest things people fear, any time you learn something new, it’s a big deal,” said doctor Kristine Arthur.
| A．It keeps you learning |
| B．It allows you to enjoy sports |
| C．But physical activity isn’t limited to physical exercise |
| D．Instead, you can play an important role in your grandchildren’s lives |
| E．Having grandchildren around keeps you social and helps you get rid of loneliness |
| F．In fact, spending time with your grandchildren comes with a wide range of benefits |
| G．Interaction with others could stimulate certain nerve pathways that benefit our brain |
5 . Search “toxic parents”, and you’ll find more than 38, 000 posts, largely urging young adults to cut ties with their families. The idea is to safeguard one’s mental health from offensive parents. However, as a psychoanalyst (精神分析学家), I’ve seen that trend in recent years become a way to manage conflicts in the family, and I have seen the severe impacts estrangement (疏远) has on both sides of the divide. This is a self-help trend that creates much harm.
“Canceling” your parent can be seen as an extension of a cultural trend aimed at correcting imbalances in power and systemic inequality. Today’s social justice values respond to this reality, calling on us to criticize oppressive and harmful figures and to gain power for those who have been powerless. But when adult children use the most effective tool they have—themselves—to gain a sense of security and ban their parents from their lives, the roles are simply switched, and the pain only deepens.
Often, what I see in my practice are cases of family conflict mismanaged, power dynamics turned upside down rather than negotiated. I see the terrible effect of that trend: situations with no winners, only isolated humans who long to be known and feel safe in the presence of the other.
The catch is that after estrangement, adult children are not suddenly less dependent. In fact, they feel abandoned and betrayed, because in the unconscious, it doesn’t matter who is doing the leaving; the feeling that remains is “being left”. They carry the ghosts of their childhood, tackling the emotional reality that those who raised us can never truly be left behind, no matter how hard we try.
What I have found is that most of these families need repair, not permanent break-up. How can one learn how to negotiate needs, to create boundaries and to trust? How can we love others, and ourselves, if not through accepting the limitations that come with being human? Good relationships are not the result of a perfect level of harmony but rather of successful adjustments.
To pursue dialogue instead of estrangement will be hard and painful work. It can’t be a single project of “self-help”, because at the end of the day, real intimacy (亲密关系) is achieved by working through the injuries of the past together. In most cases of family conflict, repair is possible and preferable to estrangement—and it’s worth the work.
1. Why do young people cut ties with the family?| A．To gain an independent life. | B．To follow a tendency towards social justice. |
| C．To restore harmony in the family. | D．To protect their psychological well-being. |
| A．Response. | B．Problem. | C．Bond. | D．Division. |
| A．Break down boundaries. | B．Accept imperfection of family members. |
| C．Live up to their parents’ expectations. | D．Repair a family item that has broken up. |
| A．To advocate a self-help trend. | B．To justify a common social value. |
| C．To argue against a current practice. | D．To discuss a means of communication. |
Dear Patrick,
My dad is always very busy at work and rarely
Hai
Hi Hai,
I’m Patrick McCarthy, but you can call me Pat. This is the space where I can help you with your daily life problems, one-on-one. Go ahead and ask away!
Still, not every family relationship will end up
Also, it’s good to remember that our parents are still people like you and me. They have faults of their own. Be willing
Patrick
Good
First, the easiest to say but the
| A．Colleagues. | B．Husband and wife. | C．Waiter and customer. |
2. Write your own understandings of the relationship between family members.
3. 100—120 words.
1. What’s wrong with the man?
| A．He was sick. |
| B．He argued with his parents. |
| C．He had trouble with his schoolwork. |
| A．It’s helpful. | B．It’s too difficult. | C．It’s unnecessary. |
| A．Listen to a lecture. |
| B．Talk to their parents. |
| C．Ask their parents for help. |
