Saying ''I'm sorry when you've hurt someone can be a hard thing to do. We’re stubborn creatures, after all, and don’t love dealing with it when we’re wrong. But apologizing, and meaning it, is an important part of the forgiveness process.
Michael McCullough made a research and found that the most sincere, forgiveness-inducing apolog.es include saying “I’m sorry”, offering to make up for the wrongdoing in some way, and taking responsibility. And the reason why they work so well is largely based on principles of evolution, the apologies make the transgressor(犯错的人} seem more valuable as a relationship partner, and also help the victim fed less at risk of getting hurt again.
One basic scientific implication of the results is that the human psychology of conflict resolution is unusually similar to that of animals which live in groups. “Many group-living animals, particularly mammals, seem to use peace making gestures' as signals of their desire to end conflict and restore cooperative relationships with other individuals after aggressive conflict has occurred,” McCullough said. “We seem to reach a common view on this point.”
“I would say that empathy(情感共鸣)is a part of good mental health, and that could be a part of the natural selection process, too,'' Bethany Marshall says. “Humans with empathy tend to be healthier and make better choices in life, while those who are aggressive don’t tend to do as well.”
, And having empathy when you've hurt someone, she says, is the best way to apologize.” The most important thing is that you feel the other person's pain,'' she explains. “So instead of using logic to explain or defend, look inward to identify why you did the bad thing. Then convey that to them and say that you would like to make it better. That counts.”
You can make it even better by making sure to act differently the next time around——what the study authors referred to as “compensation”(补偿).But what tends to happen often, says Marshall, is that people get defensive about what they've done, or even mad at the person they've wronged. So watch your response, because the worst apology, she adds, “is one where the victim is blamed.''
12. In the experiment, McCullough find that
_
?
A.animals are more cooperative with other individuals |
B.humans' psychology is very close to animals’ when dealing with conflicts |
C.aggressive conflicts aren't easy to end among animals |
D.signal gestures may help end conflicts |
13. According to Marshall, people with empathy tend to _
?
A.defend themselves for what they have done |
B.try to explain why they do something logically |
C.find fault with themselves seriously |
D.show aggressive behaviors in life |
14. To make up for the wrongdoing, you need to
?
A.convey the bad things to others |
B.experience the other person’s pain |
C.be careful of your response |
D.promise to behave yourself well next time |
15. What is the author's purpose of the passage?
A.To present the reasons why apologizing in the right way matters |
B.To show the ways how you accept apologizing of others |
C.To tell the occasion when it is suitable to apologize |
D.To explain the words that you use for an apology |