You must have been troubled by when to say “I love you” because it is one of the greatest puzzles in our life.

    1     you say it first and your partner doesn’t love you back? Or if they do say it but you don’t feel they mean it? Being the first     2     (declare) your love can be nerve-racking and risky and can leave you     3     (feel) as vulnerable as a turtle with no shell. But is the person who says it first really in a position of weakness? Doesn’t it pay to hold back, play it cool and wait     4     the other half has shown their hand first?

“A really good relationship     5     be about being fair and being equal,” says psychologist Sidney Crown. “But love is seldom equal.” All relationships go     6     power struggles but, he says, if a love imbalance continues for years, the rot will set in. “That feeling of I’ve always loved you more’ may be destroyed for a time, but it never goes away completely and it often emerges in squabbling(大声争吵).” In love, at least, the silent, withholding type is not always the most powerful. “     7     (strong) one in a relationship is often the person       8     feels confident enough to talk about their feelings,” says educational psychologist Ingrid Collins. Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall agrees. “The one with the upper hand is often the person who takes the Initiative. In fact, the person who says ‘I love you’ first may also be the one who says ‘I’m bored with you’ first.” Hall believes that much depends on how “I love you”     9     (say) and the motivation for the person saying it. “Is it said when they’ve drunk? Is it said before their partner flies off on holiday, and     10     it really means is ‘Please don’t be unfaithful to me’? By saying ‘I love you’, they really saying ‘Do you love me?’ If so, wouldn’t it just be more honest to say that?” Collins agrees that intention is everything. “It’s not what is said, but how it’s said. What it comes down to is the sincerity of the speaker.”