I spent all of my 30 s saying yes. Saying yes to things I wanted to do, but a lot of the time saying yes to things I didn’t like. This was a people-pleasing skill. I thought it would speed people’s opinion of me: the woman who could do it all.

At the time, I thought I was doing it perfectly. I was making new friends and developing new interests. I joined the board (委员会) of my children’s school and packed my days with around 20 other activities to do. And then several events changed everything: pandemic restrictions (疫情限制), serious medical problems and losing my job. All these helped me see how tired out I was.

All at once, I realized how good it felt not to be busy every second of every day. For the first time, I could carefully choose how I spent my days. Having to say no turned into the beauty of choosing to say no. Looking back, the pressure to say yes and smile was my choice. I felt it my duty to say yes, from driving people to the airport to exchanging a carpool (拼车) day, from attending charity (慈善) events to seeing family every Friday night. I always wanted to solve everyone’s problems and offered good solutions. I was everyone’s cheerleader, but forgot how to cheer for myself along the way.

But saying no is being my own cheerleader. And it’s not saying no to caring for family and friends, or helping someone out when they’re in trouble. Instead, it’s a small change in mindset (思维模式), taking a pause before agreeing. I take a breath, and check my energy and ability before jumping in.

Most importantly, I tell my kids there’s nothing wrong with saying no. To help others is important but to save yourself is important, too.

Recently, a new kind of tourism has sprung (出现) up in China. Called “special forces (特种兵) style tourism”, this new kind of tourism is mainly about visiting many places of interest in a short period, most often on weekends. Most of these visitors are college students.

Yu Yinghua, a college student in Shanghai, is one of them. The 22-year-old started the “special forces style tourism” in March after she was attracted by such experiences of some travel bloggers. “After staying a long time at school, I’m hungry to take trips in my spare time,” said Yu, “Now it’s time! Spring has come and we can go out to enjoy the beautiful natural scenery.”

Most of her trips were inspired by understanding from her daily life, such as a place mentioned in a chat with friends. “But making a plan spot in the city, she was able to find a lot of information and learn more about these sites. That would help her save time when traveling on-site and enjoy the sites better.”

Unlike Yu who traveled in nearby cities, Chen Junjun, a doctoral student in Shanghai likes to travel far to get rid of academic stress. In April, the 24-year-old took a two-day trip to Xi’an, Shaanxi province. During her trip, she visited all the scenic sites in the city. “With many academic responsibilities, such a trip can bring color to my life.” said Chen.

Even so, the 24-year-old added that such tourism is not suitable for everyone. Chen said that it’s labor-consuming (耗费体力的) as visitors have to visit as many sites as possible in a short period. To some degree such trips are not as flexible (灵活的) as days-long trips in which you can change your plan as you like. “Thus, a great deal of energy and a calm mind are needed for this kind of tourism,” said Chen.