Why teach kids to forgive?
It’s been more than four decades, but I still can’t forgive what they did to me that summer afternoon. I was 14, walking in the mall with my two “friends”, Roger and Carson. I had introduced them to each other the week before and now they were chatting back-and-forth, leaving me out.
Forty-two years later, Carson died of injuries caused by a motorcycle crash, the bad blood between us unresolved. Roger? I have 4,922 Facebook friends, but he’s not one of them. I delete his every request.
Revenge isn’t so sweet
Revenge (报复) is a powerful emotion; the desire to hurt those who wrong us is a universal quality of human nature. However, research associates not-forgiving with depression, anxiety, and hostility. Multiple studies find a higher rate of heart problems in adults who won’t forgive. On the contrary, children and adults who are able to let go of angry feelings experience greater psychological well-being.
No hard feelings
Despite the evidence that forgiving is good for you, forgiveness has an image problem, originating from a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is and isn’t.
Forgiveness is often thought to be a weak response that minimizes or excuses wrongdoing. These are all misunderstandings, says Loren Toussaint, professor of psychology at Luther College. Forgiveness doesn’t require that the other person apologize. And it doesn’t have to result in reconciliation (和解). Forgiveness simply means you’re letting go of feelings of resentment and revenge. You’re refocusing your thoughts on positive emotions; perhaps even feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion toward the person who hurt you.
Why it works
When kids are wronged and don’t forgive, they continue to release stress chemicals into their brains, which activate survival emotions such as fear and anger and results in an inhibition (抑制) of the brain’s problem-solving ability, creativity and reasoning.
What happens in the brain when a person forgives is a very different picture. A University of Pisa study found that participants who thought about forgiveness exhibited activation in five brain regions, indicating an increase in positive emotions, understanding of the mental states of others, perception, and control of emotions. “Research supports the connection between forgiveness and improved academic functions,” Toussaint says. “The negative emotions of unforgiveness can be powerful factors that affect children’s attention and focus in the classroom and in their individual studies.”
Okay. I will finally let go of my 50 years of resentment. And I’m moving on. Roger… I accept your FB request… Hi.
18. Why does the writer tell his own story?
A.To share his personal experience of forgiveness. |
B.To introduce the topic of teaching forgiveness. |
C.To show his determination to get revenge. |
D.To express his hatred toward two friends. |
19. Which of the following statements would Loren Toussaint agree with?
A.Forgiving should be based on sincere apology. |
B.Forgiveness will result in refreshed friendship. |
C.Forgiving people means you are weaker than others. |
D.Forgiveness means becoming free from negative emotions. |
20. Why should kids be taught to forgive?
A.Forgiveness improves academic performance. |
B.Forgiveness helps cure psychological diseases. |
C.Forgiveness heals hurts and is good for the forgiver. |
D.Forgiveness makes the forgiver an intelligent person. |
21. The main purpose of the passage is to________.
A.inform and explain | B.argue and discuss |
C.examine and assess | D.compare and evaluate |