【推荐2】A long time ago, there was a seed and because it was only a seed, nobody noticed it. Thus, feeling inferior (低级的), the seed gave no importance to his existence (存在).

Then one day, a wind picked him up and threw him on an open field under the sun. Later, he was given rain. Years later he saw a traveler sitting by his side. "Thank you God for this. I really needed some rest," he heard the traveler say.

"What are you talking about?" the seed quickly asked. He thought the man was making fun of him. No one ever spoke to him like that.

"Who just spoke?" the shocked man asked.

"It is me. A seed."

"A seed?" The man looked at the big tree. "Are you joking? You are not a seed. You are a big tree!"

"Really?"

"Yes! Why else do you think people come here?"

"What do they come here for?"

"To feel your shade (树阴)! Don’t tell me you didn’t know you had grown over time."

A moment passed before the traveler’s words brought him pride.

The seed thought and smiled for the first time in his life. The years of torture (折磨) by the sun and the rain finally helped him grow up.

"Oh! That means I’m not a little seed anymore! I was actually born to make people feel comfortable. Wow! That’s great!"

【推荐3】We all have defining moments in our lives ---- meaningful experiences that stand out in our memory. Many of them owe a great deal to chance: a lucky encounter(相遇) with someone who becomes the love of your life. A new teacher who spots a talent you didn’t know you had. These moments seem to be the product of fate or luck. We can’t control them.

But is that true? No necessarily. Defining moments shape our lives, but we don’t have to wait for them to happen. We can be the authors of them. It is possible to create defining moments if we understand more about them. Our research shows that they all share a set of common elements. We start by asking: why do we remember certain experiences and forget others? In the case of big days, such as weddings, the answer is pretty clear----it’s a celebration that is grand in scale and rich in emotion. No surprise that it’s more memorable than a maths lesson. But for other experiences in life ----from holidays to work projects----it’s not so clear why we remember what we do.

Consider an experiment in which participants were asked to submerge(浸入) their hands for 60 seconds in buckets filled with 14℃ water. (Remember 14℃ water feels much colder than 14℃ air.) They were then asked to submerge their hands for 90 seconds instead of 60, but during the final 30 seconds, the water warmed up to 15℃. The participants were then given a choice: would you rather repeat the first trial or the second?

Psychologists have explained the reasons for this puzzling result. When people assess an experience, they tend to forget or ignore its length. Instead, they seem to rate the experience based on two key moments: the best or worst moment, known as the peak, and the ending.

In the participants’ memories, what stood out for them was that the longer trial ended more comfortably than the shorter one. So when we assess our experiences, we don’t average our minute-by-minute feelings. Rather, we tend to remember flagship moments: the peaks, the pits(低谷) and the transitions. What we don’t remember are the bits in between----sometimes there is little to distinguish one week from the next.

Partly this is because there may be only a dozen moments in your life that show who you are----those are big defining moments. But there are smaller experiences, too, in the context of a memorable holiday, romantic date or work achievement. Once we understand how we remember certain moments and why, we can start to create more moments that matter.

【推荐1】It’s been two years since I came to Helsinki, and while I have already forgotten my confusion about street names, in my mind the structure of it is still forming. There are stages of adjustment to a new place — from loving all the new to hating just about everything — but feeling settled can take a while.

I consider New York City my second hometown. You fight your way into NYC. It isn’t easy. It isn’t cheap. It isn’t particularly friendly, at least until you’re used to a four-letter word as part of a compliment. So when I got to Helsinki, I was suspicious(怀疑的)of how easy it was(aside from the street names). People were friendly and nice.

Aside from the coffee and the cost of living, Helsinki and New York don’t have much in common; but I was born in the US Midwest, which was heavily influenced by Nordic immigrants(移民), so as foreign as it was, parts of Finnish life seemed familiar.

Still, I missed New York. I visited it last year, and went to my old coffee cart(咖 啡车), still in the same place. Although it was 2019, my mind insisted that it was 2007and I had never left. Or, I did: cities change, bit by bit, day by day, so slowly that they always seem the same, when you close your eyes for twelve years, even if everything looks the same when you open them, it isn’t. The slang(俚语）is slightly different; there are references to a TV show I’ve never seen.

In my mind, this was home. It was the place I saw when I dreamt of my childhood, long after I left it; and now I am the same as the tourists. So I get back on the plane to Finland. I’m leaving the ghost behind to return to a place where I’m real, and that is itself changing, bit by bit, day by day.

【推荐3】I’ve been teaching college for many years, long enough to note the steady relaxation of attention in matters of student dress. I’ve long been used to the torn jeans, shorts in the dead of the Maine winter, and ball caps worn backward. Still, I took note recently when one of my students showed up in sleep bottoms. I’m familiar with the school of thought that says how students dress is irrelevant, so long as they’re learning. But I also wonder about the wisdom of blurring(模糊) the line between bed and desk.

I smile when I think back on the occasions that my parents associated us with needing to look tidy and neat. Once, when I was 14 and my brother 12, my father announced that he was taking us into Manhattan (just a subway ride away) to see the film “2001: A Space Odyssey.” My brother and I were excited by the proposal, but were momentarily upset when my father directed us to put on our best clothes, including jackets and ties. “But why?” I begged, not wanting to change out of my comfortable jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers.

“Because,” he said, “we’re going to New York.”

I can still see the stars in his eyes as he said these words.

So yes, I’m all for freedom of choice in matters of dress, and yes, I do want my students to be comfortable. But I also want to pay my respects to those students who believe that appearance counts.

I think of the woman – a somewhat older student—I had in class a few years ago. She was someone to whom science did not come easily: She worked hard for respectable grades on every assignment. But I was struck by how tastefully she dressed, day after day. When the course ended, I took a moment to mention this to her. “You always looked so nice,” I remarked. “As if you were ready to take on the world.

She answered, as if it were obvious, “I’ve waited 12 years to return to school, and I dress up to remind myself to be serious about it.”

And, I might add, she seemed perfectly comfortable to me.