As someone who’s been studying English for many years now, you might think you know the English language pretty well. But if you overheard a British person say, “A Billy left some bees and honey in my sherbet (冰冻果露) last night,” would you understand what they meant?

Probably not, but many native speakers may not know what this person was saying either.

The example above was a sentence that a London taxi driver might say to another member of his or her tribe. In plain English, the sentence would be, “A customer left some money in my cab last night.”

So, what exactly is meant by “tribe”?

A recent article on the BBC Culture website pointed out that nearly all of us are a part of a tribe.

This is a group that defines (定义) who we are and even how we speak. And with each tribe comes its own “secret language”, as the BBC called it.

If you work in a certain industry – education, for example – you may use slang words (俚语) and acronyms (首字母缩略词) that only other people who work in that industry would understand. Or if you live in a certain city, you might use a slang word to describe a landmark (地标) in the city, that only locals would understand.

These secret words don’t always stay within their tribes, however. Words from many tribes, especially musical cultures such as rap and hip-hop, often enter people’s everyday vocabulary. For example, the phrase “to have beef” – meaning “to be in a conflict(冲突，争执)” – was made by US rappers. Today, it’s widely used by native English speakers all over the world.

As BBC reporter Susie Dent wrote, “We hear amazing secret languages every day, full of history and stories and in-jokes. And one thing is certain: our tribal conversations will never be finished.”

Our youngest daughter can be stubborn(执拗的) about receiving gifts, and I told her so. She took it well.

“Where do you think I get it from?” she always asked me.

“I’m not stubborn when it comes to receiving gifts,” I said. “I used to be, but not now. I like all the gifts I get.”

She has a birthday coming up and we want to get her new boots, cowboy boots. All the females in our family have cowboy boots.

Cowboy boots aren’t cheap, but we want to do something special and get her something she could use and enjoy for years to come. But my daughter is pushing back, saying she’s happy with her present boots – which are old and worn-out(破烂不堪的).

I push back, she pushes back, and we are locked in(陷入) a mother-daughter match over stubbornness and how much is too much to spend on a special gift.

She thinks my husband and I do too much for her. I used to think the same thing about my parents – my parents weren’t rich, but they were generous（大方的）. They kept saying they enjoyed giving me gifts, but all I could think about was how much money they were wasting on me.

Years ago, I told a friend that I thought my mother overdid (做得过多) it when it came to buying gifts for her children.

My friend, closer to my mother’s age than mine, looked at me and said, “Who are you to tell your mother what she can do?”

I wanted to argue with her, but I didn’t. I didn’t fully understand it then, but I understand it now – now that I’m a grandmother myself.

The longer you live, the more you see how often things go wrong. Marriages fail, friendships break down, family members become estranged (疏远的), and accidents and illnesses cut lives short.

There is a brokenness (挫折；苦难) that fills many of our lives.

So, when you see life going well, families working hard and growing strong, you want to celebrate.

It took many years for me to understand that giving gifts is an expression of happiness as much as it is an expression of love. I understand giving gifts is a way to celebrate those moments when life goes well.