1 . I was 12 years old when my life changed forever. It was just before the end of the school day, and my teacher told me that my mum had asked me to go home immediately. There was a police car in the _________, and I heard the sound of my sister crying in the living room. My mum took me upstairs and told me that my dad had died. I remember crying like forever.

Then my uncle ___________ me down and told me what had happened. I remember thinking Dad must have been in an accident in his car—he had a sporty red one, and I thought he must have _________. So it was shocking to learn he had been murdered—especially when I then discovered that he had been trying to help someone. Our cleaner had been _________ a difficult break-up with her husband, and had her post delivered to our house so her partner couldn’t _________ it. Dad had taken her mail round to her, but her partner saw him, stole a knife, went to the house and ___________ my dad through the heart, which killed him instantly.

It took me a very long time to be able to get to a place where I could remember the happy times with my dad. It’s as if your brain won’t let you remember, because it’s too _______. Even 30 years on, it can be a challenge. It’s like a coping surviving _________ and I still work through it today—but that’s life living with sorrow.

During the past few years I’ve found that talking and writing has been a big help. It’s helped me _________ what happened, and has made me see these feelings are completely normal. Actually for many years, I used to ____________ why I was still feeling this way, but I come to realize there is no set __________ to sorrow. It’s not a quick-fix process; it’s not even a(n) __________ process. It’s something you have to live with, and you take comfort wherever you can find it.

For someone who has just gone through an unbearable loss, please take it easy on yourself. I’m not sure whether time is a __________, but it will show you how to live with these feelings you’re experiencing. And through your own __________ journey, you’ll get to the __________ of understanding yourself a little bit better.

3 . At a family picnic for employees of the company where my father worked, they held a contest for children. I was 13, full of enthusiasm, so I ________ myself into it.

The host gave each child a cloth handkerchief and told us the winner would be the one who cast it the ________. The first throwers, took mighty wind-ups (挥臂投掷), but when the cloth left their hands, it ________ and landed on the ground a few inches in front of them. The crowd roared with ________. Not until then did I realize it was not meant to ________ any real skill, but simply for laughs. However, it stimulated my ________ for thinking outside the box.

It ________ me to see the kids throwing harder when the handkerchief always caught the air and died. It was obvious that using the same ________ would not work. Suppose I tied a ________ inside the handkerchief? When they inspected it, I’d be ________. So I began tying the handkerchief around itself to make it small and ________ packed together to keep it from unfolding. When I approached the line, people were already laughing, ________ a big strong-looking boy like me casting it just a few inches.

I took a long wind-up, and the balled handkerchief ________ off maybe 60 feet away. The laughing ________ in collective shock. I had not broken the rules. What I learned from this contest was that, in order to live creatively, you have to ________ the less-used parts of your brain, and not accept stereotypes (刻板印象), slogans and unquestioned ideas.

6 . A little girl was enjoying the beautiful garden in her home. Her father had a good collection of rare and prized plants, which he _________ with great care.

The girl was _________ by a plant full of delicate flowers. She approached it and admired its striking beauty. Suddenly she _________ that the plant was in a pile of filth (污秽). She could not tolerate the _________ of dirt with such fantastic flowers.

She worked out a plan to clean the plant. She _________ the plant with all her might from the dirt and washed its _________ in running tap water till all traces of dirt were washed away. She then placed the plant on a clean stone and went away, proud that she had done a great _________.

Later her father came to the garden and spotted the uprooted plant, which had lain _________ in the baking sun. His little daughter ran over to _________ her achievement. “I have cleaned it, Daddy,” she reported __________

The father showed her how her treatment had nearly killed the plant and told her that the filthy soil was the best __________ to grow that plant. Hearing that, the girl felt guilty that the plant had suffered by her cleaning.

A great gardener mixes the __________ soil for each plant. __________, God provides each of us with the best __________ required for optimum (最佳) spiritual growth. But it may appear to be __________ and we may even complain to God about our difficulty.

7 . When I was a teenager, I was invited to a formal dance party. I was _________, but also nervous about what to wear. Mom suggested I wear high heels (高跟鞋).

“Mom, I don’t know if I can wear these,” I said, feeling _________. “Don’t worry, sweetie. Just take small _________ and keep your weight centered,” she suggested.

As I arrived at the party, I tried to be _________ and act like everything was fine. But _________ struck when I stepped onto the dance floor. I _________ my own feet, falling to the ground in front of everyone.

I quickly got up and laughed it off, pretending like it was _________. But deep down, I felt like a tomato, wanting to _________.

My friend Lilly helped me _________ that incident and managed me another high heels as a support so that nobody would understand my hesitation. But a little bit __________ continued in my mind.

When I returned home, I told Mom I felt like a complete __________ at the party. “It’s okay. You tried something new, and it didn’t go as __________. But that’s how we learn and grow. Don’t be too __________ on yourself and wear what you feel __________ in,” Mom said, giving me a hug.

From that day forward, I stuck to flat shoes. I learned to __________ my true self and not worry about what others thought.

8 . The walk I’d plotted was 22 miles to the coast. It is enough to get my legs and feet _________. But the real _________ for me was walking to a definite point in our country’s outline.

I was wondering if I’d have the endurance and determination to do it. I am, after all, in my late 40s. I _________ the coast at 7: 00 am. I was, for the day, an arrow. My line of hiking was as straight and short as I could make it.

Time on the road seemed to have passed quickly. _________ the five-hour mark, I was in a good state of body and mind. The _________ of the usual routine had been eased by daydreams. From this point on, the _________ seemed to change. The banks on either side were larger , and the grasses longer, even though the sea was still miles off.

Things were getting _________ , with hardly anything in sight. Despite feeling like I was nearly there, I still had four miles to go. My knees hurt. I _________ the painkillers down with my secret weapon: coffee. Studies have shown caffeine _________ endurance and it kept me going.

Try as I might, I still couldn’t see my walk’s end. I could even smell a(n) __________ in the air, but the horizon remained __________ in salt marsh (盐沼地). Then almost without realizing it, I was “there”.

Where I had hoped to see the __________ , I saw salt marsh, like chocolate milkshake. Feeling like a bit of a fool, I headed down into the nearest marsh and left my boot prints in the mud. The seven-and-a-half-hour walk had hurt my __________ , but I’d acted on an old idea, done it, and __________ it off my list. I am now free to think of new ones and move on, in this dawn of possibilities we all face. Life is too short to let ideas stagnate (停止); now’s the time to turn them to __________ .

9 . The new radio programme from Self-help expert Glennon Doyle unexpectedly disturbed me. In a session of We Can Do Hard Things, she focuses on boundaries and their importance to our mental happiness. I heartily agree with her, because saying a polite but firm “no” is one of the basics for a happy life. I was, however, particularly interested when she raised the idea that perhaps, as well as learning when to confirm our boundaries, we also need to stretch them. When does a boundary become a cage that locks us away?

Isn’t it always the case that just as you think you’ve got an area of life nailed, somebody comes along to show you that that’s not the case? As I listened, I started to see boundaries that might cause more problems than they were solving.

There was the work boundary saying that unless a project fell exactly into my topics, I wouldn’t take it — which meant I turned down work that was otherwise interesting and rewarding.

There was the boundary saying that I wasn’t to buy anything until I’d reached my savings goal — which resulted in me having to restart my laptop 20 times a day.

And then there was a boundary around relationships setting out exactly how I should be treated and what I wanted in others. Helpful to some extent, it blocked me from allowing someone to express their love for me, even if it wasn’t quite what I had predicted.

Had I been doing boundaries wrong all the time? Did I need to figure them all out again? I’ve spent the past few weeks looking at the boundaries I’ve secretly put in place, and I’ve let myself lower some that have been my protection over the years. Then I’ve come to the conclusion that, when it comes to boundaries, I’m a beginner again, and that’s fine. In fact, being back at the beginning is a blessing because it means there are still lessons to be learned and adventures to be taken and that is something for which I can only be grateful.

10 . Along with a dozen boys, I made a trip to Lowa in order to see a college that I was thinking of _________ last month. Although the trip had been fun for the most part, I felt _________ from time to time. I was missing my family and _________ that I wouldn’t be seeing them very much if I studied here. I was also missing the _________ of my home. I loved how they turned into a thousand shades of green in the spring and then became a sea of gold, red and orange in the fall. I loved the smell of the wild flowers.

Here in Iowa everything was _________. What I could see was a wild prairie(大草原) with no trees. All that I could _________ was a mixture of corn, mud, and pigs. One day after a long walk, I rested with my eyes closed and _________ being back home again. _________, when I opened them, I saw something that _________ my soul. It was a prairie sunset. It seemed to fill the sky from horizon to horizon. Gold, red and purple clouds all __________ together in a picture painted by nature’s own hand. It was so __________ that it took my breath away. It made the sunsets of my hometown seem tiny in comparison. At that moment I knew how __________ and judgmental I had been. This place also had its own __________. This place was also a part of nature’s creation.

Over the years to come I learned something else. Each of us has a(n) __________ beauty as well. Each of us has our own unique __________ and abilities.