Recently, I said something like this to my 13-year-old son: “I've told you a thousand times, just do your work and we can stop fighting. Why don't you just listen to me? I hate having to shout to get you to pay attention.”

Creating a peaceful relationship with our children is a huge test of emotional intelligence-and particularly empathy. In the above example, there are a number of emotional intelligence failures. I was angry, so I was reacting unconsciously instead of responding intentionally. Under my anger was a feeling of powerlessness and fear. I was scared that he is not self-motivated and won't do well. I reacted to the fear by attacking. I was trying to use my force of will to make him obey.

The first rule of emotional intelligence: When people feel pushed, they resist. I was blaming him, interpreting his lack of interest in homework as a kind of personal attack on me and implying that he was making me behave the way that I behaved. I was focused on what I wanted and my perspective.

I'd like to focus on this last point, because it turns out that this lack of perspective-taking—this lack of empathy—is the key to easing parent-child tension.

When I increase empathy and relook at the situation with compassion, I see a different story. Perhaps he was afraid, too. Perhaps he felt powerless, too. Perhaps he's learned the exact same pattern I've modeled: When you're afraid, attack.

That moment of curiosity is the doorway to empathy, and it's a game changer. Empathy is not actually a complex skill. It's a basic part of the social brain. That little pause of curiosity is a way to step out of the stress reaction, and step into being the person we choose to be.

Hopefully, I'll remember to take that all-important pause and ask myself :I wonder what's really going on for him right now.

Every year, countless individuals are impacted by cancer. Our goal is to walk away from cancer as we give strength to those fighting this life-threatening disease. Walk Cancer Away invites everyone to participate in their annual family-friendly walking event and join together to share the strong willpower found inside each of us with those around us. With each step we take, with each story shared, and with each donation made we are one step closer to finding a cure. To date, we have raised over $700,000 for Dr. Nancy Kemeny’s Colorectal Research Fund at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC), together with thousands of people supporting this cause over the last 12 years we are committed to.

Walk Cancer Away began as a walk in honour of James N Rentas. Deeply influenced by his loss due to colorectal cancer, the Rentas family came together 12 years ago to help others who are suffering the disease. Dr. Nancy Kemeny at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, who was the doctor treating James N Rentas, mirrors that same goal. Her efforts and that of her team at MSKCC are focused on researching to overcome the disease and find a cure.

Together they have made great advancements over the years and have provided years of life for those facing the disease. With the deepest gratitude we are thankful to all those who support and participate in the event each year, because without you this would not be possible.

Although Walk Cancer Away started just 12 years ago, we are forever honoured to be able to join in this event that so many of us find so close to our hearts. We ask you, your family, and your friends to join in this year’s Walk Cancer Away event.

Sea urchins (海胆) are small creatures, but what’s really remarkable about them is that they eat anything that happens to float by. They have really sharp teeth they use to rid rocks of algae (海澡), which makes them pretty valuable especially in places like Hawaii where algae are threatening the coral reefs. In the summer of 2019, 500,000 of them were used to deal with the algae.

The problem started when non-native algae were introduced to the ecosystem of Kane’ohe Bay in the 1970s. Because they had no enemies, they ended up taking over the bay, according to the National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS). The algae blocked sunlight from reaching the coral, which in turn affected the local fish because they changed the chemistry of the water.

That's when the NMFS turned to sea urchins that loved to devour the algae. But they had to grow to the size of a cherry tomato before they could be used. Since 2011, sea urchins have been grown and used to handle the algae problem. Some of the funds are available due to an unfortunate incident.

In 2005, a ship was grounded on a shallow reef near Kane’ohe Bay. When the ship was removed, 20 acres of reefs have been damaged. When there is environmental damage, the NMFS and other agencies receive funds from the wrongdoers and the funds are used to restore the damage. Some funds were spent on other projects like the sea urchins.When they are large enough, divers carefully place them on the reef.

Algae isn’t the only thing that threatens the coral reefs. Climate change and the effects of fishing and tourism in the area also endanger the coral reefs. But turning to sea urchins instead of man-made solutions seems like the best way to go.

Facts about fevers

You wake up one morning, and your head feels like burning. Right away, you think, “Oh, no! I have a fever!” However, when you take your temperature, you see that it's only 37.2.    11     Or, do you? From the standards in use for a long time, a fever starts at 38. Some doctors now don't agree with that, though.     12    It's the same for normal body temperatures.

They argue that everyone's normal body temperature isn't 37℃. It's 36.6 to 38℃ for kids and 36.1 to 37.2℃ for adults.    13     Besides, people's body temperatures don't stay the same all the time.

When your body temperature is around 38℃, you have a fever.    14    Fevers show that the body is doing its job. It's fighting the bad viruses and bacteria in your body. The body attacks them by turning up the heat. That way, it's harder for the viruses and bacteria to make copies of themselves. When their numbers decrease, the fever does, too.

    15    So, let them do their jobs and don't treat them. Instead, try to find the cause and treat that. If the fever reaches 39.4C or higher, call your doctor. Do the same if the fever lasts longer than three days. Fevers fight to protect us, so they're our friends, not our enemies.