Family problems come in all shapes and sizes; some are short-lived and easily managed, while others are more chronic and difficult to handle. Stress points include events such as illness and injury, changing jobs, changing schools, moving and financial difficulties. Each family develops its own ways of coping with these stresses, some of which work better than others. Unsuccessful coping can be recognized by a number of characteristics, including the following:

This usually occurs because family members avoid discussing problems or even avoid admitting that problems exist. Some families just have not learned the skills of negotiating or, for some other reason, cannot let go of bad or hurt feelings. Children are likely to     1     their behavior after their parents' behavior and may learn to refuse to talk about feelings and problems.

Families often have not decided how family responsibilities will be divided among family members. When that happens, family life can become chaotic, and many things do not get     2    . At the other extreme, some families are not     3     at all, and family members do not help one another out or fairly reassign responsibilities as family circumstances change.

Families are, especially for children, the most important source of emotional support. During the middle years, children find it hard to obtain this emotional support outside the family. Children do not perform or develop well without this support.

Families     4     best when the individuality of each family member is acknowledged and appreciated. At the least, even if someone else's personal traits or characteristics are not highly     5    , each family member needs to tolerate these traits and respect that individual. Otherwise children are likely to have a difficult time developing a healthy self-image, and they will have low self-esteem and poor social skills.

Children need to succeed in order to feel     6     of successfully managing life's stresses and challenges. If they are taught or encouraged to rely on others (within the family or outside it) to solve their problems, they will have low self-esteem and lack     7     and will have trouble succeeding in the world.