One of my close friends seems to be distancing himself from me now. I have tried facing him, who just pretends I’m not there, and I’ve asked for advice from other friends. I feel I’m not good enough. What am I doing wrong to make someone act in such a manner toward me?
If you also suffer from such a situation, you probably have come across a great principle of psychology: the tendency to see reality only through your own feelings and perspective. You will find a much smoother path through the social world if you recognize that not everything that happens to you is about you. In fact, many other possibilities exist. Perhaps your friend is busy with other matters or is dealing internally with problems of his own.
What’s troubling you is the double dose(剂量)of negativity about yourself—you assume you’ve done something wrong and, facing your friend’s disturbing behavior, you’re quick to call in bad feelings about yourself. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel bad without your permission.”
We humans are all imperfect creatures: if there is some aspect of your personality or behavioral style that you feel needs improvement, then you’re just like everyone else. Studies show that a large number of people at every age want to better some fundamental aspect of themselves.
The situation you’re in calls for inquiry, which is especially helpful in repairing social relationships. If you want to know what’s going on, you might approach your friend directly by saying how much you’re feeling shut out from your friendship, that you miss it, and that you’d like to know what seems to have gone off the track. You’ll get an honest response only by asking straight. And if it turns out that you did do something that wasn’t well received, you can decide whether it’s something about you that needs fixing.
1. How does the author introduce the topic of the text?A.By making a comparison. | B.By raising a question. |
C.By providing a definition. | D.By describing an experience. |
A.The improper manners. | B.The negative thinking. |
C.The ignorance of friends. | D.The lack of psychology. |
A.People like to follow others’ steps. |
B.It’s important to have a good personality. |
C.People desire to improve themselves at all ages. |
D.It takes time and effort to become a perfect person. |
A.Putting yourself in your friend’s shoes. | B.Caring nothing but your personal affairs. |
C.Coming straight to the point with friends. | D.Fixing the problems by your own efforts. |
相似题推荐
【推荐1】It’s the end of August, and it’s time to start thinking about going back to school. For some, it’s a very exciting time. For others, however, they can feel very stressful. There are lots of things to do if you want to have a great first day at school.
Stay busy throughout the summer holiday. Usually those who struggle (挣扎) on their first days are people who spend too much of their summer holiday indoors and relaxing. So you should try to stay active and busy over the course of the holiday. There are lots of things you can do, such as getting a summer job or taking up a sport.
Continue learning over the summer holiday. People who struggle the most at first are those who aren’t learning over the holiday. Learning itself doesn’t have to be boring! You can learn about anything you want. Simply keeping your brain in the habit of learning will give you an extra advantage when it’s time to go back to school.
Spend time with friends that will attend the same school. If you have any friends living in the same neighborhood, there are chances that you will go to the same school! Make a point of creating stronger bonds (关系) with those friends. Spend part of your summer holiday with them, and grow closer. While there’s always some worry about going into the first day of school, having friends around that care about you makes it much easier.
Buy your school supplies. The most important thing you can do in preparation for your first day is make sure you have all of the equipment you need. Though the types of materials you’ll need differ from class to class, certain things, like pens and paper, will be used for all classes.
1. Who is the text meant for?A.The parents. | B.The teachers. |
C.The headmasters. | D.The students. |
A.Spend much time relaxing indoors. | B.Take up a part-time job. |
C.Learn English every day. | D.Take part in a sport competition. |
A.Those who fully prepare all the things for school. |
B.Those who spend their summer holiday abroad. |
C.Anyone who has attended summer classes. |
D.Anyone who doesn’t learn at all during the summer holiday. |
A.Friends really help when you are in low spirits. |
B.Friends can offer to help you with your study. |
C.Friends can accompany you to spend the long holiday. |
D.Friends can give you advice when you buy school supplies. |
Birth date: October 15th, 1991
Speaking: English, Russian
Now in: Dodge City, Kansas
From: Pratt, Kansas
Learning: Japanese, Chinese, Spanish
About me: I love all outdoor activities, especially playing ball games, traveling, and climbing. I play the guitar, and can say that I’m really good at it. I also like playing chess, but I don’t play it well. If you’re good at it, maybe you can teach me. I’m going to college this September. All I really want to do during the summer holiday is travel, teach, and learn languages (this is my hobby), see things, and build great friendships. I’d like people aged 17-20 to get in touch with me, both girls and boys. It’s better if you’re from Beijing or Tokyo. I’ve made 15 friends over the Internet. If you’d like to be one of them, send me an email at blink001@yahoo.com. My MSN is blink001@hotmail.com. I’d love to be your friend!
1. Where is Blink now?
A.In Dodge City. | B.In Pratt. |
C.In Beijing. | D.In Tokyo. |
A.Playing the guitar. | B.Playing ball games. |
C.Playing chess. | D.Learning languages. |
A.To make friends. | B.To go on a trip. |
C.To learn foreign languages. | D.To introduce his hobbies. |
【推荐3】Too many people want others to be their friends, but they don’t give friendship back. That is why some friendships don’t last very long. To have a friend, you must learn to treat your friend the way you want your friend to treat you. Learning to be a good friend means learning three rules: be honest(诚实的);be generous(宽宏大量的);be understanding.
Honesty is where a good friendship starts. Friends must be able to trust(信任) one another. If you don’t tell the truth, people usually find out. If a friend finds out that you haven’t been honest, you may lose your friend’s trust. Good friends always count on one another to speak and act honestly.
Generosity means sharing and sharing makes a friendship grow. You don’t have to give your lunch money or your clothes, or enjoyments, like your hobbies and your interests. Naturally you will want to share your ideas and feelings. These can be very valuable to a friend. They tell your friend what is important to you. By sharing them, you help your friend know you better.
Sooner or later everyone needs understanding and help with a problem. Something may go wrong at school. Talking about the problem can make it easier to solve. Turning to a friend can be a first step in solving the problem. So to be a friend you must listen and understand. You must try to put yourself in your friend’s place so you can understand the problem better.
No two friendships are ever exactly alike (相同). But all true friendships have three things in common. If you plan to keep your friendships, you must practice honesty, generosity and understanding.
1. Some friendships don’t last very long because __________.A.there are too many people who want to make friends. |
B.they don’t know friendship is something serious |
C.those who give others friendships receive friendships from others |
D.those who never give others friendships receive no friendship from others |
A.A friend who gives you his lunch money is a true friend. |
B.Always tell your friend the truth. |
C.Discussing your problems with your friend often helps to solve the problem. |
D.Sharing your mind with your friend is of great value. |
A.Ask your friend for everything. |
B.Don’t tell the truth to your friend. |
C.Share your ideas and feelings with your friend. |
D.Give your lunch money or your clothes to your friend. |
A.A Friend in Need Is a Friend Indeed | B.Honesty Is the Best Habit |
C.How to Be a Friend | D.Three Important Points in Lifestyle |
【推荐1】Christian Eijkman,a Dutch doctor,left the Netherlands for the island of Java. Many people on the island had a disease called beri-beri. He was going there to try and find a cure.
At first,Eijkman thought some kind of germ(细菌)caused beri-beri. He raised some chickens. He didn't eat them,but made experiments on them. The local people were quite surprised at that. One day he noticed that his chickens became sick when they were fed the food most Javanese ate refined white rice(精炼米). When he fed them with unrefined rice,also known as brown rice,they recovered. Eijkman realized that he had made an important discovery—that some things in food could prevent disease. These things were named vitamins(维生素). The Javanese were not getting enough vitamins because they had actually removed the part that contains vitamins. Later,other diseases were also found to be caused by the lack of vitamins in a person’s food.
Today many people know the importance of vitamins and they make sure they have enough vitamins from the food they eat. If they don’t,they can also take vitamin pills.
1. The underlined word “cure” in Paragragh 1 probably means ________.A.a medical treatment | B.a kind of vitamin |
C.a kind of germ | D.a kind of rice |
A.spend his holiday | B.find ways to grow better crops |
C.do some research about the island | D.help the Javanese with their illness |
A.To eat them. |
B.To carry out his experiments. |
C.To give the Javanese a surprise. |
D.To make money by selling them. |
A.eat more rice | B.eat more meat |
C.eat some chicken | D.eat vitamin pills |
A.beri-beri was caused by chickens |
B.the Javanese didn’t like vitamins |
C.Christian Eijkman’s experiment was successful |
D.the Javanese’s disease was caused by a kind of germ |
【推荐2】I have beard that it takes many more muscles to frown(皱眉头)than to smile. Is it true,and does that mean that smiling is easier?
Phil Discarson, Preston, England
I read on a website (www.straightdope.com) that the opposite is true. According to someone called Doctor Song, a plastic surgeon, you use 12 main muscles for a genuine smile, but only 11 for a frown. But he says that even though we use more muscles to smile, ifs actually easier because, since we smile more often than we frown, our smiling muscles are in better condition.
Carl Preston, San Francisco, USA
It depends what you mean by smiling. Remember that line from Shakespeare, “a man may smile and smile and be a villain' —I think it^ from his play Hamlet. Anyone can look as if they are smiling by using the zygomaticus major and minor (they pull up the comers of the mouth), the levator labii super ions (which pull up the mouth and the comers of the nose) and the risorius (which pulls the comer of the mouth to one side). But that's not a real smile. A real smile uses the orbicularis oculi, which encircle each eye, and so when you smile like this, these muscles tighten the skin round the eye to give that ‘crinkling’ effect which creates ‘laughter’ lines. That’s a REAL smile!
Sarah Green (Dr), Birmingham, UK
Counting the muscles,it takes to smile and frown isn’t the issue,for me. I am more interested in the fact that you can find examples of the saying that ‘it takes less effort to smile than to frown’ as far back as the 19th century. That’s because it’s a piece of advice, not a scientific fact. ‘Smile, and the world smiles with you? is another saying like that. Others say that if you smile, you will almost always feel happier. So which comes first, the smile or the happiness?
Well I just read some research, which said that when we smile (or frown), our bodies get the message, even if we are only pretending. Apparently, they got some people to pretend to be angry, sad, sick, etc., and use the appropriate facial expressions, and measured what happened to their bodies. And the unbelievable thing was that even though the test subjects knew they were acting, their bodies didn't. Their heart rates increased, their skin temperature got hotter and there were signs of sweating—all physical signals of real anger, etc.
Felicity Poole, Amsterdam, Holland
1. What can be concluded from the three replies to Phil Discarson’s question?A.It is self-evident that frowning needs more muscles than smiling. |
B.More research has been carried out about smiling than frowning. |
C.There is no agreement as to whether frowning or smiling is easier. |
D.Adequate evidence has been found that smiling is better than frowning. |
A.the comers of the mouth | B.the comers of the nose |
C.the eyes | D.the lines on the cheeks |
A.Forced smiles cause harm to our bodies. |
B.Our bodies will mistake a false smile to be a real one. |
C.Pretending to smile will serve the opposite purpose. |
D.Smiles usually come later than happiness. |
【推荐3】Most birds, in particular, exhibit some degree of patterns and colours. Australia’s zebra finch (斑胸草雀), for example, was so named because of the zebra-like black and white bars on its tail. But it also has many other colours and patterns, from a bright orange bill to fine white spots along its reddish-brown sides. It’s not uncommon to spot the bird in the drier parts of Australia.
We tend to suppose all individuals of that species have their spots and bars in the same places. Look closer yet we’ll see that the quantity and design of these patterns vary between individuals. And somehow a bird exhibits a more obvious feather variation. Occasionally, we see one that has larger than usual pale areas of feathers or, more rarely, has lost its normal patterning altogether.
Colouration and patterning in all animals are caused by a range of pigments (色素). Melanin (黑色素) is responsible for blacks and browns, and a lack of this pigment can cause a partial or total loss of an individual’s dark patterning. The two main terms that describe these abnormalities are albinism and leucism. Both conditions are genetic and both can lead to a very similar physical appearance. Leucism, however, causes a lack of the pigment cells that produce melanin. But albinism causes the production of melanin to be reduced or absent.
Can we distinguish between the two conditions without the help of a cellular biologist? Yes. Albino animals have fully unpigmented red eyes. Leucistic animals, on the other hand, never completely lose pigment from the eye, although they can have blue eyes due to a partial loss of pigment.
Why don’t we see more albino or leucistic birds? Because the lack of melanin reduces the strength and lastingness of the affected birds’ feathers, making them more easily broken. Additionally, the birds’ vision and hearing are negatively affected, making them less able to hunt. The brighter feathers and lack of patterning also make them easier for attackers to see.
1. What can we learn about Australia’s zebra finch?A.It is one of the rarest birds in Australia. |
B.It is mostly covered with bright orange feathers. |
C.It acquires its name from its tail colours and patterns. |
D.It has the same spots and bars in the same places. |
A.By giving explanations. | B.By presenting opinions. |
C.By setting assumptions. | D.By drawing conclusions. |
A.Total loss of patterns. | B.Genetically-born abnormalities. |
C.Darkened feathers. | D.Abnormal formation of wings. |
A.They have quite good hearing. | B.They have completely red eyes. |
C.They have excellent hunting skills. | D.They have easily broken feathers. |
【推荐1】Fish cats are a kind of cats that love water and love to fish. They are like tigers and lions, only much smaller, around twice the size of our average pet cats. They live in wetlands of South Asia and mangrove forests(红树林)of South and Southeast Asia. Like many endangered species, fish cats were in danger of dying out more than twenty years ago, mainly because of the great international need for fish food and the people s cutting of the mangroves at an extremely fast speed.
Mangroves of Southeast Asia are home to a great many fantastic species, like fish cats, turtles, shorebirds and others. Mangroves can protect soil, and they can be the first line of protection between storms, tsunamis and the millions of people who live next to them. The fact is that mangroves can store almost five to ten times more CO2 than other forests. So protecting mangroves may well be like protecting five to ten times more of other forests.
Ten years ago, in South India, many people came together to change the future of their home. In less than 10 years, with international support, the state forest departments and the local people worked together to restore over 20,000 acres of unproductive fish and shrimp farms back into mangroves. Now experts are working with them in helping study and protecting the mangroves as well as the species living in them. Fish and shrimp farmers are now willing to work with experts to test the harvest of nature protection like fishes, turtles and other species in mangroves. The local farmers are encouraged to protect and plant mangroves where they have been lost. A win win-win for fish cats, local people and the global ecosystem(生态系统)is being built.
![](https://img.xkw.com/dksih/QBM/2023/2/27/3183908032053248/3249641095610368/STEM/53b41de09a8d4c65b3db7c01e05fe972.png?resizew=237)
1. What made the fish cats endangered?
A.Being too large and need for fish food. | B.Cutting of mangroves and lack of water. |
C.Less fish and overcutting of mangroves. | D.Natural enemies and environment pollution. |
A.They can prevent extreme weather. | B.They are perfect home to all species. |
C.They can take in more CO2 effectively. | D.They help plants grow better on the soil. |
A.Work in protecting shrimps. | B.Efforts to protect the mangroves. |
C.Ways of turning farms into forests. | D.Changes of South India in I0 years. |
A.Man and Nature | B.Ways to Protect Fish Cats |
C.The Restoration of Wetlands | D.Fish Cats and Mangroves Protection |
【推荐2】Can you be too beautiful? It is hardly a problem that most of us have to bother — as much as we might like to dream that it were the case.
Yet the blessings and curses of beauty have been a long-standing interest in psychology. Do those blessed with shiny faces and an attractive body live in a cloud of appreciation — or does it sometimes pay to be ordinary? At the most basic level, beauty might be thought to carry a kind of halo (光环) around it; we see that someone has one good quality, and by association, our deep mind may assume that they have other good ones too.
But if beauty pays in most circumstances, there are still situations where it can have opposite results. While attractive men may be considered better leaders, for instance, hidden sexist prejudices (偏见) can work against attractive women, making them less likely to be hired for high-level jobs that require power. And as you might expect, good-looking people of both sexes run into envy — one study found that if you are interviewed by someone of the same sex, they may be less likely to employ you if they judge that you are more attractive than they are.
More worryingly, being beautiful or handsome could harm your medical care. We tend to link good looks to health, meaning that illnesses are often taken less seriously when they affect the good-looking. When treating people for pain, for instance, doctors tend to take less care over the more attractive people.
To conclude, scientists point out that focusing too much on your appearance can itself be harmful if it creates stress and anxiety — even for those already blessed with good looks. “If you are crazy about attractiveness, it may affect your experience and interactions,” she says. It’s an outdated saying, but no amount of beauty can make up for a bad personality. As the writer Dorothy Parker put it so elegantly: “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
1. From paragraph 1, we can learn that .A.some may be bothered by their unattractive appearance |
B.most people are not afraid of being too beautiful |
C.we might always dream about being bothered by others |
D.being too beautiful can be a problem bothering everyone |
A.Doctors care more about beautiful patients. |
B.Beautiful people tend to have a healthy body. |
C.Attractive women and men have equal chance of leadership. |
D.Focusing too much on your appearance can be harmful. |
A.The more beautiful outside, the less beautiful inside. |
B.Beauty can help make a better personality. |
C.Beauty cannot make up for bad personalities. |
D.Ugly people have more confidence in their personality. |
A.What is Real Beauty? | B.The Bad Effects of Beauty |
C.Benefits of Beauty | D.Beauty, a Blessing? |
【推荐3】For those who get angry when they miss out on lunch, it may be the perfect excuse: researchers have confirmed that a lack of food makes otherwise bearable people “angry”.
In one of the first studies to explore how hunger affects emotions (情绪) as people go about their daily lives, psychologists found that the more hungry people felt, the more angry - or hangry-they became.
The study came about after Prof. Viren Swami, a social psychologist at Anglia Ruskin University, was told - on more than one occasion - that he was hangry and should do something about it. The challenge left him wondering if being hangry was a real phenomenon (现象).
Working with researchers in Austria and Malaysia, Swami recruited (招募) 64 adults aged 18 to 60 to record their emotions and feelings of hunger five times a day for three weeks. While the relationship between hunger and emotions has been studied in labs, the volunteers monitored their feelings as they went about their daily routines. Swami found being hangry is a real thing.
The study does not propose any solutions, but Swami believes that being able to recognize and label the emotion can itself be of help. “A lot of the time, we might be aware of what we are feeling but not understand the cause of it. If we can label it, we are better able to do something about it,” he said.
Researchers have a number of guesses that aim to explain why hunger can take charge of our emotions. One is based on studies that suggest low blood sugar increases impulsivity (冲动), anger and aggression. But it is not clear whether such loss of self-control can arise from small drops in blood sugar. Another proposes that when people are hungry, they are more likely to see the world through angry eyes.
Regardless of the mechanism, Swami believes the study raises a serious point: children who go hungry to school are less likely to learn effectively, and more likely to have behavioral problems, so ensuring pupils are properly fed must be a priority. “It’s really important to be able to identify emotions like being hangry so we can reduce the negative effects,” he said.
1. What caused Prof. Viren Swami to do the study?A.His competition with his colleagues. |
B.His academic and research pursuits. |
C.The biggest challenge in psychology. |
D.The fact that he might suffer from hangry. |
A.Its importance is beyond doubt. |
B.It put forward some practical solutions. |
C.Its participants included children and adults. |
D.It explained why people could control their emotions. |
A.We’d better encourage children to stay positive. |
B.It’s important to help children get rid of negative emotions. |
C.Children going hungry to school are more likely to get low scores. |
D.Educators should pay more attention to children’s learning methods. |
A.In a diary. | B.In a biology book |
C.In a novel. | D.In a science magazine. |