【推荐1】Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence is something we can develop with practice and times.     1    

Here are some ways to improve emotional intelligence.

One of the first steps in improving your EQ is paying attention to your body language.     2     What do you instinctively (本能地) do when you get bad news? A lot of people will clench their fists, tighten their breathing, and tense up their shoulders. Release the tension consciously and take control of your breath.

    3     It’s not only a good release, but can help you understand more details about how you came to feel a certain way.

Pause before reacting and put yourself into the other person’s place. How would you feel in his or her position? What could be a possible reason for their behavior?     4     It helps diffuse (化解) many situations while also making us better negotiators.

    5     Active listening is a deliberate attempt to not only hear what someone is saying, but to understand it. This sounds simple enough, but many people will nod to give the impression listening, but will actually just be waiting to reply or ignore the other person altogether.

Those with low EQ will impulsively start talking about themselves every chance they get, no matter what the topic is. For active listening, try to build a conversation, which can promote mutual understanding.

【推荐2】Friendships can bring joy or sorrow. Since there’s no rule book on what to do when things get tense (紧张), we talked to researchers, authors, and therapists to learn how to manage the common relationship difficulties we all face.     1    

Broken promises

Friends are important for our physical and mental well-being but these relationships aren’t always smooth.     2     And a major way this happens is through broken promises. Perhaps he canceled plans at the last minute or she declined to take part in an important party.     3     the first thing to do is remember that no one is perfect, says Jan Yager, PhD, friendship coach.

Experiencing envy

“Sometimes envy shows our deepest wishes,” says Dr. Yager. “    4    ”she says. She points out that it could be the other way around as well. Your friends might have the same feeling as yours.

    5    

There’s no worse feeling than when you check Facebook Monday morning to find out that your friends went on a weekend getaway without you. Scott Christnelly, a therapist, says, “I encourage clients to express their feelings about it but also not to jump to conclusions.” Then find someone else to talk to — maybe a family member, or a close friend (not one who went on the trip) — to explain how you feel. Maybe through that conversation you can brainstorm how you will respond.