I Am That Change

After 5 years abroad, I came to India, which is my native country. That was the time when private organizations, shopping malls, restaurants were emerging in our area.

One day my sister took me to the nearby shopping mall. We bought some clothes and the bill we made was INR 1,599. There was a huge line at the billing counter and we stood in the line. Then I noticed that a lady made her bill INR 499. So she gave INR 500 but she didn't get her one rupee in return. Surprisingly, she was okay with it. She didn't ask for her money (1 rupee).

Now it was our turn to pay. My sister gave INR 1,600. We weren't different. We did get nothing in return. But unlike the previous lady, I asked for my one rupee. They gave me an annoying look and said, “madam, we don't have any change. Leave it. It's just a rupee. There is nothing you can buy with that.”

I was so annoyed with their answer and said, “Now give me my 1,600 rupees, I will give you exactly how much I should spend on my things.” And I gave exactly INR 1,599. Everyone around that billing counter made a dramatic scene by abusing me that I was selfish，stingy（吝啬的）, etc. I didn’t mind anything and left the mall.

Outside the mall, I saw a random old woman begging in the burning sun. I gave that one rupee to her and also gave a couple of notes to her. And I noticed many people who left their one rupee for the shopping mall, ignoring that old woman who was begging just outside that mall.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was saddened by those acts. How come people don't give their valueless one rupee to the beggars who value that one rupee so much?

Not one man but everyone who visited the malls left one rupee there. If around 1,000 people visit that mall per day, it gets 1,000 rupees per day for free. I wanted to make some changes in the society, at least in our area.

Like the Christmas before, we didn’t send Christmas cards; we called my family in Canada. Ginny and I talked to my mom. We spoke to my uncles and aunts. I hadn’t seen any of them in seven years and Ginny hadn’t met them yet, but she hoped to one day.

Those calls were completed, but I couldn’t relax. I still had one more call to make, and I was afraid. I paced up and down inside the room. I wasted time at my computer. I needed to call but I couldn’t.

Five years ago, I received an e-mail from my brother. At that time, I had been out of work for several months. My life was very stressful. My brother’s e-mail was nothing terrible but it made me angry.

I wrote back. As I typed, my anger grew. Months of frustration (沮丧) flowed into my unkind response. I said things that were not nice, but I sent the e-mail without hesitation. More thoughts occurred to me. I wrote a second e-mail.

I screamed abuse at my brother in the emails. I didn’t care if I ever heard from him again.

The next day I received another e-mail from him. I didn’t read it. I just deleted it, and then I blocked his e-mail address.

For five years, he tried to get through to me but I ignored him. I had lived with this terrible guilt. I thought about contacting him, but was ashamed of myself for what I’d said.

It was time to fix it. I picked up the phone and stepped outside. I wanted privacy. Ginny didn’t know I was calling my brother. I took a deep breath, blew out a cloud of my breath into the cold December air, and dialed (拨号) his number. Even after five years, I still knew it by heart. A phone rang 3,700 miles away in Nova Scotia.

There was no answer, so I left a voice message.

Then a week after I called, I received an e-mail.

When Mama and I were alone one day, she asked me how I would like her silver brooch(胸针)for a graduation present. “Mama,” I said reasonably,“what in the world would I want an old brooch for?”“It would be like an heirloom(传家宝), Katrin. It was your grandmother’s.” “No, thank you,Mama.”“I could polish it up, Katrin.”I shook my head.“Look, Mama, a graduation present is something like that beautiful dresser set in Mr. Schiller’s window.” Mama looked worried, but she didn’t say anything.

Graduation night was full of excitement.I didn’t forget a single word of my part in the play. And when I went up to the platform for my certificate, the applause for me was long and loud. And when I got home — there was the pink dresser set!However, when I opened my wonderful present excitedly,Christine looked at me for a long time.

“Why do you look at me like that, Christine?”

“You got what you wanted, didn’t you?”She pointed to the dresser set.“Trash(垃圾),”she said,“cheap trash.”

“Don’t you dare talk about my lovely present like that! You’re jealous(嫉妒的). I’ll tell Mama.”“And while you’re telling her,” Christine said,“ask her what she did with her silver brooch. The one her very own mother gave her. Ask her that.”I looked at Christine with horror.“What? You mean—Did Mama—”Christine walked away.

I grabbed up the dresser set and ran to the kitchen.“Papa, Papa!”I cried. “Did Mama—Christine says——”I started to cry then, and Papa had me sit on his lap. After my weeping had stopped, Papa talked to me very seriously. It was like this, he said. Mama had wanted my happiness more than she had wanted the silver brooch. So she had traded it to Mr. Schiller for the dresser set.“But I never wanted her to do that, Papa.”“It was what Mama wanted to do, Katrin.”

I stood up slowly——I knew what I must do.

So I walked out of Mr. Schiller’s store with Mama’s brooch.