Seeing the Good in Others
Many interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car (碰碰车) quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, or via email, we bounce off each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on.
Unfortunately, if you feel surrounded by lots of bad qualities in others, you naturally feel less supported, less safe, and less likely to be generous or pursue your dreams. Plus, it functions oppositely.
Slow down. Step out of the bumper car and spend a few moments being curious about the good qualities in the other person.
See positive intentions. Recently, I was at the dentist’s, and her assistant told me a long story about her electric company. My mouth was full of cotton wads, and I didn’t feel interested. But then I started noticing her underlying aims: to put me at ease, fill the time until she could pull the cotton out, and connect with each other as people.
See positive character traits. Unless you’re surrounded by deadbeats and sociopaths, everyone you know must have many virtues, such as determination, generosity, kindness, patience, energy, grit, honesty, fairness, or compassion. Take a moment to observe virtues in others.
| A．See abilities. |
| B．Cooperate with others. |
| C．You are not looking through smog-colored glasses. |
| D．You, too, have positive intentions, real abilities, and virtues of mind and heart. |
| E．How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to see others’ good qualities? |
| F．You could also make a list of virtues in key people in your life — even in people who are challenging for you. |
| G．When another person feels that you don’t really see much that’s good in him or her, that person is less likely to take the time to see much that’s good in you. |
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【推荐1】Having friends may well keep you healthier and help you deal with stress better. Some studies show that people with close friends have a greater ability to fight disease than people who are alone.
Make friendship a priority(优先). Make full use of the time to be with friends even if it means letting the lawn go unmoved or the dishes unwashed for a while. When you can’t get together, use the phone to keep in touch.
Open up to close friends. Maintaining a deep friendship requires a level of “heartfelt” intimacy(亲密).Don’t be afraid to express your inner fears and disappointments. Listen to your friends when they have problems, but offer advice only when they wanted. Help raise friends’ self-esteem when they are shaken by a job loss, or other such events.
Have different friends for different activities, such as going to the movies, singing in a choir, and joining in a bowling league.
Don’t wait for a friend to ask a favor. When a friend has a fever, go to the store or ask teachers for help
Never take a friendship for granted. Like a good family, friendship needs care and patience. Become a joiner. Find a group that matches your interests.
Talk to strangers. Conversations started in museums, dining rooms,or bookstores can lead to firm friendship.
Join a club or two. It is an ideal place to meet others with similar interests.
1. According to the passage, you’d better offer advice to your friends________.| A．at any moment | B．only when they are happy |
| C．only when they need it | D．only when you are glad |
| A．Make friendship a priority. | B．Open up to close friends. |
| C．Never take a friendship for granted. | D．All the above. |
| A．You should have different friends for the same activities. |
| B．You should wait for a friend to ask a favor. |
| C．You should avoid talking with strangers in museums, laundry rooms, or bookstores. |
| D．You should never take a friendship for granted. |
| A．The benefits of making friends |
| B．The ways to earn trust from others |
| C．How to make new friends and get along with them. |
| D．Having friends keeps us healthier |
【推荐2】Why Do We Get Angry?
Anger seems simple when we are feeling it, but the causes of anger are various. Knowing these causes can make us examine our behavior, and correct bad habits. The main reasons we get angry are triggering（触发）events, personality traits（特征）, and our assessment of situations.
Triggering events for anger are so many that to describe them all would take hundreds of pages. However, here are some examples: being cut off in traffic, a deadline approaching, experiencing physical pain, and much more.
Each person, no matter who they are, has psychological imbalances. People who have personality traits that connect with competitiveness and low upset tolerance are much more likely to get angry.
| A．Our attitude and viewpoint on situations can create anger within us as well. |
| B．But some types of situations can help us to get rid of the occurrence of anger. |
| C．Anger is rarely looked upon as a beneficial character trait, and is usually advised to reduce it. |
| D．Anger is a particularly strong feeling and maybe people think that they have reasons to feel angry. |
| E．Having these personality traits implies the pre-anger state, where anger is in the background of your mind. |
| F．Understanding these reasons will control our own anger if we are willing to evaluate ourselves with a critical eye. |
| G．Not everyone acts the same in response to events, and that is why what triggers one person may or may not trigger another. |
【推荐3】When you are communicating, you spend nearly 60% of your time listening to other people, but most people only remember 25% of what they hear.
Do you find yourself looking at your phone or following a TV show during a conversation with a family member or a friend? These little distractions can have much bigger consequences than you might think and you should try to limit them completely. When you are listening to someone, put everything else aside and give your full attention to the person.
Empathize with the person
When you are listening to another person, try to think what they might be feeling or going through at that very moment. Empathy towards other people can be improved by imagining yourself in different situations, as well as by learning more about people and different cultures.
Ask more questions
Being a good listener doesn’t just mean that you sit quietly and let the other person speak, you also need to ask meaningful questions. Try to find an answer to questions “why” and “what”.
Train your emotional intelligence
The way you are able to manage your own emotions influences your ability to listen to other people.
| A．Be more open |
| B．Be more present |
| C．The good news is that you can practice it. |
| D．Don’t hurry or pressure the person into saying anything. |
| E．So how can you listen more and become the person people want to talk to? |
| F．Don’t start listening to someone with a predicted idea of what the person should do or say. |
| G．Don’t be afraid to ask for a clarification because misunderstandings can harm the conversation. |
【推荐1】Choosing the Right Path to Be a“Better”Person
Life is a constant exercise in self-improvement．In the rush to achieve，the idea of being“better”can become lost sometimes．You may always wonder how to improve yourself and fulfill your dreams in an easier way．
Explore your talents．
Everybody has some outstanding skills or interests．So it’s often necessary to be patient and try many things before you find one that suits you．
No matter how much money you make．you will not be happy if you spend your entire life doing something you hate．It’s important to at least devote some of your time to what makes you happy．
If you’re particularly unhappy at your job，consider why．
Experience something new．
Research has shown that when we’re in our comfort zone，we aren’t as productive as we are when we step just beyond it．
| A．Do what you love． |
| B．Here are some tips for you． |
| C．Register in a class you’re interested in． |
| D．Humans adapt very quickly to positive events． |
| E．It’s possible that some changes may change your feeling． |
| F．Similar types of people may be attracted to the same activities． |
| G．Try not to allow yourself to focus so much on a certain aspect of your life． |
【推荐2】Fifteen years ago, I took a summer vacation in Lecce in southern Italy. After climbing up a hill for a panoramic (全景的) view of the blue sea, white buildings and green olive trees, I paused to catch my breath and then positioned myself to take the best photo of this panorama.
Unfortunately, just as I took out my camera, a woman approached from behind, and planted herself right in front of my view. Like me, this woman was here to stop, sigh and appreciate the view.
Patient as I was, after about 15 minutes, my camera scanning the sun and reviewing the shot I would eventually take, I grew frustrated. Was it too much to ask her to move so I could take just one picture of the landscape? Sure, I could have asked her, but something prevented me from doing so. She seemed so content in her observation. I didn’t want to mess with that.
Another 15 minutes passed and I grew bored. The woman was still there. I decided to take the photo anyway. And now when I look at it, I think her presence in the photo is what makes the image interesting. The landscape, beautiful on its own, somehow comes to life and breathes because this woman is engaging with it.
This photo, with the unique beauty that unfolded before me and that woman who “ruined” it, now hangs on a wall in my bedroom. What would she think if she knew that her figure is captured (捕捉) and frozen on some stranger’s bedroom wall? A bedroom, after all, is a very private space, in which some woman I don’t even know has been immortalized (使……永存). In some ways, she lives in my house.
Perhaps we all live in each other’s spaces. Perhaps this is what photos are for: to remind us that we all appreciate beauty, that we all share a common desire for pleasure, for connection, for something that is greater than us.
That photo is a reminder, a captured moment, an unspoken conversation between two women, separated only by a thin square of glass.
1. What happened when the author was about to take a photo?| A．Her camera stopped working. | B．A woman blocked her view. |
| C．Someone asked her to leave. | D．A friend approached from behind. |
| A．enjoying herself | B．losing her patience |
| C．waiting for the sunset | D．thinking about her past |
| A．the need to be close to nature | B．the importance of private space |
| C．the joy of the vacation in Italy | D．the shared passion for beauty |
| A．a particular life experience | B．the pleasure of traveling |
| C．the art of photography | D．a lost friendship |
【推荐3】Do you know what Fear and Faith have in common? Fear believes in a negative future. Faith believes in a positive future. Both believe in something that has not yet happened. So I ask you, if neither the positive nor negative future has happened yet then why not choose to believe in the positive future?
I believe during these challenging times we have a choice between two roads: the positive road and the negative road. And our bus can’t be on two roads at the same time. So we have to make a choice and this choice determines our belief about the future and the attitude and actions we bring to the present.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t have any fear. There are times when fear is a gift. A healthy dose(剂量) of fear causes us to examine our situation and plan for the future. It moves us to smell the cheese and expect change. When used wisely it allows us to manage risk and make better decisions. Some fear is good.
However, what I have observed lately is a supersized, huge dose of fear that is spreading the hearts and minds of far too many people. This oversized fear is causing leaders and their organizations to either act unreasonably or to not act at all. They are either hurrying in a million different directions because of fear. In both cases, fear is leading them to take the negative road to failure.
The answer is the positive road paved (铺满) with faith and a belief that your best days are not behind you but ahead of you. With this belief you make the right choices and actions today that will create your positive future tomorrow. You stay calm, focused and committed to your purpose. You look for ways to save money and cut costs without making unreasonable fear-based decisions that sacrifice(牺牲) your future success. You identify opportunities in the midst of the challenges and you focus on solutions instead of problems.
Your faith and belief in a positive future leads to powerful actions today. The future has not happened yet and you have a say in what it looks like by the way you think and act. Fear or Faith. The choice is yours.
1. According to the passage, we can know that ________.| A．both Fear and Faith trust something in the future |
| B．Fear and Faith have nothing in common |
| C．neither negative nor positive future will happen |
| D．people usually choose to believe in the positive future |
| A．We must choose either a positive or negative road |
| B．We should choose the positive road |
| C．We usually choose the negative road |
| D．Our belief about the future depends on our choice |
| A．have the best days ahead of us | B．be committed to saving money |
| C．stay away from any challenges | D．take powerful actions today |
| A．Fear is closely related to faith. |
| B．We should have faith in a positive future. |
| C．Life is full of fear and faith. |
| D．Wrong decisions sacrifice our future success. |
