【推荐1】It’s hard to please everybody all the time. Whatever you do, and no matter how hard you try, there will always be certain people who dislike you. There are often times you can overlook them and go on with your life. Sometimes, however, a person’s negative feelings for you might affect your grades or your ability to meet and get along with other people.     1     .

This might be awkward, but sometimes the only way to know what is going on or why someone has a problem with you is to speak out straightforwardly.     2     . That means instead of saying “Why don’t you like me? ”, say something like “I feel like there is some tension between us. Is there anything I have done or anything I can do to help? ”

If you’ve done something to hurt or offend someone and that is the reason why the person dislikes you, the best course of action is to try to make it right. Clearly say the words, “I’m sorry. ” Be sure not to say “I’m sorry you were offended. ” or “I’m sorry you felt that way. ” or anything else that places the blame on the other person for misinterpreting your intentions.     4     .

    5     . Importantly, you have to choose not to allow the person who dislikes you to influence you or get you down. It is OK to be disliked. Remember that even the most popular and well-loved celebrities are disliked by some people!

【推荐1】As birth order is clearly one of the many factors that affect development, we should pay much attention to it. Big brothers and sisters usually develop leadership early in life, mainly because of the responsibilities for younger children given to them by their parents. The danger, experts on family and child psychology report, is that if the older child takes that role to an extreme, he or she can become an overbearing adult.

Studies of nearly 300 people have found that firstborns are usually the most strongly motivated toward achievement. This is mainly the result of parental expectations. Research also suggests that firstborn children generally become more conservative than other children because they receive most of the parental orders and rules. Used to caring for others, they are more likely to move toward such leadership professions as teaching and politics. Less social and flexible because they become accustomed in the very early years to acting alone, they may have difficulty making close friends.

By contrast, the researchers say later children are more likely to be more relaxed and sociable than the eldest child because their parents are more relaxed. However, later children are often less ambitious and may be uncomfortable making decisions for others, and will seek work that fits their needs. This may help explain why younger children tend to favor the creative fields such as music, art, and writing. Later children may make good sellers because persuasion may have been the only tool they had to deal with older children. Younger children tend to remain forever “the baby” enjoyable to be around, but at times too dependent on others.

【推荐2】Researchers find the benefits of free time depend on our beliefs about it. A new Rutgers-led study finds that contentment depends, at least in part, on believing that leisure activities are not a waste of time.

According to the study, thinking of leisure as wasteful prevents us from enjoying our leisure pursuits — especially purely pleasure activities such as hanging out with friends, watching TV and just relaxing. More goal-driven leisure activities, like exercise and meditation (冥想), tend to feel productive and so are still enjoyed whether or not people see value in their leisure.

In one part of the study, the researchers asked 302 people to recall what they did for Halloween, how much they enjoyed the holiday and their attitudes toward leisure in general. Those who believed leisure was wasteful enjoyed their Halloween less, especially when they engaged in activities like going to a party compared to other activities that might be fun but might also fulfill (履行) responsibilities, like trick or treating with their kids.

In another part of the study, participants read news articles meant to convince the reader that leisure is wasteful, unproductive or productive. Next they watched the “Best Funny Cat Videos 2019”and were asked how much they enjoyed it. Those who believed that leisure was wasteful or unproductive didn’t enjoy watching the video s as much as those who thought leisure time was productive and important.

The results show that those who do not enjoy pleasure-driven activities are more depressed, anxious and stressed. The findings suggest happiness may be driven not only by whether people engage in leisure, but whether they find value in what they are doing.

“Attitudes can be difficult to change, so it may not be possible to shift beliefs about leisure overnight,” said lead author Gabriela Tonietto. “For those who think of leisure as wasteful, focusing on the productive ways that individual leisure activities can serve their long-term goals can help.”

【推荐3】Human beings are not alone in having invented vaccination, while honeybees got there first and they can run what look like vaccination programmes, which has been confirmed by Gyan Harwood of the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign.

Queen bees vaccinate their eggs before they are laid. But the question is how the queen receives her antigen supply, for she lives purely on royal jelly, a substance secreted by nurse bees when they are in the life stage of feeding the young. Dr Harwood wondered if the nurses combined the royal jelly they produced with pieces from pathogens they had consumed while eating something brought in from outside.

To test this idea, they collected about 150 nurse bees and divided them among six queenless mini hives equipped with the young to look after. They fed the nurses on sugar-water, and for three of the hives they added Paenibacillus larvae, a bacterium causing a disease, to sugar-water.

Dr Harwood and Dr Salmela labeled the bacteria with a certain dye, to make them easy to track. And, sure enough, microscope confirmed that Paenibacillus larvae were getting into royal jelly secreted by those bees which had been fed with the sugar-water. Moreover, examination of this royal jelly revealed higher levels of defensive substance, compared with royal jelly from bees that had not been mixed with Paenibacillus larvae. This substance is thought to help bee immune systems fight against bacterial infections.

All told, these findings suggest that nurse bees are indeed, via their royal jelly, passing antigens on to the queen, then into eggs. They also mean, because the young receive royal jelly for the first few days after they hatch, the nurses are giving the young the second antigens. Each young bee is therefore being vaccinated twice.

【推荐1】Does your son or daughter get really nervous before a game? My eldest son does and as a mom I just want to hug him tightly.     1     I’ve definitely found that being too “Mom” is not always the best solution so I’ve made a little list of the things that help calm my son, and some of these might work for your kid, as well.

    2     It might be your instinct (本能) to try to stop his anxiety by reminding him of a bunch of things to think about on your way to the game. Stop. I tried that and all it seemed to do was make him more anxious. He told me he didn’t really want to think about every detail before he got there and he just wanted to be able to clear his mind. Besides, that’s what practice is for…working out all those details.     3    

Encourage deep breathing and stretching. Deep breathing is a great method for calming nerves.     4     Stretching does wonders for the mind and body before a game. I’ve found that getting my son to the games a little early and having him stretch is also a great way for him to relax and be ready and focused.

Give him chewing gum (口香糖). There is some research available claiming that chewing gum helps calm nerves and reduce stress. According to lifehack. org, chewing gum lowers Cortisol levels, also known as the ”stress hormone (激素)”.     5     This assists with focus, because chewing warms up the brain.

【推荐2】How often do you look back on your life and wish you had done things differently? Most of you may say regret is at least an occasional part of your life, while some may feel regret “all the time”. Although filling your life with regrets is indeed bad for you, going to the other extreme may be even worse. To truly get over your guilt requires that you put regret in its proper place.     1    

Make a list of your regrets.

Write down why each regret bothers you and its lingering bad effects. Be honest without catastrophizing (小题大做). For example, you may note that you hurt a friend’s feelings through your own fault.     2     You will find that a list is a lot less frightening than what you thought.

Forgive yourself.

After you make a mistake, life moves on.     3     In other words, you have voluntarily chosen to punish yourself for a poor decision you made in the past. Now it is the time to forgive yourself by declaring: “I make amends with myself and will not waste another minute of my life reliving a decision that cannot be changed.”

Look for the lesson.

Regret is like a school run by human nature. If you never experienced regret, you would keep repeating the same behaviors that led you to miss opportunities and wreck relationships in the past.     4     In your list of regrets, also note how you want to change your behavior, and outline your resolutions going forward. Next, list all the ways that you can invest in your own skills and improvement right now-and get started.

Regrets may hurt, but being trapped in them is destructive. Trying to live without them is a lost opportunity to grow. Life is a journey full of pleasures and pains.     5    

【推荐3】Let’s be real, regulating stress is no easy feat. Stress can appear in many ways on the body if not regulated properly. It can have very obvious appearances such as weight gain and blemishes(斑点)．    1    Whatever the root causes， managing your stress through simple mindfulness practices can help you keep your mental health in check regularly.

    2    PMR(Progressive Muscle Relaxation) has a ton of benefits like improving sleep quality, and helping improve concentration. Start by putting on loose clothes and find a quiet and comfortable place to lie down. Begin tensing and relaxing your feet, working your way up through your body, focusing on the sensation of the muscle and breathing slowly.

The practice Yoga has amazing mental and spiritual benefits too. Yoga by definition means a union. And when you unify the mind and body, you are mindful.    3    

Walking, hiking, and forest bathing are great ways to clear the mind. Wherever you are, getting fresh air is a critical coping mechanism for regulating our mental health.     4    If you often find yourself stressed during a busy work day, try taking a walk to help take your mind off your tasks for 15 to 30 minutes. Trust me, your body will thank you.

Aside from having an outlet to release overpowering thoughts, journaling can help track your mental health progress in an effective way. Through paper and pen, you can trace where your anxiety and negative thoughts stem from.    5    It gives you an open invitation to sit with them, and offers grace and comfort as you intentionally work through them.