Self-control

Picture this: you’re out to dinner with a friend who you know makes a lot more money than you do. When you open the menu, your heart sinks. There’s not a dish in sight that is less than $35, and even a soup is going to run you $18. You probably vow (发誓) to stick to dollar pizza slices the rest of the month to balance out this dinner. However, this time, what if you just turned to your friend, closed the menu, and said, “Sorry, I have to be honest. I can’t afford this. Let’s go somewhere else?” That’s the idea behind “loud budgeting”, a trend that could not only relieve you of the financial burden, but help you deal with these sorts of stressful situations both mentally and emotionally.

The term was first introduced by TikTok (抖音) comedian Lukas Battle. Battle explained his concept in an interview: simply put, loud budgeting is being honest about what you do and don’t want to spend money on.

It’s not just a TikTok thing though. Even those in the financial services industry are on board with the trend. Nikolina Cuca, a financial advisor, says that she’s seen social media add pressure to her clients, causing them to spend beyond their means on luxury items. “There should be no shame about trying to match your spending to your means. This trend helps young people moderate spending by normalizing the idea of living within budgets.”

Beyond just saving money, loud budgeting is also bringing people closer. Honest money talks lead to greater respect among friends and family. By openly discussing money goals, people are creating stronger bonds based on mutual understanding for each other’s financial situations.

As more people adopt this approach, it is likely to stay a big part of how we handle money in the future.

There’s no doubt that work deadlines can be stressful. When you have too many, you can feel overcome. And nearing deadlines encourages last-minute dashes for the finish line, like when students pull ‘all-nighters’ in an attempt to achieve weeks’ worth of essay writing in a handful of hours.

Yet there’s no question deadlines can serve a positive psychological function-after all, without them, many students might never even finish their work. You can see evidence for the power of deadlines in the ‘real world’, too. For instance, in 2015, when the US National Science Foundation dropped its usual twice-yearly deadlines for grant submissions in geoscience, as part of an attempt to help the overburdened system, the effect was dramatic. Annual submissions fell by 59% without the pressure of a deadline and it seems that many scientists lacked the urgency and motivation to deliver their applications.

As new research findings shed light on the psychology of deadlines, we can learn ways that deadlines can be used to increase focus and boost perseverance.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I sort through old photos, thin smiles sliding across my face. I hold each memory briefly in my hands before dropping them onto the pile in my lap and searching for the next happy moment to remember. Each picture brings up feelings deep within me.

As I relive the memories, I can’t help but notice one photo in particular hidden deep in the box. The picture at first glance (一瞥) is lovely. The sun was shining and I was sitting with my arm around a happy-looking girl, her arm rested casually on my shoulders. As I focus on the happy girl, the smile that covers my face becomes a frown (皱眉). It is Amy Soule, my now ex-best friend. A terrible pang ( 一阵剧痛) of regret comes into my mind, and I feel tightness in my throat.

The change in our relationship began with different interests. She wanted to go to the mall and shop, while I preferred to watch old movies in my spare time. Soon the only time I saw her was when we exchanged a hurried hello in the busy school halls between the classes. No more notes were passed behind the teacher’s back. She found a new group of friends, and so did I. Before I had a chance to repair the friendship, she moved away, causing an uncross able gap.

I made excuses for it. But deep down I knew that was not the truth. I was just too nervous to pick up the phone and call. Eventually the gap grew too large to bridge.

I stand up and pull myself back into the now. Glancing up at my calendar, I remember Amy’s birthday is around the comer. In fact, we were born in the same room, two days apart. We started so close and ended up so far. This bittersweet memory causes me to smile despite my feelings of regret.

Suddenly I have an idea.

I stick the note under the edge of the photo frame (相框) and search for Amy’s address.

Boys like to be considered to be brave, but what kind of things can be considered to be brave? It is not a question that can be answered by words, but by the actual deed. A boy with the name Henry gave us a good example. Ronny and Henry were two friends in the same class. They always played together and went home together. One day as Ronny and Henry were going home after school, they saw some people fighting in the street corner. Ronny said excitedly, “Some people are fighting! Let’s go and have a look!” But Henry refused, “It’s none of our business. We’d better go home and don’t get close to them. Also our parents are expecting to have dinner with us together at home and I don’t want them to worry about me.”

“You are a coward, and afraid to go,” said Ronny, and off he ran to the spot with some other boys. Henry had to go home alone and didn't think about it anymore.

But Ronny thought Henry was a coward and told all the boys that. They laughed at him a great deal. From then on, they looked down upon Henry and didn’t want to play with him.

Henry was sad but he wasn’t angry with Ronny for his rude behavior, because he had learned that true courage was shown most in bearing misunderstanding when it was not deserved, and that he ought to be afraid of nothing but doing wrong. Thus, he just ignored the other boys’ laughter and continued to stick to his thought and go to school and study as well. However, Ronny didn’t invite Henry to go home with him anymore. Instead, he had his new friends who also thought Henry was a coward. Every day after school, they didn't go home directly but went to the river or somewhere to play games and had lots of fun.