A psychotherapist once taught me a little trick that helped me feel less angry at my partner and less sad about the failings of our relationship.

She said, "Look at him and imagine him as a very little boy; that way, you separate yourself somewhat from the adult, and you are likely to understand and forgive him."

It actually helped. I couldn't be as mad at or disappointed by a child as I could be with a grown man. So, at least on some occasions, we were both spared the heartache of an uncomfortable silence or a not-so-silent argument. And I sometimes still use versions of that trick whenever I feel frustrated or angry in other relationships or personal exchanges.

But what if you could mentally change the form of the emotion itself? According to scientists at the University of Texas, maybe you can.

Focusing specifically on sadness, the researchers asked two groups of study participants to write about a time in their lives when they felt very sad. They then asked one group to imagine sadness as a person, and write down a description of the person they imagined would be sadness. Not surprisingly, the participants described sadness in such ways as an older person with gray hair and sunken eyes or a young girl holding her head down as she slowly walked along.

The researchers asked the other group of participants to write down a description of sadness with respect to its impact on their moods. When asked to rate their levels of sadness after completing their descriptions, the participants who wrote about the emotion itself and how it affects them reported higher levels of sadness than the group that anthropomorphized (人格化)sadness into a specific type of person with familiar human characteristics. The researchers suggest that by giving life to the emotion, participants can view sadness as something (or someone) separate and somewhat distant from themselves, helping them relieve their negative feelings.

While it's okay to feel sad, many people behave in unconscious and sometimes self-destructive ways to distract or "save" themselves when they are consumed by negative emotions. So in the study authors wanted to know whether or not the group that reported feeling less sad would make smarter shopping decisions.

They tested this by asking participants in both groups to first choose between a salad or a cheesecake dessert to go with the main dish they were having for lunch. The researchers also asked participants to choose between a computer loaded with features for productivity or a computer loaded with features for entertainment. Those study participants who had anthropomorphized their emotions were more likely to choose the salad and the productive computer than those who had simply written about their feelings.

For obvious reasons, then, they say this technique is best for reduce negative emotions.

【推荐3】Mark Twain said that “habit is habit, and not to be flung(扔) out the window by anyone, but coaxed (劝诱)downstairs a step at a time.”    1    

On any given day, countless numbers of us get out of bed and determine to begin to change a given behavior “today.”    2    However, a vast majority of people fail and are soon doing whatever it was they thought they shouldn't be doing.

After considerable research, some researchers believe that behavior changes usually do not succeed if they start with the change itself.    3    Once you have analyzed all the factors that influence what you do, you must decide which behavior-change technique will work best for you.

According to the psychologist Albert Ellis, most emotional problems and related behaviors arise from irrational (不理性的) statements that people make to themselves when events in their lives are different from what they would like them to be.    4    By changing this irrational “disastrous” self-talk into positive statements about what is really going on, you can increase the probability that positive behaviors will occur.

Positive self-talk might be expressed as follows: “I really didn’t study enough for the exam. I just need to prepare for the next test.” Such self-talk will help you to recover quickly from disappointment and take positive steps to correct the situation.    5    

【推荐1】Cheap Travel

You can pay a fortune to travel around the world. Or you can pay nothing at all. Here are some places you’ll never regret visiting. They won’t cost you a dime.

The British Museum, London (U.K.)

You need to go here to see. the Egyptian mummies, the ancient Greek marbles and so many other treasures. It’s open every day, and unlike most other attractions in England that cost an arm and a leg, it’s completely free.

National Mall, Washington D.C. (U.S.A.)

You can walk a pathway from the Lincoln Memorial to the severe Vietnam Veterans Memorial and to the Washington Monument with other sights in between. Do you know you can go up in the elevator to the top of the Washington Monument? Tickets are free, but pay a small fee to reserve them in advance to avoid being disappointed.

Notre-Dame Cathedral, Paris (France)

This great treasure of the world simply can’t be missed. The great stained-glass rose window alone is worth the visit. The Sunday Mass with the Gregorian chant was like stepping back in time. Admission is free every day, but you are welcome to leave a donation- There are also free tours a few times each week. You’ll be additionally charged for tours of the bell tower or the crypt.

Tips: The Notre-Dame Cathedral was greatly damaged by a massive fire in April 2019. Please visit notredamedepairs. ƒr/en/for more information regarding future visits to the cathedral.

National Museum of Ireland, Dublin and Mayo (Ireland)

Want to see bog bodies, gold ornaments, Viking artifacts and learn about rural Irish life? All four branches of this museum are free to visit, including museums devoted to archaeology, natural history, decorative arts and history and country life. The museum of country life in Turlough Park, Mayo, is devoted to Irish rural traditions, while the natural history museum is especially famous for its collection of insects.

【推荐2】When we walked into the cafe, we were greeted by a waitress who smiled, held out a menu, and pointed to a table. It's only when we asked for a table for six that we realized something was a bit different. The waitress glanced at our group and held up six fingers. That's because all the staff are deaf.

Last month, the Huffington Post visited Smiles Cafe in Granada. The business only employs people who are deaf, from the waiters to the cooks. “My goal is for this cafe to be a mirror for other businesses to lose their fear of hiring people with disabilities," the founder Antonio Bunuel, who is from Spain, told HufPost. “It's also for the people who work here to lose their own fear of getting into the work force," he added, “So they can fly.”

In the city, about 1 person in 15 has a disability. But around 99 percent of people with a disability are unemployed. While the law requires companies to employ two people with disabilities for every 50 employees, many businesses don't. “Smiles Cafe was born out of a provocation. 99 percent of people with disabilities here are jobless. That was wrong!" Bunuel said. “So I decided to open a cafe where all of the employees were deaf to show that it works.

At the cafe, customers order by pointing to items on the menu, which have special symbols to indicate substitutions. For instance, if you're ordering fruit parfait, and you don't want yogurt on it, you just point to the illustration (图示) of the parfait, and then to the image of yogurt with a big red “X" over it. To help customers communicate with staff and learn while they eat, the walls are covered with letters_? words and phrases, from “Thank you" to “Welcome" with illustrations that show the corresponding translation. The cafe, now five years old, is a project of the non-profit Centro Social Tio Antonio. “We've opened a small window," the founder said, “If it serves to create awareness, then that's a start.

【推荐3】For many kids, the Internet is at their fingertips. From computers to smart phones, a web of information is open to them. According to a new report from the Pew Research Center, about three out of four kids aged 12 to 13 connect the Internet using a mobile device (移动设备) from time to time. Many younger kids are online, too.

Julian Zeitlinger, 9, from New Jersey, uses his computer to watch videos and play games. To keep him safe online, his parents monitor (监视) his web use and discuss Internet safety with him. “I ask my parents if something is wrong,” Julian says.

Mobile devices offer more ways than ever to share personal information. The information can be dangerous in the wrong hands. A study found that 62% of children aged 8 to 17 have had an unpleasant online experience.

Have you ever had to enter a parent’s email address when signing up for a website? That safety net is there because of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). The law says sites for kids under 13 cannot collect personal information, such as a phone number or full name, without a parent’s permission (允许).

This July, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) will update (更新) COPPA for the first time since the law was created, in 1198—when there were no smart phones. “The nature of the way kids get online has changed,” FTC lawyer Phyllis Marcus said.

When the changes take effect, COPPA will apply to mobile device (移动设备) and newer forms of adverising. “There is a misunderstanding that if a site is following COPPA, it is totally safe,” says privacy expert Shai Samet. He runs kidSAFE, which checks whether a site meets kidSAFE standards and is safe. “It is important that kids know how useful the Internet is but that is also can be dangerous if you are not careful.” he adds.

【推荐1】Taking paternity leave (陪产假) shortly after the birth of a new son or daughter may be the key to developing strong father-child bonds that last for years, says new research from Ball State University.

“We find that 9-year-olds report greater satisfaction with father involvement,” said Richard Petts, a Ball State sociology professor who carried out the research with Chris Knoester at the Ohio State University and Jane Waldfogel at Columbia University. “They feel closer to their fathers and report better communication with their dads if their fathers take paternity leave, and especially if their fathers take two or more weeks of leave.”

“We found evidence that part of the reason why two or more weeks of paternity leave may lead to 9-year-olds expressing greater satisfaction seems to be that longer periods of paternity leave-taking link to parental relationship satisfaction,” said Petts.

The study is the latest in a series examining the effects of parental leave in the development of children and its influence on the family. It is also the first research known to assess the associations between paternity leave and children’s opinions of father-child relationship quality in the United States, Petts said.

Petts said the findings of the study will help families and policymakers (政策制定者) who aim to strengthen families and improve higher quality father-child relationships.

The present structure (结构) of paternity leave in the United States provides limited opportunities for fathers to take leave and, in fact, often discourages fathers from taking leave, he said.

“The possibility to take leave is often limited to higher-income families,” Petts said. “A lack of a national paid family leave policy limits access to important benefits for American families. The present structure may be increasing inequalities.” Petts said that providing equal access to paternity leave may help to change these patterns and strengthen family relationships.

【推荐2】Oriola Oluwaseyi, 32, makes her way through the busy streets of Ajegunle, a low-income community in Nigeria's commercial center, Lagos.

The Nigerian mother of four is pushing through people and things in the streets to collect plastic waste bottles from retail stores. In the evening, Oluwaseyi will drop the bottles at Moritz International School where her 8-year-old daughter attends primary school. The bottles will act as a down payment for her daughter's tuition. As a small trader earning a little from trading car engine oil at busy Ajegunle Market in Nigeria's economic center, Lagos, Oluwaseyi does not earn enough to cover the annual 18,000- naira( around $ 50) school fees.

"Whenever a new session is about to start, sometimes we get worried when there is no money," Oluwaseyi said. However, thanks to a recent partnership with Africa Cleanup Initiative （ ACI ）, a non-governmental organization with focus on sustainability （可 持续 性），Oluwaseyi's daughter's school now accepts the plastic bottles, also known as PET bottles, in exchange for school fees. Through a program called Recycles Pay, ACI collaborates（合作）with schools in low-income communities to allow parents who are unable to afford fees for their children to pay using plastic bottles they collect.

Twice a month Oluwaseyi visits her daughter's school with bags full of sorted plastic bottle recyclable. The cost of tuition is determined by how many PET bottles she has collected.

“My daughter's headmaster introduced me to this program last year, and I subscribed to the project because I knew it was something to relieve myself of the burden of spending money on the fees," she said. "The program has given me a method to channel the funds I would have spent on school fees," she added.

There are more than 450,000 megatons（百万吨）of plastic waste discarded（丢弃） in Lagos waters every year, according to reports in local media. Nigeria generates huge amounts of plastic waste, and according to a 2017 Ocean Atlas report, Nigeria is ranked number 11 in the world for plastic pollution, posing health risks to citizens and causing environmental damage.

【推荐3】The Harvard Pre-College Program is a nice experience for high school students. Alongside peers(同辈)from around the world, you’ll be introduced to college life as you attend classes, live on campus, and enjoy fun outings and activities.

◆Learning without limits

Biology, physics, law, writing and philosophy — these are just a few of the 30-plus courses you can choose from in each session. In our noncredit classes, we set aside grades so that you can fully commit to your growth as a well-rounded student. Class sizes typically range from 14 to 18 students to encourage interactive learning.

◆Living at Harvard

When you attend the Pre-College Program, you’ll live in a historic undergraduate house, near Harvard Square. You will be with your fellow Pre-College students, resident directors, and proctors who provide support. You’ll also enjoy meals in one of Harvard’s dining halls, which are a short walk from Harvard Yard and provide many options for a variety of dietary needs.

◆Thriving outside the classroom

The summer Pre-College Program offers many mentally challenging co-curricular(补充课程的)activities beyond the classroom. With faculty and Harvard-affiliated experts, you will have the opportunity to participate in workshops on topics like the psychology of color-blindness, classic literature from around the world and science of happiness. From our Cambridge scavenger hunt to a trip to the Sand Sculpting Festival at America’s first public beach, there’s no shortage of fun activities in the Pre-College Program.