4 . Want to know how the people around you see the world? You have to ask them. Here are a few tips on how to become a good communicator.
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When a person is talking, you can listen actively rather than just being silent to give him enough room to talk. I have a friend who continually responds to my comments with encouraging words like “aha” and “yes”. I love talking to him.
• Storify the responses whenever possible.
I never ask people “What do you think about that?” Instead, I ask “How did you come to believe that?”
• Turn your partner into a narrator (叙述者) .
• Don’t be a topper.
If somebody tells you they are having trouble with their teenage son, don’t turn around and say “I know exactly what you mean. I’m having problems with my daughter Susan too.” You may think you’re trying to build a shared connection.
• Respect really matters.
If we let a sense of threat enter our conversation, our motivations will be ruined quickly.
A.Be a loud listener. |
B.Respond as quickly as possible. |
C.We won’t talk to understand but to beat someone. |
D.This is a common mistake that people make in conversations. |
E.However, what you are really doing is drawing attention to yourself. |
F.Generally, people don’t go into enough detail when telling you a story. |
G.That gets them talking about the people and experiences that shaped their values. |