I’ve noticed I am the queen of unwanted advice to my     1     children and I’m hardly alone in this.

When they tell me about things that have    2     them, I become a(n)    3     on everything and anything, which I'm obviously not. I can’t help going into Mom mode, “You should ...”, “You need to consider ...”. I want to be part of their lives and    4     them from   making mistakes that are obvious to me. But they just want a listening ear and an open heart. They are not looking for tips and       5       and they may not even want an immediate       6     to their problems. They are looking for a safe place to talk with a person who loves and    7     them. Though we may see ourselves     8     the wisdom of our years with them, they see a controlling parent who hasn’t    9     the fact that they’re adults with their own thoughts and feelings.

But I'm learning very slowly that talking at is not the same as talking with. I’ve decided to become a better parent by being a better listener. It’s not an easy task, but I am    10    .