Last summer I sat at a long picnic table near a breathtaking mountain. While the parents were eating dinner, the kids ran up a trail in search of a secret fort. Twenty minutes later one excited little boy, James, interrupted the adult conversation.
“Mom, Mom, you can’t believe what we found!”
Lovingly, his mother smiled and whispered, “I can’t wait to hear, James, but grown-ups are tal king, and there will be a pause in the conversation. Please wait for the pause.”
On my other side, another boy came running up to his mother with equal enthusiasm.
“Mom, Mom, we had so much fun—”
“I am talking! Don’t interrupt,” she said.
“But, Mom—”
“Be quiet! Can’t you see that I am talking??”
“But Mom we found the—”
“Shut up, Steve!” she yelled.
My heart sank. I knew what was coming. James, on my right, patiently waited for the pause, enthusiasm still alive and well. Steve, on my left, walked away from the table, looking shamed, carrying with him stories of secret forts never to be shared.
What markedly different messages to the child! “Wait for the pause” versus “Shut up” gets incorporated (包含)so differently into a child’s developing sense of self.
Harsh(刺耳的) words have bad effects. That’s why I want you to promise to delete the phrases “Shame on you” or “You should be ashamed” from your vocabulary. I have seen countless patients whose paren ts’ thoughtless words echoed in their heads and chipped(消除) away at their self-worth, even decades later.
So we have to discipline ourselves to make our instructions constructive. One great tool is to look for positive behavior to reinforce. Don’t ignore t he things that your kids are doing right. Thank your children. Tell them that you noticed how they waited patiently or cleared their plate without being asked. Chances are that they will do it again. Let them feel noticed, appreciated, and valued. There’s no better way to shape behavior.
28.
Why does the writer tell us the story at the beginning?A.To praise James’ mother. | B.To introduce the topic. |
C.To stress Steve’s bad manners. | D.To describe the beauty of nature. |
29.
The writer suggests parents not use harsh phrases such as “Shame on you” because_____.A.they can show parents’ weakness | B.kids may be likely to copy them |
C.their meanings are hard to understand | D.harsh words have bad effects on kids |
30.
Which of the following is not proper for parents when offering advice?A.I like the way you deal with it. | B.Awesome, you just make it. |
C.Fantastic! | D.Must I keep repeating? |
31.
Which of the following is the best title for the passage?A.Love kids through proper language | B.Let kids realize their mistakes alone |
C.Never ignore kids’ mental growth | D.Learn to share secrets with kids |