If you’ve got more than one kid, you’re showing favoritism, whether you know it or not.
“Parents may favor one child over another, for a lot of reasons. The child may have an easy temperament (性情) or might behave particularly well or may look like you,” says Susan Newman, a psychologist. “But regardless of the reason, every child must be made to feel loved and special, in order to fully develop.” Newman warns that favoring one child over their siblings (兄弟姐妹) publicly can have a significantly negative effect.
“The unfavored child can feel defeated, and unmotivated, as a result of working hard to get parental support, with no success,” says Yelena Gidenko, a licensed counselor. “He orshe may also suffer from depression and become angry, bitter, or jealous,” she adds Children feeling this way may act out, in an effort to get their parent’s attention, making matters worse. They may also behave inappropriately, becoming the black sheep, which they believe their parents already see. “Unfavored children may have a hard time accepting who they are, since they do not feel accepted by their parents,” adds Gidenko.
Favoritism is not exactly a boon for the favored child, either. Kids who feel that they are their parent’s favorite sometimes translate that into a go pass for their behavior in future relationships. “Favored children may feel a sense of entitlement, and that rules do not apply to them,” says Gidenko. This can negatively affect the way they act in school, at work, and in their friendships.
It may seem absurd, but the opposite can also occur. Favored children may experience anxiety and insecurity, resulting from their favorite child status. “Children are observant. They know when they are getting praise for things they have not earned, such as being your favorite. For this reason, they know, and fear, that these things might be taken away fromthem at any time, for any reason,” says Gidenko
Newman urges parents to remember that it’s not possible to treat children equally because they are all different. What parents can, and should do is talk to their kids about how, and why, they treat them the way they do. “According to research, parents don’t talkabout this. They don’t say why one child gets more time than another. If they do, they are preserving their bond with each child,” says Newman
12. What can we learn about unfavored children?
A.They want to please their parents |
B.They care little about their siblings. |
C.They tend to lack a sense of identity |
D.They hope to be the black sheep of the family. |
13. What does the underlined word “boon” in paragraph 4 mean?
A.Blessing. | B.Challenge. | C.Honor. | D.Burden. |
14. What does Newman suggest parents do in the last paragraph?
A.Treat their children equally |
B.Explain themselves to their children |
C.Strengthen their bond with their children |
D.Remove the differences between their children |
15. What is the text mainly about?
A.The solutions to parental favoritism |
B.The consequences of parental favoritism |
C.An analysis of why parents play favorites |
D.A contrast between favored and unfavored children |