【推荐1】It’s no surprise that Jennifer Senior’s insightful magazine cover story “I love My Children, I Hate My Life” is arousing much chatter — nothing gets people talking like the suggestion that bringing up a child is not a completely fulfilling, life-enriching experience. Rather than concluding that children make parents either happy or miserable, Senior suggests we need to redefine happiness: instead of thinking of it as something that can be measured by moment-to-moment joy, we should consider being happy as a past-tense condition. Even though the day-to-day experience of raising kids can be extremely hard, Senior writes that “the very things that in the moment damage our moods can later be sources of intense content and delight.”

The magazine cover showing an attractive mother holding a cute baby is hardly the only Madonna-and-child image on newsstands this week. There are also stories about newly adoptive — and newly single — mom Sandra Bullock, as well as the usual “Jennifer Aniston is pregnant” news. Practically every week features at least one celebrity mom, or mom-to-be, smiling on the newsstands.

In a society that so persistently celebrates procreation (繁衍), is it any wonder that admitting you regret having children is equivalent to admitting you support kitten-killing? It doesn’t seem quite fair, then, to compare the regrets of parents to the regrets of the children. Unhappy parents rarely are encouraged to wonder if they shouldn’t have had kids, but unhappy childless folks are bothered with the message that children are the single most important thing in the world: obviously their misery must be a direct result of the wide-open baby-size holes in their lives.

Of course, the image of parenthood that celebrity magazines like US Weekly and People present is hugely unrealistic, especially when the parents are single mothers like Bullock. According to several studies concluding that parents are less happy than childless couples, single parents are the least happy of all. No shock there, considering how much work it is to raise a kid without a partner to lean on; yet to hear celebrities tell it, raising a kid on their “own” (read: with round-the-clock help) is a piece of cake.

It is hard to imagine that many people are stupid enough to want children because it looks so fantastic — most adults understand that a baby is not a haircut. But it is interesting to wonder if the images we see every week of stress-free, happiness-enhancing parenthood aren’t in some small, subconscious way contributing to our own dissatisfactions with the actual experience, in the same way that a small part of us hoped getting a part of the way celebrities live might make us look just a little bit like them.

【推荐2】When people think of word innovators throughout history, male writers likely come to mind. Shakespeare is credited with inventing more than 1,700 words, including “bedroom”, “courtship” and “swagger”. Charles Dickens is said to have first used the words “butterfingers” and “doormat”, and Dr. Seuss reportedly came up with “nerd”.

But despite contributions from famous writers, historians say another group has an even greater impact on the development of language: teenage girls. Women lead up to 90 percent of linguistic (语言的) changes, as sociolinguist William Labov observed in the early 2000s. In fact, he wrote, women are often linguistically ahead of men “by a full generation”.

Now women are leading the charge online. Though Oxford University Press’2023 word of the year, “rizz”, meaning charm, was coined by a man, several runners-up, including “situationship” and “swiftie” were inspired or first used by women. The term “goblin mode”, which refers to lazy behavior, was Oxford’s 2022 word of the year and appears to have been first used by a woman on Twitter in 2009.

It’s often impossible to tell who first used new words. But whether or not young girls invent new phrases, they are more likely to be early adopters of the latest lingo (术语), says University of Toronto linguist Sali Tagliamonte, “They’re pushing changes forward.”

There are a handful of possible reasons why girls lead lexical (词汇的) innovation. According to Gretchen McCulloch, author of Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language, women tend to be more socially aware. They have larger social circles and may be exposed to more language diversity. And because women tend to be caregivers, boys usually learn language from their mothers, whereas women and girls learn words from other women.

【推荐1】After a lifetime watching football with my father, a cancer diagnosis means I will have to go alone. And this is my dad’s last match.

Out of the lift, we made directly for the seats. The atmosphere was pleasant, without any final-day tension.

The only goal came just after half an hour. That, I think, was the last goal Dad ever saw, but I can’t be certain he did see it. Several times I’d glanced at Dad; on each occasion his eyes had been gazing out of the stadium.

Half-time came and went. I spent it following him in and out of the toilets, making sure he remembered his way back and meanwhile showing the way to some elders. The second half passed without goals. Dad sat in his seat, waiting for the whistle to end the match.

As soon as the last of the players had passed us, the goodbyes began all around us, the air quickly filling with the usual “see you in August” and “have a great summer”. Dad had tried to hide his tears. But by the time Frank and Dave and all the other matchday friends he’d made over the years had started to say their goodbyes, he could no longer disguise them. The tears streamed from him like I’d never seen before. But it was the noise that accompanied them which was the worst part: a long loud high cry; the cry of a child, yet coming from a man in his seventies. Awkwardly, I put an arm around his shoulders to comfort him. He cupped his hands over his face and continued to sob.

He was trembling when he stood up and reached for my hand as we headed towards the top of the steps.

This was it: the end. 25 years after he’d led me into Old Trafford stadium by the hand for my first game, here I was, leading him by his as he left for a final time. At the top of the steps, he grasped the handrail and began to descend, giving no final glance back at the field as he went.

【推荐2】How to Volunteer Abroad and Actually Help People

Fear of “voluntourism” shouldn’t stop you from doing something great. We’ve all heard it. Those “voluntourists” going to Africa think they’re helping, but they’re actually going for a holiday, wasting money, and strengthening dangerous stereotypes (刻板印象). I am, though, against the idea that we shouldn’t volunteer abroad at all. How would the world be a better place without people devoting their time and resources to help others who need it?

I chose my organization well. As a student, there are so many options for volunteering abroad. I travelled with Cambridge Development Initiative, a student-run project that works on sustainable development projects in Tanzania. There were four branches and I was on the business team. We were trained on the dangers of voluntourism and on best volunteer practices. We learned about the culture and even learned some basic Swahili, the local language, before travelling. When we were in Tanzania, we stayed in the same accommodation alongside our Tanzanian team members, ate the same food, and spent our free time in the same places.

When I told my friend I was travelling to Tanzania to volunteer for the summer, he said, “Oh, you’re going to have one of those summers where you go away for a couple of months and it totally changes your profile (头像) picture.”

I didn’t change my profile picture, but I did help 23 young people start their own companies. They brainstormed ideas, surveyed target communities, improved their designs, came up with business plans, and collected seed capital for their startups. They came up with creative ideas, such as a “mini-grid” (微型电网) providing electricity to an off-grid village and a plastic-waste recycling company.

Before I went to Tanzania, I was “this close” to taking an internship in a company instead because I worried I would be contributing to the negative practice of voluntourism. Here’s how I made sure that didn’t happen, and why I think the benefits of volunteering abroad far outweigh the benefits of taking some questionable moral high reasons back home.

【推荐3】It was an early September day, cool and bright and just right for running, and I was in the first few miles of a 10.5-mile race over a course through tiring hills. Still I felt rested and springy; despite the hills, it was going to be a fine run.

Just ahead of me was Peggy Mimno, a teacher from Mount Kisco, New York. She too was running easily, moving along efficiently at my speed. The pace felt comfortable, so I decided to stay where I was: why bother concentrating on pace when she was such a nice pacesetter for me? I would overtake her later on when she tired.

So I was running closely behind her. Then the race was getting tougher. We had four miles left and already it was beginning to be real work. I was breathing hard.

Peggy overtook a young male runner. Apparently she knew him, for they exchanged a few cheerful words as she passed him. Their exchange worried me. You don’t chat during a race unless you are feeling good, and Peggy plainly was, but whatever springiness I had once possessed had left me long since.

Still, I was close enough to overtake her if she tired, so I didn’t give up hope completely. We were approaching a long, punishing hill now and it would be the test. We were a mile from the finish line, so whatever happened on the hill would almost certainly determine who crossed it first.

As I moved up the hill, working hard, my attention wandered for a few minutes. When I looked up, Peggy was moving away—first five yards, then ten, then more. Finally it was clear that there was no hope of catching her. She beat me decisively.

There is an important lesson in that race. Much of what you read about running makes a sharp distinction between the sexes. Women are assumed to be weaker, slower and not nearly as skilled athletically. Yet as Peggy Mimno so clearly demonstrated, the similarities between male and female runners are more important than the differences.