【推荐1】Which of your children is your favorite? Your response is probably “none of them.” What kind of parent would choose one child as his or her favorite? The truth might be surprising to you.

Years of research supports what many have suspected-most parents have a favorite child. Studies have explored reasons from birth order to gender (性别) and shared interests. Yet even with years of research that supports this idea, most parents tend to deny the fact that they have a favorite child. Even if there is no obvious parental favorite among siblings (兄弟姐妹), studies have shown that children often feel preferential treatment of their sibling by their parents. Favoritism often results in family conflicts and feelings of sadness among family members whether parents’ favoritism is real or only felt. Thus both the kids and their parents tend to be plagued by the favoritism.

The question isn’t whether or not you have a favorite child, since it’s pretty clear that many parents do. Typically, favoritism has little to do with loving one child more. It is more about how your personality resonates (产生共鸣) with one child’s personality more than the others’. Essentially, it’s a question of “like”. Still, why is it so hard for us to admit that one of our children might be our favorite? Some parents might worry about harming their children emotionally or psychologically. Some parents confuse liking one child’s personality with the love they show to each child. However, when recognizing that you might hold preferential feelings towards one child you are taking an important step towards creating a better relationship with all of your children.

Instead of denying the fact, you can reflect on how you relate to each of your children. Examining your feelings towards each of your children can provide a greater insight into your own personality and how you function in relationships -- and in fact, how you consider your children might reflect more about your thoughts and feelings of yourself than them. Increased awareness about your inner world can help you build and keep healthier relationships with your children.

【推荐3】Everyone would agree that it is parents’ job to teach their kids right from wrong. The rise in teen crime suggests that some parents are failing at these tasks. To correct the problem, lawmakers in some states require parents to serve jail time when their children get into serious trouble again and again. The lawmakers hope that this punishment will motivate parents to take their responsibilities seriously.

Supporters of these laws believe that the threat of jail will scare parents into paying more attention to their teens’ behavior than before. They think that these parents would be happy to let the state try to straighten out their kids at juvenile detention centers (少管所), because the centers took the responsibility off the parents’ shoulders. With the new laws, the responsibility is put back on the parents. “The hope is,” a supporter said, “that if parents are held legally responsible, they’ll work harder to keep their youngsters in line.”

However, many people think the laws are unfair. They argue that parents should not be punished for the criminal acts of their children, unless it can be shown there is a contributory fault on the parents’ part.

People who oppose parental responsibility laws also believe that punishing parents won’t create a change in the kids’ behavior. These people argue that parents may not be at fault. The children of good parents can fall in with the wrong kids and get into trouble, they say. Worse yet, if mom is in jail, there may be no one at all to control her kid. …

The unfortunate fact is that jailing a parent punishes the rest of the family. The jailed parent cannot work to help support the family and may also be fired from a job for missing too much work. Furthermore, little evidence exists to support the idea that the threat of punishment improves a parent’s ability to control a teenager. Opponents of parental responsibility laws say that parents who are in this situation need help, not a jail sentence.

【推荐1】After the first half-day of kindergarten, Abe had something on his mind. His mum, Ricki Weisberg, had made him a sandwich for lunch but Abe wasn’t having it. It was not a good sandwich. So after he stepped off the school bus, he said, “Mommy. Terrible sandwich by the way. Really terrible.”

The honest exchange between Abe and his mum was recorded on video by Weisberg. Weisberg shared it online and it became a hit and brought a lot of laughter to so many people. “It makes me happy because of the gaiety it probably brought to people,” said Weisberg. “For me, I just love that piece of that. Life is hard. So giving people laughter makes me happy.”

But most people just wanted to know one thing: What was the sandwich?

Well, the “terrible” sandwich was a hurried, thrown-together butter and jelly sandwich, said Weisberg. On Abe’s first day, Weisberg reread the school communication and realized she would need to pack him food. At first, Weisberg thought she could make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But because of food allergy (过敏) considerations at the school, peanut butter was out of the question. So she made him a butter and jelly sandwich.

Weisberg said, “I thought I made a good sandwich and I was being a good mum, so I was just expecting him to be happy. I was quite surprised when he hit me with that sandwich review.”

The butter, Weisberg would later find out, had gone bad. The sandwich tasted really terrible. “It’s really hard being a mum. You never really know if you’re doing it right. I just want to encourage parents to build that level of trust with your kids so they can be honest with you,” said Weisberg.

【推荐2】One thing that’s never in short supply at the beginning of each new year?     1     But many of us fail to stick with our New Year’s resolutions months (or even weeks) after making them. It turns out there are commonly avoided mistakes. That explains why some people always seem to reach their goals while others keep falling short.

    2     If you fail to pick the right habit, you aren’t likely to accomplish the corresponding goal. Say you want to lose some weight this year, forming a habit of running 30 minutes a day may not help you do that if you don’t also form habits related to the foods you eat, because diet affects weight more than exercise.     3     Failure to establish habits that support your goals may cause your resolutions to flop before you begin.

Another common mistake people make when setting goals is becoming overly concerned about the amount of time it will take to form a new habit. There’s no one right answer when it comes to how long new habits should take to form.     4     Some people simply adopt new habits faster than other people and that complex habits usually take longer to form. Consider how easy it is to brush your teeth at night compared to reading a full chapter of a book each day.

So the yearly ritual of resolution setting doesn’t have to be an annual disappointment. Sometimes, the difference between success and failure is simply choosing the right habits and the process you use to go about achieving it. Most importantly, remember to be kind and flexible with yourself and to celebrate any and all progress along the way.     5    

【推荐3】Most of us assume those hyper-achievers who are always able to squeeze in their workout, eat healthy foods and pick their kids up on time must have superhuman self-control. But science points to a different answer:    1     The only catch is that building good habits takes effort and insight. Thankfully, here are a few research-backed steps that can set you on the path to where you want to be.

The way you define the goal you hope to turn into a habit does matter. Goals like “meditate regularly” are too abstract, research has shown.     2    Don’t say “I’ll meditate regularly. “ Say, “I’ll meditate for 15 minutes each day. “This is actually key to habit formation, making the task easy to carry out, but it’s often overlooked.

    3    Scientists have proven that you’ll make more progress toward your goal if you decide not just what you’ll do, but when and where you’ll be cued to do it. Making this kind of plan reduces the chances you’ll forget to follow through because the when and where in your plan will serve as cues to action.

A plan like “I’ll study Spanish for 30 minutes every weekday” is OK. But a detailed, cue-based plan like “Every workday after my last meeting, I’ll spend 30 minutes studying Spanish in my office” is more likely to stick as a habit.

We’re strongly influenced by the behaviors of the people around us, evidence shows. Want to start running regularly? You’re probably better off joining an established running club than asking a few friends who aren’t yet in the habit of jogging to get in shape with you.

However, it’s important not to get too crazy - if you try to train with marathoners when you’re just hoping to work up to a 5K, it can be discouraging.

Research has shown you’ll persist longer and ultimately achieve more if you focus on finding ways to make goal pursuit fun. One excellent way is to try “temptation bundling”. Research shows that temptation bundling improves follow-through; it transforms goal pursuit into a source of pleasure, not pain.     5