People are taught how to speak, but good sentence structure and a wide range of vocabulary words won’t always lead to being understood or understanding others.
The good news is that it’s never too late to learn how to communicate more effectively. The first step is to realize you’ re having communication issues.
You have the same fights over and over.
Your fights are about the same topic again and again. If this is happening, it means you don’t yet have the skills to resolve conflicts.
You don’t want to fight so you try not to bring up subjects that lead only to pain and disconnection. The problem is that avoiding them leads to pain and disconnection anyway. Unless you learn how to have hard conversations productively, you will get more and more disconnected until your relationship is in danger of ending.
You regularly feel misunderstood or unheard.
No matter how hard you try, you don’t feel understood. Perhaps your partner has expressed the same feeling.Over time the disconnected feeling does damage to your relationship. It’s important to learn how to communicate in a better way, so that both you and the other person feel heard and understood.
| A．You avoid discussing certain topics. |
| B．You argue with your partners about some issues. |
| C．If you can’t resolve issues, they will continue to show up. |
| D．This requires more than just speaking to your partner or vice versa. |
| E．Then, you can learn how to communicate in a more productive way. |
| F．If you leave conflicts unsettled, you will feel disconnected and lonely. |
| G．Effective communication requires much more than being able to speak. |
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【推荐1】In December 2017, I attended a conference. Five successful women delivered speeches on the topic “Bouncing Back after Setbacks.” As I sat there listening to their many personal and professional mistakes and setbacks, I felt fortunate that I hadn’t made that many mistakes in my own life.
Those women had lost thousands in investments, started companies but failed, sold companies that later ended up being worth millions, and lost partners in the name of business. Despite knowing that they had, in fact, bounced back and were again doing very well, I was starting to feel sorry for them.
Then, as if someone whispered in my ear, I heard the words: “Don’t be so proud of yourself. You haven’t made any mistakes because you haven’t lived at all. Look how boring your life is.” Whose voice was this, and how dare it speak to me like that?
I think, for the first time, I heard my own heart speak. It shook me to my core, and it took all I had to keep from crying. I started thinking of the mistakes I had made. The voice was right. There weren’t many at all. I had followed a straight path for 38 years. I went to school, earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees with honors, and stayed at every job I’d had far longer than it was professionally beneficial for me to do so. In fact, at 38, I had only had three jobs. “The devil(魔鬼) you know is better than the one you don’t ” was my motto.
A quick review of my life made me realize that it was the actions I hadn’t taken that I was suddenly regretting. I hadn’t studied abroad. I hadn’t risked love. In fact, I was perpetually single. I hadn’t started a business. I hadn’t traveled enough. I had said “no” far more than “yes”.
The voice that whispered to me continued to the New Year. It was like it laughed at me. The thought of turning forty frightened me. It’s one thing to be unhappy and unsettled in your twenties, and perhaps even in one’s thirties. But was I going to start a new decade with the same boredom? I needed something to pick me up, some activity I could look forward to.
1. How did the author feel when first hearing stories from the 5 speakers?| A．Regretful. | B．Surprised. |
| C．Lucky. | D．Guilty. |
| A．she hadn’t lived her life to the fullest |
| B．she was deeply touched by the women |
| C．she had nothing to be proud of in her life |
| D．she had made a lot of mistakes in her life |
| A．The familiar devil is more frightening. | B．Saying “no” is better than saying “yes”. |
| C．It’s better to stay within the comfort zone. | D．You’d better change your job more frequently. |
| A．felt afraid of ageing |
| B．traveled abroad a lot |
| C．was married in her thirties |
| D．decided to do something new |
【推荐2】Sitting across from a German couple and a Chinese mother and her child,we were waiting at the Guilin airport for our delayed flight to Shanghai.In this last week of our travel study tour,my husband and I were appreciating this short break by reading.
I didn’t care the languages I couldn’t understand.But it was an American accent that pulled my attention from my book.It also pulled the attention of three rows of people seated around us as the American barked“Coming through!Coming through!’’
At the same time,an oversized man pulling an oversized carryon passed our row.His wheeled bag caught the German’s feet.Turning to see what snagged his luggage,the American pulled his bag so hard that it crossed over the man’s feet.It was then that my horror struck.There was no“I’m sorry”，no“Excuse me”and no“Pardon me”coming from this countryman of mine.
While this wasn’t the first or last incident where I saw discourteous，ill-mannered and rude Americans in China,each produced similar feelings.First,I was embarrassed that someone from my country was creating a negative(负面的）impression of Americans.My second reaction was a desire to apologize.I wanted to explain to the Chinese woman and her child,the German couple next to them,and everyone nearby that this was not typical American behavior.I wanted them to know“we”were all not like that.
I never got to explain,or to apologize.language differences made that choice impossible,and rational(理性的)thinking made it unsuitable.But it turned out not to be a need.The German man caught my eyes with a bit of headshaking,smiling and eye rolling,which I returned,and it was clear that he knew we were Americans and was expressing that there was“no need”to apologize for“universal idiot behavior”
1. In the airport,the author and her husband .| A．were talking with a German couple |
| B．were enjoying reading together |
| C．were having a hard time |
| D．were worried about their flight |
| A．He was confident. | B．He was impolite. |
| C．He was social. | D．He was generous. |
| A．destroyed | B．covered | C．pushed | D．stopped |
| A．Uneasy and apologetic. | B．Scared and disappointed. |
| C．Proud but nervous. | D．Comfortable but stressful. |
【推荐3】About 72% of Americans use social media, where it’s common to make new friends, build relationships, or share photos of your daily life.
Social media allows people to connect in ways that wouldn’t otherwise be possible, and can often expand (扩展) people’s social circles, says Kathryn Moore, Ph. D., a psychologist at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center in Santa Monica. On social media, you can connect with those people in similar situations and share worries, fears, and celebrations, Moore says. According to her research, up to 64% of teens report they have made a new friend online, for example, and 83% of teens report that social media makes them feel more connected with their friends.
Social media can negatively impact relationships when you start comparing yourself to other people, including your friends, just based on their social media, Moore says. For example, some may fear their lives aren’t as good as their friends’ and take friendships away because they feel they’re not good enough. Problems with self-esteem (自尊) can also appear when posting about some relationships on social media, but not all of them. “People might feel left out that they’re not as important if they’re not being shared on social media,” Moore says. Cyberbullying (网络霸凌) can also negatively impact relationships, whether you are receiving mean comments or sending them to someone else.
In order to grow a relationship that started online you should show the real you. To deepen a relationship that started on social media, Moore suggests talking on the phone or meeting in person. This allows for more fluid (流畅的) conversations, where you can communicate in real time. Remember that the people who you meet online can become an important part of your life.
“If a relationship created through online resources is treated with respect and consideration, it can be a great way to meet someone you might never have had the chance to meet,” says Don Grant, Ph. D., chairman of the American Psychological Association’s Device Management & Intelligence Committee.
1. What can we say about social media according to Moore’s research?| A．It has become the most important way for teens to make friends. |
| B．It prevents people from making friends in real life. |
| C．It can help teens to develop real relationships. |
| D．It makes teens feel more lonely and lost. |
| A．Social media may influence relationships in a bad way. |
| B．Building relationships online is not a piece of cake. |
| C．Relationship online makes people less connected. |
| D．Social media increases the risk of cyberbullying. |
| A．It leads people to lose chances to meet face to face. |
| B．It is more respectable than the relationship in real life. |
| C．It can be meaningful if dealt with properly. |
| D．It can be developed in an informal way. |
A． | B． |
C． | D． |
