【推荐1】There are good reasons to value our friendships.Some years ago a public-opinion research firm, Roper Starch Worldwide, asked 2007 people to name one or two things that said the most about themselves. Friends far outranked homes jobs, clothes and cars.

“Ironically,” says Brant R. Burleson, professor of communication at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., “the better friends you are, the more likely you’ll face conflicts.” And the outcome can be what you don’t want—an end to the relationship.

The good news is that most troubled friendships can be mended.

Swallow your pride. It wasn’t easy, but that’s what Denise Moreland of Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii did when a friendship turned sour. For nearly four months, Moreland, 45, had watched over Nora Huizenga’s two young daughters, who were living with their father on the base, while Huizenga, 40, completed training as a dental hygienist in Nevada.“I felt honored to be asked to step in,” Moreland says.

“When Huizenga returned at Christmas,” Moreland recalls, “I had so much to tell her, but she never called.”

One daughter had a birthday party, but Moreland wasn’t invited. “I felt like I’d been used,” she says. At first, Moreland swore to avoid Huizenga. Then she decided to swallow her pride and let her friend know how she felt. Huizenga admitted that she’d been so worried about being separated from her family that she’d been blind to what her friend had done to help her.Today she says,“I would never have figured out what happened if Denise hadn’t called me on it.”

When a friend hurts you, your instinct is to protect yourself. But that makes it harder to solve problems, explains William Wilmot, author of Relational Communication. “Most of us are relieved when differences are brought out in the open.”

Apologize when you’re wrong—even if you’ve also been wronged. But over the course of a friendship, even the best people make mistakes.“We don’t think clearly when we’re arguing,” says Michael Lang, a professional mediator (调解人) in Pittsburgh. Instead, says Lang, ask: “What’s going on? This doesn’t make sense.”

See things from your friend’s point of view. Sociologists Rebecca Adams Rosemary and Blieszner interviewed 53 adults who each had many friendships lasting decades. “We were curious how these people managed to sustain strong friendships for so long,” says Blieszner. Tolerance is key, the researchers learned. “It’s surprising how often a dispute results from a simple misunderstanding,” adds psychotherapist Anne Frenkel.

Accept that friendships change.“Friendships change as our needs and lifestyles change,” Wilmot observes.

Making friends can sometimes seem easy, says Yager. The hard part is keeping the connections strong during the natural ups and downs that affect all relationships. Her suggestion: Consider friendship an honor and a gift, and worth the effort to treasure and nurture.

【推荐2】Fear of Puberty (青春期)

When young people Ret to puberty, it causes the physical and mental changes that can bring stress and even fear to them. Understanding your feelings better can make you a lot easier to deal with them.

• Grief at the passing of childhood.

If you have had a happy childhood it’s natural to feel sad at the realisation that it’s coming to an end. Many aspects of adult life can be discouraging.     1    

• Stress about putting on weight.

Many people find themselves getting fatter during puberty and others’ reactions to this can be cruel.     2     Exercise and healthy eating will help you get rid of it sooner.

•     3    

It can be disturbing to suddenly be seen in a sexual way if you don’t fed ready for it. Remember that you have a right to set boundaries and be treated with respect.

• Feeling your body doesn’t fit you.

Sometimes bodies develop in a way that just doesn’t reflect the people inside them, and this can be very stressful. Getting help early can help reduce the problem or make you more able to deal with it.     4     Your doctor can provide support on body issues and you can insist on seeing the doctor alone if that makes it easier.

    5     Most teenagers have to face them, too. And there are ways to deal with many of the specific problems puberty can cause. The sooner you seek help, the sooner it will get better.

【推荐3】My roommate Lily was well organised, while I was not. Each of her things had its place, but mine were always hidden somewhere. She even labeled (贴标签于) everything. I always looked for everything. Over time, Lily got neater and I got messier. She would push my dirty clothing over, and I would lay my books on her tidy desk. We both got tired of each other.

War broke out one evening. Lily came into the room. Soon, I heard her screaming. “Take your shoes away! Why under my bed! “Deafened, I saw my shoes flying at me. I jumped to my feet and started yelling. She yelled back louder.

The room was filled with anger. We could not have stayed together for a single minute but for a phone call. Lily answered it. From her end of the conversation, I could tell right away her grandma was seriously ill. When she hung up, she quickly crawled (爬) under her covers, sobbing. Obviously, that was something she should not go through alone. All of a sudden, a warm feeling of sympathy (同情) rose up in my heart.

Slowly, I collected the pencils, took back the books, made my bed, cleaned the socks and swept the floor, even on her side. I got so lost in my work that I even didn’t notice Lily had sat up. She was watching, her tears dried and her expression a kind of disbelief. Then, she reached out her hands to grasp mine. I looked up into her eyes. She smiled at me, “Thanks.”

Lily and I stayed roommates for the rest of the college years. We didn’t always agree, but we learned.

【推荐1】If you want to convince the boss you deserve a pay rise or promotion, the solution could be simple --- eat the same food as they do. Psychologists have discovered managers are much more likely to instantly trust us if we choose the same dishes as them.

During experiments, discussions over wages and work conditions were much more successful if both sides chose to snack on the same treats. And shoppers were much more likely to buy a product advertised on TV by someone eating a similar food to them at the time.

The reason is thought to be the so–called similarity attraction theory --- where people tend to like others who have similar tastes or habits to themselves. But this is believed to be one of the first studies highlighting the role of food in this relationship. Researchers at Chicago University in the US conducted a series of experiments to examine food’s role in earning trust.

In a test, participants were told to watch TV --- where someone pretending to be a member of the public praised a certain product. The volunteers were given Kit Kat bars to nibble, while the TV people ate either a Kit Kat or grapes as they talked.

The results showed viewers were much more likely to express an interest in buying the product if the TV showed the other person eating a Kit Kat too. The researchers added, “Although similarity in food consumption is not a sign of whether two people will get along, we find consumers treat this as such. They feel more trusting of those who consume as they do. It means people can immediately begin to feel friendship and develop a bond, leading to smoother transactions from the start.”

Harley Street psychologist Dr. Lucy Atcheson said it was already known that wearing similar clothes could instantly create trust. But this was the first report that food had the same effect. She said, “This is really interesting. It makes sense as people feel they have common ground and can trust the other person. That means negotiations are more likely to be successful.”

【推荐2】We often focus on building relationships with others so that we forget the essential first step: being friends of ourselves. That is the crucial first step if we are to have good relationships with others. How can we have good relationships with others if we don't even have good relationship with ourselves? The problem might be worse than we expect. Maybe we don't like ourselves without realizing it.

For example, maybe you have made mistakes in the past which you feel bad about. You might be disappointed with yourself on why you could make such mistakes. Even if that happened in distant past, your subconscious (潜意识) mind still has a reason not to like yourself.

You might wish that you were born in different family, or that you have different background. Maybe you could not accept the fact that you are not as lucky as others, who seem to get whatever they want effortlessly because of their background.

You might have some personal traits that you don't like. For example, you may be an introvert ( 内向的人) and you don't like it; you wish you are an extrovert (外向的人).

Your achievements relate to others. They might have better achievements than you, and no matter how hard you tried, it might seem impossible for you to match them. You might then think that it's because you are not smart enough or don't have enough talents.

Is there anything that resonates (产生共鸣) with you? All these give reasons to you not to like yourself. That in turn makes it difficult for you to be a good friend to yourself.

Fortunately, there are always things you can do to fix the situation. Here are some tips:

【推荐2】Black taxis have been a common sight in London for decades. Now these taxis and their drivers have become the focus of a new exploration into Alzheimer’s (阿兹海默症). For those on the outside, it may seem that behind the wheel of these black taxis are just regular people who help move us to our destinations. But within their brains is a map of London’s streets that has put GPS technology to shame for decades.

“The Knowledge”, the test for London’s taxi drivers, stands among the hardest mental examinations one could ever undergo. It involves recalling information repeatedly from the memory of minute details about 56,0000 streets in London, from Trafalgar Square to the tiniest residential lanes.

Normally, the hippocampus (海马体) feels the effects of Alzheimer’s most. University College London and Alzheimer’s Research UK are studying these taxi drivers’ brains, as it has been found that the hippocampus controlling the brain’s short-term memory and spatial (空间的) memory systems is enlarged in their brains. Moreover, the taxi drivers’ hippocampi continue to enlarge as they go on doing the job for more years, suggesting that perhaps there’s something we can do to reproduce the effect in the general population.

Lead researcher Hugo Spiers was part of the team which 20 years ago found that, like birds and squirrels, the taxi drivers’ hippocampi gradually got bigger. Indeed, research has found for years that any animal that requires a detailed spatial knowledge of their territory experiences growth in the hippocampus.

Spiers’ team hopes to deal with Alzheimer’s by studying the taxi drivers’ brains. To collect more information on the mechanisms (机制) that cause the “brain gain”, Spiers has asked thirty of London’s taxi drivers connected to an MRI machine to drive around on their routes. The machine will allow the researchers to gather real time observations of the workings of the hippocampus. “It’s been a joy to help scientists fight with the disease,” said taxi driver Robert Lordan.

【推荐3】People may set an alarm on the phone or clock that sounds like this: beep beep beep. That hard, unpleasant sound may be making it harder to shake off the sleepy feeling in the morning known as grogginess. So, is there a better way to wake up? A recent study says yes. The answer is music.

The study, carried out by researchers in Australia, involved 50 people. The researchers found that people who wake up to musical alarms reported feeling more awake and alert. Stuart McFarlane, a lead writer of the study stated, “We are very surprised by these findings as one might expect a harsh beeping sound to be more successful,” at waking up a person.

Sleep inertia is another term for grogginess. It means a person has a heavy feeling when waking up, and has trouble getting moving again after sleeping. McFarlane said people need to better understand sleep inertia’s harmful effects on human performance later in the day.

Not everyone will experience the full effect. But for those who do, “care should be taken” when performing duties that require a top performance within this period, he said. This includes “dangerous tasks like driving or riding our bikes” shortly after waking up. The same is true for people who work in dangerous situations shortly after they wake, including firefighters and pilots.

So, what makes musical alarms better for waking up? The researchers think the music may be more successful in reducing sleep inertia because it has several tones, compared to the single tone of a “beeping” alarm. McFarlane said that the changes over time between the music tones may help increase a person’s attention when waking from sleep.

And is there a kind of music that is best to wake up to? There may be, McFarlane said. “We could suggest alarm sounds that are tune full and easy to hum or sing along with. The current sounds I have been using include ‘Close to me’ by the Cure and ‘Borderline’ by Madonna.”

No matter how you wake up, experts say, the amount of sleep you get also matters a lot.

【推荐1】Three Boys and a Dad

Brad closed the door slowly as Sue left home to visit her mother. Expecting a whole day to relax, he was thinking whether to read the newspaper or watch his favourite TV talk show on his first day off in months. “This will be like a walk in the park.” he’d told his wife. “I’ll look after the kids, and you can go visit your mom.”

Things started well, but just after eight o'clock, his three little “good kids”---Mike, Randy, and Alex --- came down the stairs in their night clothes and shouted “breakfast, daddy.” When food had not appeared on within thirty seconds, Randy began using his spoon on Alex’s head as if it were a drum. Alex started to shout loudly in time to the beat(节拍) . Mike chanted “Where’s my toast, where’s my toast” in the background. Brad realized his newspaper would have to wait for a few seconds.

Life became worse after breakfast. Mike wore Randy’s underwear on his head. Randy locked himself in the bathroom, while Alex shouted again because he was going to wet his pants. Nobody could find clean socks, although they were before their eyes. Someone named “Not me” had spilled a whole glass of orange juice into the basket of clean clothes. Brad knew the talk show had already started.

By ten o'clock, things were out of control. Alex was wondering why the fish in the fish bowl refused his bread and butter. Mike was trying to show off his talent by decorating kitchen wall with his color pencils. Randy, thankfully, appeared to be reading quietly in the sitting room, but closer examination showed that he was eating apple jam straight from the bottle with his hands. Brad realized that the talk show was over and reading would be impossible.

At exactly 11:17, Brad called the daycare center(日托所).“I suddenly have to go into work and my wife is away. Can I bring the boys over in a few minutes?” The answer was obviously “yes” because Brad was smiling.

【推荐3】By analyzing the movement of the smile across a person’s face, the software developed by researchers at the University of Bradford can determine whether or not the expression is true. The most significant movements detected by the software were around the eyes, supporting popular theories that a true smile is one that can be seen in a person’s eyes.

“A smile is perhaps the most common of facial expressions and is a powerful way of signaling positive emotions (情绪)” says Hassan Ugail, Professor of Visual Computing at the University of Bradford, who led the research. “Techniques for analyzing human facial expressions have advanced a lot in recent years but distinguishing between true and false smiles remains a challenge because humans are not good at picking up the relevant messages.”

The software works by first mapping a person's face from within a video recording, and identifying the mouth, cheeks and eyes of the subject. It then measures how they move through the progress of the smile and calculates the differences in movement between the video pieces showing true and false smiles. They found significant differences in the way the subjects' mouths and cheeks moved when comparing the true and the false expressions. The movements around the subjects’ eyes, however, showed the most striking difference, with true smiles producing at least 10 percent more movement in these muscles (肌肉).

“We use two main sets of muscles when we smile — the zygomaticus major, which is responsible for the movements upwards of the mouth and the orbicularis oculi which causes movements around our eyes,” explains Professor Ugail. In false smiles it is often only the mouth muscles that move but, as humans we often don’t spot the lack of movement around the eyes.

He adds, “An objective way of analyzing whether or not a smile is true could help us develop improved interactions (互动) between computers and humans. It could also be important to scientists aiming to gain more understanding into human behavior and emotion.”