【推荐1】We’re raising children!

A famous research scientist was being interviewed why he was so much more creative.

    1    He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his balance and it fell, spilling its contents all the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, she said , “Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk.    2    Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?”

Indeed, he did. After several minutes, his mother said,“You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order.    3    We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. Which do you prefer?” He chose the sponge and they cleaned up the spilled milk.

His mother then said, “You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle. Let’s fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it.” The boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it.    4    

This scientist remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn’t need to be afraid to make mistakes.    5    

Wouldn’t it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert’s mother responded to him?

【推荐2】In the mid-1990s, Dr. Marshall Duke, a psychologist at Emory University, was asked to help explore ceremonies in American families. “There was a lot of research at the time into the falling apart of the family,” he said. “But we were more interested in what families could do to oppose those forces.” And they found that the single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative(口述故事).

Around that time, Dr. Duke’s wife, Sara, a psychologist who works with children with learning disabilities, noticed something about her students. “The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges,” she said.

Her husband was interested, and along with a colleague, Robyn Fivush, set out to learn if Sara’s assumption was valid. They developed a measure called the “Do You Know?” scale(量表)that asked children to answer 20 questions. Examples included: Do you know where you grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family?

Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush asked those questions of four dozen families in the summer of 2001, and   taped several of their dinner table conversations. They then compared children’s results to a series of psychological tests the children had taken, and reached a surprising conclusion. The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives and the higher their self-respect. Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child become tougher and happier? “The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said.

So if you want a happier family, retell the story of your family, especially about the positive moments and how you braved the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the probability that your family will thrive ( 兴 旺 )for many generations to come. This is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.

【推荐3】For years I wanted a flower garden. I would spend hours thinking of different things I could plant that would look nice together. But then we had Matthew, Marvin, Helen, and the twins, Alisa and Alan. I was too busy raising them to grow a garden.

Money was tight (拮据的), as well as time. Often when my children were little, one of them would want something that cost too much, and I’d have to say, “ Do you see a money tree in the yard? Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”

Finally, all got through high school and college and were off on their own. I started thinking again about having a garden. Then, one spring morning, on Mother’s Day, I was working in my kitchen. Suddenly, I looked out of the window and there was a new tree, planted right in my yard. I thought it must be a weeping willow (垂柳), because I saw things blowing around on all is branches. Then I put my glasses on — and couldn’t believe what I saw. There was a money tree in my yard!

I went to have a look. It was true! There were dollar bills, one hundred of them, taped all over that tree. There was also a note among them, “Thank you for your time, Mom. We love you.” Later, my children bought me tools, a sunflower stepping stone and gardening books.

That was three years ago. My garden’s now very pretty, just like I wanted. When I go out and take care of my flowers, I don’t seem to miss my children as much as I once did. It feels like they’ re right there with me.

I live in a city where winters are long and cold, and summers are too short. But every year now, when winter sets in, I look out of my window and think of the flowers, I’ll see next spring in my little garden. I think about what my children did for me, and I get tears in my eyes — every time. I’m still not sure that money grows on trees. But I know love does!

【推荐2】Since the very year I was born, South Jersey has been a part of me. Since both of my grandparents have lived in the area for many decades, my family has visited South Jersey yearly since 2014. Its warm and lively feel is very appealing to many families that are looking for an easy and fun getaway.

Every summer we pile into the car and drive four hours away to the Seaview Hotel and Club, a wonderful place which is located in Galloway. 20 minutes from the beach and board- walk （木板人行道）.The Seaview is enticing and quite inexpensive as well, which is perfect for any family. The rooms are neat, and the breakfasts are a real attraction, even to adults. I have always loved going down to their lovely outdoor swimming pool in the mornings and then ordering a lunch from The Coastal Grille, the hotel's main restaurant. The Seaview is really great, and somewhere else is even more exciting.

At the end of every day in South Jersey, my family always makes it an important goal to drive to the local beach and boardwalk. Ocean City is wonderful with great swimming, lots of pizza places, ice cream stands, and excellent rides and games.

After dinner, we always check out "Gillian's Pier," the impressive and exciting, yet small amusement area located on the boardwalk. It is lots of fun to ride on bumper car （碰碰车）and rollercoaster and to taste soft-serve ice creams and cotton candy. Next door, there is even a video arcade （游戏厅）, so overall South Jersey is your classic family summer vacation. 1 would definitely recommend visiting, even just for a weekend, someday.

【推荐1】During the 1930s, the Great War broke out. A 25-year-old American soldier, probably never thought that his life would change forever when he volunteered to go to France.

One night while the American unit was returning to the base after a bloody fight, Suleyman stumbled(绊倒) into the ground and noticed a bit of movement from the bush. Being stuck between two choices either its enemy or an animal, Suleyman found a five-year old girl from the bushes shivering(颤抖) with cold and utmost（极度的） fear. Due to the atrocity of the war, the girl was abandoned by her family and the whole village was killed.

During the war, it was impossible to find the child’s family so Suleyman took this little French girl under his wings and gave her an American name Flora which means like the flower. Soon, Flora became the apple of the eye of everyone living in the army camp.

For one and a half years, Flora and Suleyman became inseparable; however, every fairy tale comes to an end. When the war ended, Suleyman was sent back to USA, while Flora was put in an orphanage (孤儿院), the Normandy School, which was founded by the American government for orphaned French children to have an education.

For years, Suleyman always thought about Flora. When the French National Olympic Team was playing in the Summer Olympics in Los Angeles in 1984, Suleyman gazed（凝视） through the audience on TV, hoping to catch a glimpse of（瞥见） Flora, but he never could.

At the age of 85, Suleyman attended the 60th anniversary reception of the Great War where Suleyman shared his story with American and French officials. After hearing his story, a French journalist started to investigate（调查） the story, and all government files were read in detail. The moment the journalist helped dial the number, in tears, Flora said Suleyman was her hero, and everything came flooding back to her.

【推荐2】It’s hard to talk to dad sometimes. His silence about his feelings and thoughts made him mysterious and hard to see through. You could never break his hard shell and get to know him. And he seemed to want to stay that way too.

But a year ago when my relationship with my wife and career took a hit, I needed my dad to pull back the curtain so I could see him as real and accessible. I was facing serious problems, and I wanted to know whether he had faced them before and how he had found his way, because I felt like I had lost mine. In desperation, it occurred to me that sending an email might be the key, so I wrote him one, telling him about my regrets and fears, and I asked him to answer, if he felt like it.

Two weeks later, it showed up in my inbox: a much-thought, three-page letter. Dad, a 68-year-old retired technologist and grandfather of four, had carefully considered my message, and crafted a response. He mentioned his lost love, the foolish mistake he made in career and the stupid pride he had between him and his parents. He comforted me that “life will still find its right track despite many of its twists and turns.”

I closed the email and started to cry, because I wished I had opened up earlier but was grateful it wasn’t too late. I cried because at 33, in the midst of my own struggles, his letter instantly put me at ease. And I cried because in the end, it was so simple: I just had to hit “Send.”

We’ve since had many email exchanges. This increasing communication opened a door into his world. My problems haven’t been magically solved, but getting to know my dad better has made the tough stuff more manageable and life sweeter. It’s hard to talk to dads sometimes, but I’m glad I found a way to talk to mine.

【推荐3】"Everything happens for the best." My mother said whenever things weren't going my way. "Don't worry. One day your luck will change."

Mother was right, as I discovered after I had finished my college education. I had decided to try for a job in a radio station. One day, I wanted to host（主持）a sports program. I went to Chicago and knocked at the door of every station. But I got turned down every time.

In one station, a kind lady said my problem was that I hadn't got enough experience. “Get some work in a small station and work your way up," she said.

I went back home. I couldn't get a job here, either. Then my dad told me a businessman had opened a store and needed someone to help him. But again, I didn't get the job.

I felt really down. "Your luck will change," Mom said to me. Dad lent me the car to help me to look for the job. I tried another radio station in Iowa. But the owner, a nice man, told me he had already had someone.

As I left his office, I asked, "How can someone be a sports announcer if he can't get a job in a radio station?"

I was waiting for the lift when I heard the man call, "What did you mean? Do you know anything about football?" He put me in front of a microphone and asked me to try to imagine that I was giving my opinion on a football game. I succeeded.

On my way home, Mom's words came back to me, "One day your luck will change, son. And when it happens, you'll feel good because of all the hard work you have done." At that moment I knew just what she meant.