Emma and Ryan, a married couple, were driving to a friend’s house when Emma turned to Ryan and asked, “Would you like to stop for lunch?”
Ryan replied, “No, I’m not hungry yet,” and continued driving. Meanwhile, Emma sat quietly fuming (十分恼火) in the passenger seat. Ryan could not understand why Emma was unhappy. He had thought she was asking if he was hungry, but in reality, Emma was telling him that she was hungry and wanted to stop for lunch.
Misunderstandings like this often occur between men and women, even among people from the same culture. Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in the United States, has studied conversational rules.
In Emma and Ryan’s situation, Emma was making a request in the form of a question. Her style of talking is common for women. She needed Ryan to agree they were both hungry. So, Emma asked Ryan what he wanted. She was really telling Ryan what she wanted; however, Ryan did not understand this. If he had been hungry, he would have said something more direct, such as, “I’m hungry. Let’s have lunch.”
Tannen believes that most women grow up in a world where talk is used to express feelings. However, most men are raised differently and they tend to keep their feelings to themselves.
Tannen says, for men, talk is often used as a situation used outside the home to gain respect, to entertain and get attention, or to exchange information. This is why men communicate by making each other laugh, or talking about sport and work. These men do not always feel it is necessary to talk to feel close or to express their feelings. Women, on the other hand, are encouraged to speak about their feelings since this is a way to build relationships.
1. What can be inferred from Emma and Ryan’s story?A.Emma didn’t like Ryan. |
B.Ryan didn’t want to talk to Emma. |
C.Ryan didn’t want to eat with Emma. |
D.Emma wasn’t pleased with Ryan’s answer. |
A.Different cultures. |
B.Different characteristics. |
C.Different ways of communicating. |
D.Different educational background. |
A.talk less about feelings |
B.communicate more with others |
C.are more likely to become angry |
D.are better at building relationships |
A.Why women like to express feelings |
B.How men and women communicate |
C.Different ways of supporting a child |
D.Misunderstandings in social communication |
相似题推荐
【推荐1】My 17-year-old daughter went off to college and having her away from home brought back memories of watching Peter Pan when she was little. In the classic TV production, one scene in particular impressed me: when Mrs. Darling puts her children into bed. As she turns off the last of the night light, she takes one last look at the bedroom and says, “Dear night lights, protect my sleeping children.” As a mother, I know how much she loves her children.
It has been several weeks since we took our daughter to college and she seems to be adjusting well after a short period of homesickness. For us, though, it’s another story. Like most parents, I love checking in on my children at night. But now she’s gone, and I find nighttimes the hardest. I miss her most at night.
In my neighborhood, most of the parents whose kids are off to college are dealing with similar melancholy. My husband is filled with anxiety. One friend talked about getting this sick feeling in her stomach as she prepared for the college drop-off. We complained that many of us were too busy to truly enjoy being with our children while we had them.
For us moms, seeing Toy Story 3 only made the sadness worse as we watched the character Andy, who is the same age as our kids, say goodbye to his childhood as he prepares to leave for college. And it’s not just “first-time” parents like me. Two moms who have kids already well into college said the separation didn’t get any easier. “You feel like something has been taken away from inside you” said one of them.
I imagine things will get easier with time, especially as I see my daughter adjust to college life. Meanwhile, as I keep my cell phone close to me in bed and text my daughter goodnight and sweet dreams every night, I like to think that messages serve as a night light that keeps her safe.
1. The writer was deeply impressed by the scene in Peter Pan because ________.A.she watched the scene with her daughter |
B.the scene was very exciting and interesting |
C.the scene taught her and her daughter a good lesson |
D.the scene showed a mother’s deep love for her children |
A.realized she hadn’t done enough for her daughter |
B.often cried as she missed her daughter so much |
C.failed to have a good sleep every night |
D.didn’t get used to the change for a long time |
A.Happiness. | B.Sadness. |
C.Excitement. | D.Anger. |
A.To say good night to her daughter. |
B.To wait for her daughter’s calls. |
C.To wait for her daughter’s messages. |
D.To call her daughter any time. |
【推荐2】You have the ability to decide whether you are happy or not. Happiness is a choice.
You can’t depend on someone else to make you happy. That is a lesson I learned early in my marriage. I realized that I couldn’t rely on my husband as my source of happiness. I learned that my happiness depended on myself and not my husband’s actions. I learned that you have to choose to be happy.
You can choose your emotions. True happiness comes from within, and it can’t be forced by outside force. So how do you choose happiness? The same way, you choose to smile or choose to wear a certain outfit (一套衣服). You choose it because that’s what you want to experience in your life.
You want to buy a new pair of shoes so you choose a pair that you like and feels good. You wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes that you don’t like or that doesn’t fit well, right? So why do we keep choosing emotions and feelings that don’t make us feel good?
Choosing to be happy after you realize your anger has shown up (or even choosing to be calm) can be beneficial. We choose our feelings; no one else can do that for us. If we let others get to us, influence our emotions — we are giving them power over us. When others cause us anger or pain, we are giving them our power.
We need to keep our feelings in check(制约)and not to react(反应)immediately to what is thrown at us. We need to think our actions out instead of just reacting to what someone says or does.
Remember that we can always choose happiness. At first it will be difficult to just switch(使转变)your thoughts and feelings from anger, self-doubt, or fear to joy and happiness. But it is only a thought away. Don’t dwell on (细想)what happens to you unnecessarily but realize what is causing you to feel that way.
Realize that thoughts, feelings and emotions can change. Then move on and choose to be happy.
1. What’s the best title of this passage?A.Choose to Be Happy | B.Choose Your Friends |
C.Pretend to Be Happy | D.Find Emotions |
A.one can’t depend on someone else to make himself or herself happy |
B.balancing the relationship between husband and wife is an art |
C.she can depend on her husband to find happiness |
D.happiness can be influenced by outside force |
A.To offer advice on how to choose comfortable shoes. |
B.To use it as an example to illustrate(阐述)her point of view. |
C.To compare choosing shoes and choosing an outfit. |
D.To help move to the next paragraph easily. |
A.let others control our feelings |
B.react immediately to others’ words |
C.keep our feelings in check |
D.pay more attention to words than actions |
【推荐3】Each time I see a balloon, my mind flies back to a memory of when I was a six-year-old girl. It was a rainy Sunday and my father had recently died. I asked my mom if Dad had gone to heaven. "Yes, honey. Of course." she said.
"Can we write him a letter?"
She paused, the longest pause of my short life, and answered, "Yes."
My heart jumped. "How? Does the mailman go there?" I asked.
"No, but I have an idea." Mom drove to a party store and returned with a red balloon. I asked her what it was for.
"Just wait, honey. You'll see." Mom told me to write my letter. Eagerly, I got my favorite pen, and poured out my six-year-old heart in the form of blue ink. I wrote about my day, what I learned at school, how Mom was doing, and even about what happened in a story I had read. For a few minutes it was as if Dad were still alive. I gave the letter to Mom. She read it over, and a smile crossed her face.
She made a hole in the corner of the letter where she looped the balloon string. We went outside and she gave me the balloon. It was still raining.
"Okay, on the count of three, let go. One, two, three."
The balloon, carrying my letter, darted upward against the rain. We watched until it was swallowed by the mass of clouds.
Later I realized, like the balloon, that Dad had never let his sickness get him down. He was strong. No matter what he suffered, he'd persevere, hang on, and finally transcend this cold world and his sick body. He rose into sky and became something beautiful. I watched until the balloon disappeared into the gray and white and I prayed that his strength was hereditary. I prayed to be a balloon.
1. When the girl asked her mother if they could write to her father, her mother ______.A.found it easy to lie |
B.thought her a creative girl |
C.believed it easy to do so |
D.felt it hard to answer |
A.became excited |
B.jumped with joy |
C.started writing immediately |
D.was worried that it couldn't be delivered |
A.An incurable disease. |
B.An unforgettable memory. |
C.The failures her father experienced. |
D.The hard time her father had. |
A.An unforgettable experience | B.Fly to paradise |
C.The strong red balloon | D.A great father |
【推荐1】How to Deal with a Colleague who Keeps Challenging Your Views
It can be difficult to develop an environment of teamwork when you continually run up against a colleague who challenges your views.
If a co-worker habitually challenges your ideas in a group discussion in a confrontational manner, don’t engage him or get into an argument. Pause for a moment, look the colleague in the eye.
There’s a time and place for everything, including professional disagreements. If a colleague interrupts you or talks over you in an effort to contradict your point or insert (插入) his own opinion, gently remind him that you still have the floor. If the colleague is challenging something you say before you have a chance to address the point, note that as well.
Agree to respect each other.If a particular colleague has a long history of disagreeing with you, you might be able to anticipate his arguments or objections. Prepare rebuttals to address anything your colleague might throw at you.
A.Hold your ground. |
B.Ask for peace-making. |
C.This will help you support your own arguments. |
D.And ask him in a calm voice to repeat what he said. |
E.Here are the ways to deal with colleagues of this kind. |
F.Just find ways to make peace and communicate with your colleague. |
G.The bottom line is, colleagues are not going to agree with each other all the time. |
【推荐2】Someone once told me I was the most introverted (内向的) person he’d ever met. I took this as admiration. Who wouldn’t? The introverts in Susan Cain’s book Quiet don’t experience their inwardness in so self-congratulatory a way. Many of the introverts she meets in the course of this book pretend to be outgoing. Though some pretend well enough to make it, going along to get along in a country that rewards the outgoing, something precious, the author says, is lost in this pretence.
Cain’s description of introverted kids misunderstood and mishandled by their parents gives warning, for she rightly notes that introversion in children is in some ways threatening the adults around them. Her advice that parents should choose to view their introverted children’s social style with understanding rather than fear is well worth following.
However useful her observations and advice about introverted kids, Cain’s book is about adults, and to this population, unfortunately, she’s a whole lot less convincing. For one thing, her definition of introversion widens constantly; at the end of the book, it has expanded to include all that are “reflective, sensitive, serious, calm, modest.” This widening of the definition makes introversion so broad a category, including, basically, all that is wise and good, that it’s largely meaningless, except as yet another tool for promoting self-esteem (自尊).
Another problem with Cain’s argument is her assumption that most introverts are actually suffering from diffidence (不自信). This may be true in the environments that she knows best and appears to spend most of her time thinking about. Had she spent more time in other sorts of places and among other types of people, she would undoubtedly have discovered a world of introverts who are quite satisfied with who they are, and who feel that the world has been good to them.
Quiet is full of needless slogans: “Love is basic; gregariousness (合群) is selective.” “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting.” Such writing offsets Cain’s serious research rather badly. A quieter argument would have been much more effective.
1. According to the passage, the subjects of Quiet consider introversion as _____.A.an excellent quality |
B.a self-exploring tool |
C.an unsatisfactory personality |
D.a social skill |
A.doubtful | B.quite convincing |
C.partly right | D.misleading |
A.It ignores the value of the outgoing. |
B.It fails to realize introverts’ suffering. |
C.It fails to give introversion a proper definition. |
D.It ignores environments’ influence on one’s personality. |
【推荐3】It was the first day of spring here but it didn't feel like it. The COVID-19 epidemic (流行病)was sweeping the globe and everywhere there were feelings of fear and loneliness. "Social Distancing" had become the new norm. Here the schools had been closed, the restaurant dining rooms had been shut, and people had been told to work from home whenever they could. Even the sheltered workshop where my oldest son worked had been closed until further notice. People had made a run on the stores and large areas of the shelves were bare. On the news the numbers of the sick and dead continued to rise, It felt like there was a weight on the souls of everyone in the world.
My family were staying at home as much as possible and as I looked out of my window I wondered how long this crisis would last. It was then, however, that I saw something that lifted that weight off of my soul, made me smile, and made my heart feel happy again. On the street below my house there was an old friend of mine from high school who was a teacher there. With him was my younger son's former aide from the high school as well. They were delivering the school lunches door to door to the hungry children who were stuck at home. Watching them made me think of something everyone's childhood television neighbor, Mr. Roger's once said: "In the bad times, always look for the helpers."
I have no doubt that this crisis will pass as all the crisis before. But it is our choice on whether it brings out the best in us or the worst in us. Let it bring out the best in you. Use it to strengthen your faith. Use it to free yourself from fear. Use it to grow kinder, more giving, and more loving. Become a helper to all those in need and you will be a happy person today and in all the days to come.
1. Why didn't the author like the first day of spring?A.He had to work at home instead of at office. |
B.There was an epidemic everywhere in the world. |
C.There wasn't social distance between each other. |
D.His own company had been closed for a long time. |
A.Disappointed. | B.Confident. | C.Tense. | D.Doubtful. |
A.Staying together with his family. |
B.Talking with his old friend in the street. |
C.Watching a childhood television at home. |
D.Seeing someone delivering lunches from door to door. |
A.We are supposed to help each other in bad times. |
B.In good times we needn't do much to help others. |
C.We should ask more people to help us in bad times. |
D.It's not necessary for us to find helpers in bad times. |