How To Make Friends And Connect With People In Challenging Times
It can be difficult to make friends living in a big city, especially when you don’t know many people. Over years of experience and studying social skills, I discovered that it’s possible to make friends without even trying.
1. Be seen without trying to get attention.
You don’t have to say anything witty(机智的) or interesting to get people’s attention.
2. Use the power of listening.
There’s an interesting phenomenon that occurs when you listen to other people, they’ll keep talking. Just keep giving them good eye contact and show with your body language that you care.
3.
So often we think about what we can get out of others when we try to make friends, but that thinking needs to be flipped around. Try offering a piece of helpful advice or invite someone you just met to grab coffee or lunch with you the following week.
4. Always have 3 good stories to tell other people.
When you have at least a few stories to share with others, you’ll never run out of things to talk about.
5. Smile like there’s no tomorrow.
It may not be natural for some of us to smile, but a smile is one of the most attractive things that someone can display when they’re meeting new people.
| A．Think about these strategies as tools. |
| B．Remember to be as optimistic as possible. |
| C．If you see someone you know, smile or say Hi‖. |
| D．Think about what you can give to the other people. |
| E．Listening is an approach to building trust and likability. |
| F．There are just a few strategies that you have to use on a consistent basis. |
| G．All you have to do is place yourself in environments where people will see you. |
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【推荐1】Teenagers enter their adolescent years with a mixture of optimism, excitement and anxiety. Adolescence is a time when boys and girls begin to show greater independence from their parents. It is also a time when young people begin to develop the sense of individuality that will help shape their future identity as adults. In fact, showing independence and forming a unique identity are two of the most important developmental tasks that adolescents must finish in preparation for satisfying and productive adult lives.
It is not easy for parents or teenagers to go smoothly through this period. Adolescents want to be independent of their parents and make their own decisions. They often do not recognize their need for adults’ guidance and support.
However, some parents find it easy to keep the lines of communication open with an adolescent child. These parents are often noticed by the child as stable sources of positive influence, and the teen feels supported in his or her growing independence. Communication in such families characterized by mutual(互 相的) respect and the ability to freely exchange feelings and ideas. Parents who understand their teenager’s need for a reasonable measure of independence and individuality encourage their child's growth and achievements. This positive interest strengthens parent-child relationships. When adolescents receive parental approval and believe that parents really value their accomplishments, it creates a willingness to share other information about themselves.
Many parents find it difficult to have open communication with their child during the adolescent years. Some parents have difficulty understanding the changes their teenager is experiencing and pay little attention to his or her need to pull away from the family and make independent decisions. At the same time, some teenagers are so self-focused that they do not appreciate or accept their parents’ concern, and they are against all parental authority. In this case, frequent arguments may develop, and family life may become difficult. Parents and teenagers may separate from one another to avoid arguments, but this is usually a short-term solution that does not clear up the main problems.
A major long-term method is to help them develop more effective communication. This enables the family members to end their conflicts( 矛 盾 ) and to establish more harmonious and more satisfying relationships.
1. What’s the importance of adolescents’ independence from their parents?| A．It means they have a different identity from that in childhood. |
| B．It shows they can make decisions on their own. |
| C．It helps them to develop unique characters. |
| D．It prepares them for successful adult lives. |
| A．Parents approval for their children. |
| B．Teenagers’ need for parents’ guidance. |
| C．The possibility of talking about feeling freely. |
| D．Mutual respect between parents and children. |
| A．The reasons for the arguments between parents and adolescents. |
| B．Why some teenagers don’ t show respect for their parents. |
| C．What children wish for during their adolescent years. |
| D．The arguments parents and adolescents may have. |
【推荐2】Airplanes are known for "making" people sick. Fortunately, I've got the inside scoop on some practices that will keep you healthy on the plane and a head start on staying healthy during your travels.
Start taking immunity support products BEFORE you begin your trip.
Immunity support products come in a variety of forms. They are designed to prepare your body for physical stress by loading you up on the vitamins, minerals and antioxidants（抗氧化） that support great immune system functioning .
If your body is weak at the beginning of the trip, any germ or bacteria is going to have easy access to your system. Get those defenses in place a few days before travel and give your body the best chance to stay healthy.
Antibacterial wipes are your best friend.
Take a minute to think about that airplane. How many people are touching literally every surface with hands that have blocked a sneeze, been coughed into, held the handrail of the moving sidewalk?
Take along plenty of individually wrapped antibacterial wipes and use them everywhere. Wipe down the armrests, the seat belt buckle, the tray table and the remote control for the in-flight entertainment.
Wear slip-on shoes.
Many articles instruct passengers to wear socks on the airplane for comfort. However, if you walk down the aisle in your socks, or even worse, use the restroom, the bottom of those socks are going to pick up all kinds of dirt. So wear shoes when you move around on the plane! Let your shoes provide a barrier to whatever might be lying on the floor.
1. Why do planes easily make people sick according to the writer?| A．People lack practice to keep fit. |
| B．There are many bacteria on the plane. |
| C．People have too much entertainment during the flight. |
| D．People's immune system fails to work on the plane. |
| A．By wearing socks. |
| B．By stopping feeling stressful. |
| C．By blocking coughing with hands. |
| D．By taking some supportive products. |
| A．Advice on safety | B．A worthwhile trip |
| C．Stay healthy on a flight | D．Be careful of your flight |
【推荐3】How to refuse an invitation politely
Everyone has got an invitation to a party.
Be honesty but also kind. If you don’t want to go, be honest and tell the host you aren’t interested in this party.
Call after the party to ask how it goes. If you are invited to a party by a close friend, but you can’t go there, what can you do?
| A．But remember to be kind |
| B．Make a call ahead to explain. |
| C．Offer another time to get together. |
| D．Call him when the party is over to see how it goes. |
| E．However, sometimes you couldn’t or didn’t want to attend it. |
| F．Don’t embarrass your host by telling others about the invitation. |
| G．Set up an appropriate time to give the host an explanation. |
【推荐1】Do you know what to do if your friends are under stress (压力) and come to you for help? Here are some ways you can be there for your friend who’s having a hard time.
Go outside with your friends.
Nature helps reduce (减少) stress.
Help out at their home.
Doing housework like cooking or cleaning can make people more upset (心烦的) when they are going through a stressful time.
Think about what your friends really need. Don’t ask them to go for a trip if they need to get more sleep. Don’t encourage them to cut school even if you know that will help reduce their stress for the moment. It might be easy to be the friend who always supports everything.
Make them laugh.
You’ve heard “laughter is the best medicine”, haven’t you? It’s certainly correct.
| A．Listen to them. |
| B．Be a good influence. |
| C．Take a walk outside, or go for a bike ride. |
| D．You may know what your friends’ hobbies are. |
| E．So why not surprise your friends by bringing over dinner one night? |
| F．But more than support, they need someone to help them become better. |
| G．Generally speaking, laughter can help reduce stress and increase happiness. |
【推荐2】When my best friend and I were teenagers, our favorite place to hang out was the Hallmark store. If we had money, we would choose a perfect card for each other and then share tears or smiles depending on what emotion the words expressed. In those coming years we developed a friendship built on sincere feelings and we often found comfort in the words of a Hallmark card. I think it is perhaps since those years that I have become a greeting card collector.
The other day, while cleaning out the storage in my home, I came across the bag where I have kept greeting cards. They are the lasting messages that speak the meanings of my life. I pulled out a foolish-looking card. It has a stick drawing on the front that seems to be my portrait(肖像画), I laughed as I realized this is exactly how my oldest daughter saw her mum. Opening it up I saw a hand-drawn heart with eyes and a big smile. On the other side are some words “You are the best mum in the world!” This may be one card that Hallmark cards cannot compete with for it is a treasure more precious than gold. I can’t go back to where I’ve been but, from time to time, I can be taken into a welcomed memory trip.
These are the Hallmark moments of our lives. Words from once upon a time inspire us to appreciate the people in our lives who mean so much. When we sometimes have doubts, or when the world treats us unfairly, the encouraging words are there in black and white, sometimes drawn in a homemade stick drawing with a heart-shaped smiling face standing out from the rest.
Life is a Hallmark card when you care enough to send the very best.
1. What influence does the Hallmark card have on the author?| A．Finding her real hobby. |
| B．Becoming a greeting card donor. |
| C．Getting real friendship and comfort. |
| D．Learning to share the experience of making cards. |
| A．she often remembers her past trip |
| B．those cards are very meaningful for her |
| C．her daughter’s words moved her deeply |
| D．drawing herself on the cards is very meaningful |
| A．Because they make her full of thanks. |
| B．Because they are written in different colors. |
| C．Because they can help her overcome doubts. |
| D．Because they always inform her of the card collector. |
| A．Words on the cards | B．Collecting greeting cards is a hobby. |
| C．Life is a Hallmark card | D．Memory in the childhood |
【推荐3】In our meditation (冥想) group on Monday morning, one of the ladies asked if the group leader could take us through meditation to ease worries.
Later that day, I thought that I would reach out to her just to let her know that I was there for her. I must admit all sorts of reasons why I shouldn’t reach out came to mind, but I allowed myself to get rid of my weakness and sent an email anyway.
It was through one of those messaging type things that I could see the other person was reacting. I could see that quite soon after, the lady was writing a reply. However, she must have changed her mind and decided to give it up and not send it after all.
Anyway, 2 days later, this morning, she sent me a nice message which opened up a short talk about our past and present experiences and we found a common connection. In the end, I invited her to an online group where we could meet every Sunday just to connect and chat. She promised to join us. I knew that she was glad that I had reached out.
Afterwards, I realized that I did have a new friend. When I learned about her difficult life, I offered to help her get through difficulty. When I had problems, she was always there. What a real lucky thing is to step into someone’s life situation and come together with them on their journey. I always think it is the most pleasant thing in the world! I’m so thankful to have had a new friend today!
1. What can we learn about the lady on Monday morning?| A．She felt anxious then. |
| B．She was unfit for the group. |
| C．She turned to the author for help. |
| D．She was eager to have a new friend. |
| A．She ignored it completely. |
| B．She quit answering it halfway. |
| C．She took back the email she had sent. |
| D．She directly refused to answer the author. |
| A．To communicate regularly. |
| B．To replace the former activity. |
| C．To set up a commercial project. |
| D．To join the same meditation group. |
| A．A friend is easier lost than found. |
| B．A friend in need is a friend indeed. |
| C．A friend without faults will never be found. |
| D．A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody. |
Educational apps are becoming increasingly popular as a supplement(补充), and sometimes as an alternative
(替代物), to traditional education. Why? Well, for starters, it’s extremely convenient to learn on a pocket-sized device that you already carry around with you at all times. The best apps are also highly interactive and adaptive, coaxing you in and getting you hooked on learning.
But apps, just like textbooks and language lessons, are a medium through which a language can be studied. The way you use them will affect how successful you are. If you flick through a textbook and don’t dare say a word in your language lessons, you’ll make slow progress. The keen reader who repeats each exercise in the textbook and engages the teacher in the conversation will move ahead. So how do you ensure you get the most out of your app, and what should you consider before you install(安装) one?
Before that, a very quick introduction: I developed the following five points from my experience as both a language teacher and learner, and from working in startups in the field of language. I spent six years teaching in Germany and Spain as well as developing a video learning startup. However, I first came to language learning late. I started learning Spanish at 22, and was able to use Spanish and German freely by about 28. I’ve been using language apps for the last few years, and participated in two successful one-week challenges to go from zero to hero in Italian and French. If you’re interested, you can see the French challenge here.
So, just before downloading an app, here’s what you should think about…
1. We infer that Elon Musk is most probably __________.
| A．an app developer |
| B．a language teacher |
| C．a professor at college |
| D．an engineer and tech company owner |
| A．Causing you to get tired of learning. |
| B．Encouraging you to interact with others. |
| C．Making you keep learning the language. |
| D．Providing new leaning methods for you. |
| A．Doing exercise is important. |
| B．Different people learn differently. |
| C．Textbooks have become out of date. |
| D．We should use a language learning app correctly. |
【推荐2】Do you know a narcissist? If you think of your everyday acquaintances (熟人), who springs to mind as being a possible narcissist? Your housemate, who is too selfish and lazy to do her own washing up? Your sister, who has never left the house without full make-up on? Your partner, who cheated on you? But are these people actually narcissists? Well, maybe—but having these traits in isolation (孤立) doesn’t tell us much.
True “narcissism”is actually Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD), a real, diagnosable personality disorder, and there is a precise range of very specific behaviours that result from having it. A narcissist might be taking credit for other people’s work, using their partner as a domestic slave, and using their children as a way to gain admiration from others.
NPD is fundamentally a condition of low empathy (共情), where the person has a very limited ability to step into another person’s shoes and feel their pain or joy. This means that narcissists re late to people on a very different level to an empathic person. Essentially, they cannot deeply care about you, other than in the context of what you can do for them.
Confusingly, narcissists are usually able to pretend empathy. Actually, you may be able to see narcissists exploit people for their own gain. The narcissist you know may be taking advantage of different people for different things. Narcissists see people merely as objects, and their exploitation of others often tips into psychological abuse.
NPD is partly genetic, but it mostly results from how, as children, the person adapted to a difficult upbringing. As a child, the narcissist developed coping strategies which became “wired in”. At the core of every single narcissist is a feeling of low self-esteem (自尊) and shame. But these are feelings which a narcissist cannot bear, so they construct a false character that they hold up to the outside world to hide behind.
1. Who might be safely considered a narcissist?| A．A saleswoman who is casual about her clothing. |
| B．A colleague who submits a team’s work as his own. |
| C．A good friend who tells you a white lie occasionally. |
| D．A group member who is isolated from other members. |
| A．Relating to people on different levels. | B．Taking advantage of people’s mercy. |
| C．Showing sympathy for others. | D．Pressing ill beliefs on others. |
| A．NPD is most likely to develop among new-born babies. |
| B．Narcissists may be expert in covering their genuine feelings. |
| C．Narcissists can deeply care about others if they feel respected. |
| D．Narcissists withdraw from the outside world to seek inner value. |
| A．An online fitness log. | B．A practical science paper. |
| C．A professional health magazine. | D．A social psychology research. |
But while the wise have realized that they don’t need them, others—apparently including some distinguished men of our time—are spending total fortunes on them. Brands such as Rolex, Patek Philippe and Breitling command shocking prices, up to ￡250,000 for a piece.
This is ridiculous. Expensive cars go faster than cheap cars. Expensive clothes hang better than cheap clothes. But these days all watches tell the time as well as all other watches. Expensive watches come with extra functions — but who needs them? How often do you dive to 300 metres into the sea or need to find your direction in the area around the South Pole? So why pay that much of five years’ school fees for watches that allow you to do these things?
If justice were done, the Swiss watch industry should have closed down when the Japanese discovered how to make accurate watches for a five-pound note. Instead the Swiss reinvented the watch, with the aid of millions of pounds’ worth of advertising, as a message about the man wearing it. Rolexes are for those who spend their weekends climbing icy mountains; a Patek Philippe is for one from a rich or noble family; a Breitling suggests you like to pilot planes across the world.
Watches are now classified as “investments”（投资）. A 1994 Patek Philippe recently sold for nearly ￡350,000, while 1960s Rolexes have gone from ￡15,000 to ￡30,000 plus in a year. But a watch is not an investment. It’s a toy for self-satisfaction, a matter of fashion. Prices may keep going up—they’ve been rising for 15 years. But when fashion moves on, the owner of that ￡350,000 beauty will suddenly find his pride and joy is no more a good investment than my childhood Timex.
1. The sales of watches to young people have fallen because they______.
| A．have other devices to tell the time | B．think watches too expensive |
| C．prefer to wear an iPod | D．have no sense of time |
| A．people dive 300 metres into the sea |
| B．expensive clothes sell better than cheap ones |
| C．cheap cars don’t run as fast as expensive ones |
| D．expensive watches with unnecessary functions still sell |
| A．It targets rich people as its potential customers. |
| B．It’s hard for the industry to beat its competitors. |
| C．It wastes a huge amount of money in advertising. |
| D．It’s easy for the industry to reinvent cheap watches. |
| A．Timex or Rolex? | B．My Childhood Timex |
| C．Watches? Not for Me! | D．Watches — a Valuable Collection |
