I've noticed that conversations with my children have started to turn into something that I don't like. It could be my mistake. I don't always ______ before I open my mouth.

For example, my kids would call me to tell me about something that's been bothering them. Then, as soon as they are finished, I go into mom mode(模式). I can't ______ it. It's my default setting(默认设置).

"You should...", "Have you thought of...", "If I were you, I'd..."

"Mom!"

The meaning is clear—"Stop!"

I am the queen of unwanted advice. When I get one of my adult kids on the phone, I become a "teacher" on everything and anything, which I'm obviously not.

I want to be part of their lives. More importantly, I want to ______ them making mistakes that seem so obvious to me.

But they just want a listening ear and an open heart.

I'm ______ alone in this. Over lunch the other day, a friend told me that her son almost never listened to anything she said. "It's like talking to a ______," she added.

I know that feeling all too well. But I'm ______ —very slowly—that talking at is not the same as talking with.

Giving advice to children can be full of problems. Though we may see ourselves sharing the ______ of our years, they see something else. They see a controlling parent who hasn't ______ the fact that they are adults with their own thoughts and feelings.

They are not looking for any tips. What they are hoping for is a ______ place to talk with a person who loves and supports them no matter what.

Because of this, I've given myself the goal of becoming a better parent by being a better ______. It's not an easy task for parents like me who think they're just being helpful. But I'm determined, I'm strong.

Last year, some groups of students in their community(社区) made a survey about “How do people spend their free time?” The following diagrams(图表) show some results of it.

Roberta, Peter and Phyllis lived in a large house in London. Father worked hard in a government office. He was never angry and always ready for a game. Mother was almost at home, ready to play with the children, and help them do their home-lessons.

These three lucky children always had everything they needed: pretty clothes, good fires, a lovely playroom and a dog called James. They had a happy life, but they did not know how happy till the pretty life in the large house was over.

Peter had a toy engine and it broke. After dinner, Peter showed Father the engine. Father looked it over and promised to do it on Saturday.

At that moment two men came to see Father. Minutes passed. Father’s voice came out from the study, loud and angry.

More time passed. Then Mother came in and said, “Father’s been called away-on business.”

A week after their father went away, their mother said, “Now, we’re going to move to the country. A pretty little white house, called Three Chimneys.”

The family started packing: clothes, plates, candles and also tables and chairs. “We seem to be taking all the ugly things,” said Roberta.

“We’re taking the useful ones,” said Mother. “We’ve got to play at being poor for a bit.”

Peter said joyously, “I do like moving! I wish we moved once a month.” Mother laughed and said, “I don’t like moving!”

As she turned away, Roberta saw her face. She never forgot it.

“Oh, Mother,” she whispered, “how I love you! You are brave enough to laugh when you’re feeling like that!”

Then they took a train to Three Chimneys. No one knew how long they had been in the train when Mother woke them up.

They stood in the cold night air on the dark platform. At that moment they didn’t know how important the station and the trains would become to them. They didn’t know they were going to be the railway children.

—Taken from The Railway Children