When we try something new, we often think that feeling uncomfortable means we’re in a situation that’s too hard to deal with. Embracing (接受) these feelings of stress and nervousness as a part of learning instead of heading back could help encourage personal growth, suggests a new study.

In the study, over 2,100 people took part in some personal growth activities, such as taking improv (即兴表演) classes or expressive writing classes. In each activity, researchers told some people that their goal was to feel uncomfortable, nervous, or even upset. They were told that feeling uncomfortable was a sign that the activity was working. Other people weren’t told to embrace discomfort; instead, they simply paid attention to learning something or how they were developing their skills.

Finally, the researchers found that the people who were told to try to feel uncomfortable were more involved in their activities, felt more encouraged to keep doing them, and reported a greater sense of achievement compared to those who weren’t told to experience discomfort. For example, some improv students spent more time on stage, and some writers were more interested in using expressive writing in their diaries.

“Growing is often uncomfortable. People always see the discomfort that comes with growth as a sign that there’s a problem. However, we should consider it as a sign of progress instead of avoiding it,” say the researchers.

If we learn to be comfortable with discomfort, we will grow stronger and make progress. The first step is to view discomfort differently. Look at discomfort as a sign that we are improving our lives and experiencing growth. Then do instead of thinking. Rather than think about how difficult or uncomfortable a task might be, just do it. Whatever we do, try to go a little past that point when we start feeling like we want to give up or when we are uncomfortable and want to take a break: run one more minute or kilometer than last time or write one more paragraph.

No pain, no gain (收获). It’s true! When we push ourselves to grow, we will experience discomfort, but it will be worth it.

Having too many friends doesn’t sound like the kind of thing anyone should really worry about. After all, what can be wrong with having a wider group of people to hang out with?

According to the latest survey, the average (平均) number of friends people have on social media (社交媒体) is between 300 and 500. Research suggests that this number is actually higher for teenagers. Is it possible to maintain meaningful relationships with so many people, especially those you may never meet in person?

We are just one click away from making new friends on social media. This has led some people to question how honest the friendship is. For example, when I see that a friend has posted photos from his latest holiday on social media, I’d typically reply with a comment (评论) like “Wow, looks great!” even though it doesn’t. The unwritten agreement is that the next time I post, that friend will reply similarly, so I’ll feel better about myself.

Not long ago, I met someone who loved music as much as I did at a concert. We got along pretty well that evening, although the music was so loud! We even added each other on social media. Now, I see her photos on social media, and I “like” her photos, but I’m pretty certain that we’ll never meet up in real life.

It could be argued that this is just another example of how life has changed in recent years. We live in a time when we expect things to happen right away, so is it really all that surprising that the way we form friendships has changed? Perhaps it shows how social media has made friendships less honest, turning them into meaningless “adds” and “likes”.

Real friendships, on the other hand, take time to build. My most important relationships haven’t grown out of a few unimportant online conversations. It’s taken years of shared experiences to develop strong and lasting relationships. And these for me and I believe for most other people too are much more valuable and meaningful. It’s something that cannot be replicated on social media. No matter how many times you have “liked” a person’s posts, you cannot get the same result.

It has been said that technology is destroying our relationships with other people. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that. However, it seems that it has changed the way that we manage our friendships. But in the end, it’s up to us to decide how real and meaningful those friendships are.

If you ask any 12-year-old what their favorite time of the day is, they’ll tell you it’s lunch! But for Jason, it’s a bit different. He can’t wait to get home and start working on his candle-making business.

Jason began creating candles because the candles he bought gave his mom headaches. He was only eight years old at the time. He thought there must be a way to make a safe and all-natural candle. So, he set out to find a cleaner and more natural way to make a candle that his mom could enjoy. He was very interested in the process and the chemistry behind making the candles. Later, he found a kind of wax (蜡) that is chemical-free. He also found natural oils to add scent (香味).

With the support of his mom, he started an online store in 2020. His online orders began picking up. In the fall of 2022, he opened a store at a local shopping centre. Now people can buy his candles both online and at the store. The store also sells soaps which are made by Vicky, Jason’s little sister. She was inspired (鼓舞) by her brother to make her own handmade products.

Jason started his business to save money for his college education. But running a business is about more than making money for Jason. He also gave some money to the community. The community spent the money supporting the local homeless shelter (救助站) and helping the kids who needed a little help with college.

“My future goal is to help people around the world,” he says. His mother is proud of her son and loves to spend time with him as his business grows. She says it is really inspiring to see how his mind works.

Jason has a big goal and an even bigger heart. With all the problems that seem to stop many of us from moving forward, Jason has chosen to find a solution that works, not only for himself, but as an inspiration to others.