In the 19th century, there used to be a model of how to be a good person. There were floods of passion flowing through you. Your job, as captain of your soul, was to erect a dam to say no to laziness and greed.
These days that model is out of fashion. Knowing what to do is not the same as being able to do it. your will power is no longer like a dam.
The 19th-century character model was based on an understanding of free will Today, we know that free will is bounded. People can change their lives, but ordering change is not simple because many things are beyond our direct control.
Much of our behavior, for example, is guided by unconscious habits. Researchers at Duke University calculated that more than 40 percent of the actions we take are governed by habits, not actual decisions. Researchers have also come to understand the structure of habits- cue, routine and reward.
You can change your own personal habits. If you leave running shorts on the floor at night, that’ll be a cue to go running in the morning. Don’t try to ignore your afternoon snack craving. Every time you feel the cue for a snack, insert another routine. Take a walk. Their research thus implies a different character model, which is supposed to handle the neural networks inside.
To be an effective person, under this model, you are supposed to coolly examine your own unconscious habits. You are supposed to devise strategies to alter the cues and his is a bit disturbing, because the important habitual neural networks are not formed by mere routine, nor can they be reversed by clever cues. They are burned in by emotion and strengthened by strong yearnings.
If you want to change your life, don't just look for a clever cue. Commit yourself to some larger global belief.
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The meaning of silence varies among cultural groups. Silences may be thoughtful, or they may be empty when a person has nothing to say. A silence in a conversation may also show stubbornness, or worry. Silence may be viewed by some cultural groups as extremely uncomfortable; therefore attempts may be made to fill every gap with conversation. Persons in other cultural groups value silence and view it as necessary for understanding a person's needs.
Many native Americans value silence and feel it is a basic part of communication among people, just as some traditional Chinese and Thais do. Therefore, when a person from one of these cultures is speaking and suddenly stops, what may be implied is that the person wants the listener to consider what has been said before continuing. In these cultures, silence is a call for reflection.
Other cultures may use silence in other ways, particularly when dealing with conflicts among people or in relationships of people with different amounts of power. For example, Russian, French, and Spanish persons. may use silence to show agreement between parties about the topic under discussion. However, Mexicans may use silence when instructions are given by a person in authority rather than be rude to that person by arguing with him or her. In still another use, persons in Asian cultures may view silence as a sign of respect, particularly to an elder or a person in authority.
Nurses and other care-givers need to be aware of the possible meanings of silence when they come across the personal anxiety their patients may be experiencing. Nurses should recognize their own personal and cultural construction of silence so that a patient's silence is not interrupted too early 'or allowed to go on unnecessarily. A nurse who understands the healing value of silence can use this understanding to assist in the care of patients from their own and from other cultures.
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