1 . Some children are natural-born bosses. They have a strong need to make _________, manage their environment, and lead rather than _________. Stephen Jackson, a Year One student, “operates under the theory of what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine,” says his mother. “The other day I bought two new Star Wars Lightsabers (光剑). Later, I saw Stephen with the two _________ ones while his brother was using the old ones.”

“_________ the extended family, and you’ll probably find a bossy grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin in every _________. It’s an inheritable trait (遗传的特征),” says Russell Barkley, a professor at the Medical University of South Carolina. Other children who may not be particularly bossy can gradually gain dominance when they _________ their parents are weak, hesitant, or in disagreement with each other.

Whether it’s inborn nature or developed _________ at work, too much control in the hands of the young isn’t _________ for children or the family. Fear is at the root of a lot of bossy behaviour, says family psychologist John Taylor. Children, he says in his book From Defiance to Cooperation, “have secret feelings of weakness” and “a desire to feel safe.” It’s the parents’ role to provide that _________.

When a “bossy child” doesn’t learn limits at home, he is to face lots of troubles __________ the family. The overly willful and unbending (倔强的) child may have trouble __________ teachers and coaches, for example, or trouble keeping friends. It can be pretty __________ as the top dog because no one likes your bossy ways.

“I see more and more parents giving up their __________,” says Barkley, who has studied bossy behaviour for more than 30 years. “They bend too far because they don’t want to be as __________ as their own parents were. But they also feel less __________ about their own parenting skills. Their kids, in turn, feel more anxious.