2 . “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”---Albert Einstein

If you have a kid with special needs in the school system, you’re likely to have come across that saying hanging on a classroom wall. My five-year-old daughter Syona has cerebral palsy (脑瘫) and it means, combined with her communication and sight problems, that normal standard isn’t always an accurate measure of her abilities.

By now you have probably heard about Chris Ulmer, the 26-year old teacher in Jacksonville, Florida, who starts his special education class by calling up each student to give them much admiration and a high-five. I couldn’t help but be reminded of Syona’s teacher and how she supports each kid in a very similar way. Ulmer recently shared a video of his teaching experience. “I have seen their confidence increase rapidly.” he said. All I could think was: how lucky these students are to have such good teachers.

Syona’s teacher has an attitude that can best be summarized in one word: wonderful. Her teacher doesn’t focus on what can’t be done---she focuses on what can be done. Over the past several months, my husband Dilip and I have seen Syona’s confidence increase greatly. She uses words she wouldn’t have thought of using before. She recently told me about her classmates trip to Ecuador and was very proud when I understood her on the first try.

I actually wonder what the influence would be if we did something similar to what Ulmer does with his students in our home. We’ve recently started our day by reminding each other of the good qualities we all have. If we are reminded of our strengths on a regular basis, we will become increasingly confident about progress and success.

My mom only had one eye. I hated her. She was such an embarrassment.

She ran a small shop at a flea market, and collected old clothes and some other things to sell for the money we needed. Once during elementary school, it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed and wondered how could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ignored her. The next day at school, my schoolmates asked me, “your mom only has one eye?” and taunted me.

I was so angry with my mom and wished that she would just disappear from this world. So l said to my mom, “Why don’t you have the other eye?! If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock!” My mom did not respond, I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, I felt so good to have had said what I wanted to say. Maybe it was because I was full of anger then and there, I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

For the words I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty. I told myself that I would become successful in the near future and get out of that house for good, so I studied very hard. Later I got accepted by the Seoul University, I left my mother and came to Seoul to study. Then I got married there.

I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I am living happily as a successful man. I enjoy the life in Seoul because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom past. This kind of happiness was getting bigger and bigger, until one day someone knocked at my door. It was my mom! And still with her one eye! It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye.

I screamed at her, “Who are you? I don’t know you!”

After the funeral (葬礼), the neighbor gave me a letter saying, “My dearest son...