1 . Over the years working as a psychologist, I have found that the following habits seem to be the most important for developing a happier, healthier mind,

    1    
By nature, most of us are critical of our emotions—especially the difficult ones: You feel anxious and afraid and then immediately criticize yourself for being weak. Though something feels bad, it doesn’t mean it is bad.     2     When your muscles are painful after a good workout, your pain is a sign of growth and health. Sometimes pain is helpful. By avoiding it or trying to get rid of it, you could be making things worse on yourself.
Be realistic with your expectations.

When you create an expectation in your head—which is really just you imagining the thing you want to be true—it relieves some of that anxiety and uncertainty for the time being. But in reality, your expectations are merely fictions in your own mind.

Expectations have their place.     3     If you want a calmer and more peaceful mind, get into the habit of checking on your expectations regularly and make sure they aren’t too far outside of reality.

Practice compassion (同情) in your self-talk.

    4    When you’re too negative and particular about yourself, you turn normal embarrassment into intense shame; everyday depression into anger; ordinary sadness into desperation. If you want to start being kinder toward yourself, follow The Other Golden Rule:     5     The next time you feel bad, imagine that a good friend felt the same way and came to you for support and advice... What would you say to them?

A．Acknowledge your emotions.

B．Try to avoid painful emotions.

C．Negative self-talk worsens your emotions.

D．In much of life, pain is actually a good thing.

E．Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend.

F．But they may run wild and cause negative effects if ignored.

G．They teach your brain that your emotions are bad and dangerous.

2 . I was about 13. My father frequently took me on short outings on Saturdays. Sometimes we went to a park, or to a marina (码头) to look at boats. My favorites were trips to junk stores，where we could admire old electronic stuff. Once in a while we would buy something for 50 cents just to take it apart.

On the way home from these trips, Dad frequently stopped at the Dairy Queen for l0cent ice cream cones. Not every single time: just often enough. I couldn't expect it, but I could hope and pray from the time we started heading home to that critical corner where we would either go straight for the ice cream or turn and go home empty handed. That corner meant either mouthwatering excitement or disappointment.

A few times my father teased me by going home the long way. “I'm just going this wry for variety.” he would say, as we drove by the Dairy Queen without stopping. It was a game, and I was well fed, so we’re not talking torture (折磨) here.

On the best days he would ask, in a tone that made it sound novel and spontaneous, “Would you like an ice cream cone?” and I would say, “That sounds great, Dad!” I’d always have chocolate and he’d have vanilla. He would hand me 20 cents and I would run in to buy the usual. We'd eat them in the car. I loved my dad and I loved ice cream — so that was heaven.

On one fateful day, we were heading home, and I was hoping and praying for the beautiful sound of his offer. It came. “Would you like an ice cream cone today?” “That sounds great, Dad!”

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But then he said, “It sounds good to me too, Son. How would you like to treat today?”
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My father just said, “Okay, Son.”
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