Friendship
To help us understand what friendship really means, we need to review some classical views of friendship. According to Aristotle, we may find three kinds of friendship:
Friendship based on utility. Utility is an impermanent thing: it changes according to circumstances. When the ground for friendship disappears, the friendship also breaks up. Friendships of this kind seem to occur most frequently between the elderly, because at their age what they want is not pleasure but utility Friendships based on utility are also frequently found among those in middle or early life who are pursuing their own advantage. Such persons do not spend much time together, because sometimes they do not even like one another, and therefore feel no need of such an association unless they are mutually useful. They take pleasure in each other’s company only in so far as they have hopes of advantage from it.
Friendship based on pleasure. Friendship between the young is thought to be grounded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are regulated by their feelings, and their chief interests are in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. As they grow up, however, their tastes change too, so that they are quick to make and to break friendships. That is why they fall in and out of friendship quickly, changing their attitude often, even within the same day.
Friendship based on goodness. Perfect friendship is based on goodness. Only the friendship of those who are good, and similar in their goodness, is perfect. The conduct of good men is the same or similar. It is between good men that both love and friendship are chiefly found and in the highest form. Such friendships are rare and they need time and intimacy; for as the saying goes, true friends must go through trials and tribulations (患难) together. And no two persons can accept each other and become friends until each has proved to the other that he is worthy of love. and so won his trust. The wish for friendship may develop rapidly, but true friendship does not.
