1 . Do you think you need to shout at yourself to force yourself to finish your homework? If so, think again.    1     Research shows that practicing self-compassion (自我关怀) improves our mental and physical well-being and supports long-term success.

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and supportive to ourselves. The opposite is being self-critical and mean to ourselves when we make a mistake.     2     These negative responses are related to depression, stress and reduced quality of life.

A 2017 study found people who practice self-compassion tend to handle stress better. Their bodies have less of a stress response when, for example, they meet with difficulties at work or school.     3     Let’s say they do poorly on a geometry test. Self-compassion helps them use the experience to make changes going forward, like seeking out a math tutor.

    4     We can start with mindfulness. First of all, practice observing our thoughts — are they understanding or critical? Don’t judge ourselves too severely then. Rather than getting caught up in how we could have done better, forgive ourselves and think about what to change while remaining respectful, and loving to ourselves.     5     We can read a novel, play a musical instrument or kick around a soccer ball with friends.

With practice, we can learn to treat ourselves with kindness and unconditional love — not tough love.

2 . We have all heard that if you talk to yourself, you’re crazy,     1     According to research, talking to yourself in a positive way is actually very healthy for your mind

My first exposure to positive self-talk was reading The Little Engine That Could. Do you remember that book from your childhood? While trying to make it up a big hill, the little engine keeps saying to himself, “I think I can, I think I can.” And of course, he makes it.     2    

Positive self-talk is one of the most valuable tools you can use to keep yourself physically and mentally balanced. Many Olympic and professional athletes use it every time they practice or compete.

    3     My own personal favorite is “I’m okay”. Back when I was in the movie business. I used to work with the stunt (特技) team. I was told that one of their simple but effective secrets was to stay loose and talk to their body. I had the chance to try it out one day. My apartment was on the second floor of a duplex (复式公寓), and one rainy day I slipped on the top step and started falling over. Then I just kept telling myself, “I’m okay.”     4     There were only a few scratches (擦伤) on my legs. I believe to this day that it was the simple positive self-talk that helped keep me from being seriously injured.

Positive self-talk can also help you calm down from anxiety and feel less sad. There was a period of time when I felt upset. Every morning, I woke up and said to myself, “Hi, Barton. You’re going to have a good day today.”     5     When I did it throughout the day, fewer things would bother me, and I became friendlier to myself.

3 . Speaking of self-improvement, perhaps you want to become more productive, read more books, take regular exercise or learn something new.     1     Here we’ve put together this guide to help you.

Observe your emotional reactions.

Our emotions can often overwhelm (击败) us and make us behave in ways we’d rather not. The first step in dealing with your emotions is to recognize your current feelings.     2     You can sit for a few minutes each day and just observe how you feel.     3     However, learning to be with yourself without distractions is an essential part of meaningful self-development. You could be surprised by what you discover.

Develop a way to express your emotions.

Chris Martin, the singer-songwriter and frontman of the band Coldplay, once said, “You've got to express yourself in life, and it's better out than in. What you reveal, you heal.”

    4     You can try art, music and sports. Or you can get a piece of paper and a pen and start a healthy outlet. A talk with your close friend, relative, or partner can also help you get peace of mind.

    5    

Sometimes emotions can be overwhelming even if you undertake all other steps to manage them. In this case, the only left option is to find a therapist (治疗师). Many successful, respected people like J. K. Rowling, Emma Stone, and Michael Phelps all promote therapy’s benefits. Turning to these professionals is one of the best ways to improve yourself. These trained professionals can provide guidance and support when it comes to coping with your emotions.