1 . Popularization has in some cases changed the original meaning of emotional intelligence. Many people now misunderstand emotional intelligence as almost everything desirable in a person’s makeup that cannot be measured by an IQ test, such as character, motivation, confidence, mental stability, optimism and “people skills.” Research has shown that emotional skills may contribute to some of these qualities, but most of them move far beyond skill-based emotional intelligence.

We prefer to describe emotional intelligence as a specific set of skills that can be used for either good or bad purposes. The ability to accurately understand how others are feeling may be used by a doctor to find how best to help her patients, while a cheater might use it to control potential victims. Being emotionally intelligent does not necessarily make one a moral person.

Although popular beliefs regarding emotional intelligence run far ahead of what research can reasonably support, the overall effects of the publicity have been more beneficial than harmful. The most positive aspect of this popularization is a new and much needed emphasis (重视) on emotion by employers, educators and others interested in promoting social well-being. The popularization of emotional intelligence has helped both the public and researchers re-evaluate the functionality of emotions and how they serve people adaptively in everyday life.

Although the continuing popular appeal of emotional intelligence is desirable, we hope that such attention will excite a greater interest in the scientific and scholarly study of emotion. It is our hope that in coming decades, advances in science will offer new perspectives (视角) from which to study how people manage their lives. Emotional intelligence, with its focus on both head and heart, may serve to point us in the right direction.

2 . Do you have full confidence in your memory? There has been a discussion about whether it is shi or si in the sentence “Thus when Heaven is about to confer a great office on any man...” (“故天将降大任于是/斯人也”). Most people chose si as what they learned at school. However, People’s Education Press, a leading publisher of Chinese textbooks, claimed on Oct 26 that all its textbooks say shi.   

Supporters of si feel shocked and say they’ve experienced the “Mandela Effect” — the situation in which a large number of people believe that an event occurred when it didn’t. Many people believed that former South African president Nelson Mandel died in the1980s in prison. However, Mandela was alive and well, eventually passing away in 2013. US researcher Fiona Broome set up a website to explain her observation of this phenomenon first, coining the term.

Some often joke that our memories have been changed by a strange force. In fact, psychologists have looked into the reasons for the Mandela Effect, as reported on the US-based website Verywell Mind. For example, your mind may fill in gaps missing in your memory to make more sense of it, which is called confabulation (虚构症). However, try not to feel bad — this is not lying, but rather remembering details that never happened.

The Internet may be another reason why we have Mandela Effect events, as the news we read can be false from the beginning. In 2018, Science journal published a study of over 100,000 news stories discussed across Twitter. It showed that false news can spread faster and reach more people than the truth. As a powerful way to spread information, the Internet might be the main reason for falsehoods to enter our minds.

4 . A few years ago, my sister­-in-­law started to feel concerned about her teenage daughter.What was she doing after school?Where was she spending her time?My niece was an excellent student, and took part in all kinds of after­class activities.Even so, her mom decided to put a tracking (跟踪) app on the kid’s phone.

At first, this made my sister­in­law “feel better”．Then the good situation suddenly ended.She recalled,“I found out that she was someplace that she said she wasn’t.I went out in the middle of the night and found her walking without shoes in the middle of the street with some friends.”Things went quickly downhill for the mother and the daughter after that.

With 73% of teens having their own smartphones now, according to a   2018 Pew study, more and more of their parents are facing the question：To spy or not?

Ana Homayoun, founder of Green Ivy Educational Consulting, has advised many parents and their kids about this. “I’ve found teens are more receptive to tracking apps when it is included as part of a family use agreement to improve safety than when it is placed as a secret tool to watch them,” she said.

Mark Bell, a father of a teenage girl, said, “We don’t have tracking apps, but we have set some ground rules that my daughter must follow in exchange for providing a smartphone.” For example, his daughter must “friend” him on social media accounts so that he can review posts, and must share all passwords.

When you’re trying to build credence, you need to create an environment that encourages it. So, to win their trust, you always need to be straight with your children. “Parents must let children know how and when they’ll be watching them,” said Doctor Pauleh Weigle. If they’re not open about it, he warns, it can “greatly damage the parent and child relationship”.

7 . Social media is taking over our lives: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and now, TikTok. These social media platforms have changed from a way to stay connected to an industry where even kids can make money off their posts. While this may seem like another opportunistic innovation, it’s really full of hidden false realities.

The median income (中位收入) recorded in the United States of America was about $63,000 in 2018. TikTokers can make anywhere from $50,000 to $150,000 for a TikTok brand partnership, and TikTokers with over a million followers can make up to $30,000 a month—$360,000 a year. They are making more than the average person trying to feed their family and keep a roof over their heads simply by posting a 15-second video.

This is mad in more ways than one. Not only is it an overpaid “job”, it promotes undeserved admiration from viewers and a false sense of reality. Many of these famous TikTokers are still teens and the effects of fame at such an early stage in life might cause issues later in life, such as mental illness. Teens between the ages of 13 and 17 make up 27% of TikTok viewers, who can be easily influenced by what they are watching. They can put a false sense of self-value into who they look up to and what they represent: money, fame, being considered conventionally attractive.

While TikTok has become a great tool for marketing, it’s important to understand how this content affects young viewers. If we’re constantly consuming content that shows us all we need to do to be successful is be conventionally attractive and post a 15-second video featuring a new dance, it will challenge our knowledge of what really makes someone successful and will in turn affect our individual work ethnics (伦理). What about the people who miss birthdays and family holidays due to their jobs and aren’t getting paid nearly as much as these TikTokers?

Richard Colyer, president and creator of Metaphor, Inc, had his own view on this issue. “It sounds great that kids can make money for doing the latest dance moves in a 15-second video, but we should feed the minds of kids and not just their bank accounts. TikTok can be great if used properly. Money alone is not good; technology alone is not good and connectedness can be bad if it is only online.”

Again, as a fellow consumer of TikTok, I do enjoy the app when I have some time to kill and need a good laugh. I’m not against someone making a living on entertainment, but what does getting famous by posting a 15-second video teach young people?

8 . Shakespeare once wrote: “Neither a borrower nor A lender be;For loan (借款) often loses both itself and friend”. It’s often explained and used as a warning about the dangers of lending, and how you could risk a friendship through it. But why can lending money be so detrimental to our friendships?

If our friend or family member comes to us for hard cash, it can be very difficult to turn them away. You feel under pressure to help. And if that money doesn’t come back, it can lead to fights or even legal battles. So how can we, as the lender, avoid these problems? According to Bradley T. Klontz, an expert in financial psychology (心理学), there are some steps you can take.

Understanding why there is an unavoidable risk to lending anything to a friend is the first thing. And it’s not just the risk of losing the money, but the friendship could also be in danger. This is because, psychologically speaking, the action of lending has changed the balance of power. The lender becomes superior (高一级的), while the borrower may feel awkward with the new arrangement. Likewise, if you try to advise them on what to do with the money, it might make things difficult between you two. In other words, let go - and see it as their money.

And if you can’t afford to lend something, don’t. Saying “no” is hard when a friend comes asking, but if you need that money, refusing them is probably the safest course of action. If you still feel the need to lend, making a legally binding (有法律约束的) agreement and putting things down in writing could guarantee instalments (分期付款) or deadlines. But, some friends may not take too kindly to being asked to make it official - seeing it as a lack of trust.

Finally, for some, it’s best to just see the money as a gift and be pleasantly surprised if something comes back. And if you do want to keep your friendship, when you need to borrow some money, perhaps a bank is a better option.

9 . Today’s grandparents are joining their grandchildren on social media, but the different generations’ online habits couldn’t be more different. In the UK the over-55 s are joining Facebook in increasing numbers, meaning that they will soon be the site’s second biggest user group, with 3.5 million users aged 55-64 and 2.9 million over-65s.

Sheila, aged 59, says, “I joined to see what my grandchildren are doing, as my daughter posts videos and photos of them. It’s a much better way to see what they’re doing than waiting for letters and photos in the post. That’s how we did it when I was a child, but I think I’m lucky I get to see so much more of their lives than my grandparents did.”

Interestingly, Sheila’s grandchildren are less likely to use Facebook themselves. Children under 17 in the UK are leaving the site - only 2.2 million users are under 17 -but they’re not going far from their smartphones. Chloe, aged 15, even sleeps with her phone. “It’s my alarm clock so I have to,’ she says. “I look at it before I go to sleep and as soon as I wake up.”

Unlike her grandmother’s generation, Chloe’s age group is spending so much time on their phones at home that they are missing out on spending time with their friends in real life. Sheila, on the other hand, has made contact with old friends from school she hasn’t heard from in forty years. ”We use Facebook to arrange to meet all over the country,” she says. “It’s changed my social life completely.”

Parents have an important role to play if they want their kids to spend more time in real life. Peter, 38, who spends most of his time in front of a screen, is recently determined to set a better example to his kids. In the evening or at weekends, he would leave his smartphone home and take his kids out to nature.