1 . When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you focus on something you wish were different, and hear a critical inside voice?     1    . But if you are ready to be kind to yourself and willing to send that negative voice away forever, how do you begin? There are three steps to overcome our “negativity bias” (负面偏见).

1. Start with Mindful Awareness

Being aware of how you are treating yourself is really the first step.     2    . Use your actual name as you describe what you are doing, seeing, and feeling.

Then, instead of criticizing yourself, be curious about what you did and the reasons behind it. Remind yourself that you are doing the best with what you have. And pay your attention to the positive side of the situation.

2.     3    

We all are worthy of love and we need to show loving kindness to ourselves. That might seem awkward at first, but with a little practice, the process will become easier. Soon the positive feeling you receive from self-kindness will provide you with a sense of happiness.

One of the best practices to build up your self-kindness is called “Note to a Dear Friend”. When you are facing a challenge or difficulty, write a note to a friend as if they were facing the same problem.     4    . Then, take the note and change your friend’s name to your own.

3. Recognize That You Aren’t Alone

Not one of us lives a perfect life. Everyone faces challenges and makes mistakes.     5    . First, you get a little bit less lonely. You are not the only person suffering, and knowing that takes a weight off your shoulders. Second, it becomes a little easier to open up to others, and say, “I need help.” We don’t have to pretend that everything is great when it isn’t. It’s OK to take off our masks and let people know exactly how we feel!