1 . “Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention,” Frank Sinatra chanted in his 1969 hit “My Way”. The song’s idea is attractive: that anyone can just declare what’s done is done and move on. Some take the declaration a step further and claim they have no regrets at all. Whether a boast or an actual attitude, “no regrets” suggests that life can and should be lived without looking through the rear-view mirror.
Easier said than done, though. In 2020, author Daniel H. Pink launched the World Regret Survey, the largest ever survey on the topic. With his research team, Pink asked more than 15,000 people in 105 countries, “How often do you look back on your life and wish you had done things differently?” 82% said regret is at least an occasional part of their life; roughly 21% said they feel regret “all the time.” Only 1% said they never feel regret.
If you are of the “no regrets” type, you might think that all this regret is a recipe for unhappiness. But that isn’t the case. True, being overwhelmed by regret is indeed bad for you. But going to the other extreme may be even worse. To rid yourself of regrets doesn’t free you from shame or sorrow; it leads you to make the same mistakes again and again. To truly get over our guilt requires that we put regret in its proper place.
As uncomfortable as it is, regret is an amazing cognitive (认知) achievement. If today your relationship with your partner has soured, your regret might mentally take you back to last year. You would remember your being mean and sensitive, and then imagine yourself showing more patience, being kind instead of hurtful at key moments. Then you would fast-forward to today and see how your relationship could be progressing instead of languishing.
But regret doesn’t have to be left unmanaged. The trick is to acknowledge it and use it for learning and improvement. You can be honest with yourself about what went wrong and use that knowledge to enjoy better relationships in the future.
1. What should we do if we have had a bitter quarrel with a close friend according to Frank Sinatra?| A．Attract more people to your argument. |
| B．Send him/her a letter of apology. |
| C．Boast about being more reasonable. |
| D．Forget about it and just let it go. |
| A．We can do nothing about regret. |
| B．Unhappiness results from regret. |
| C．Ignoring regrets is missing the opportunity to improve. |
| D．Ridding yourself of regrets helps free you from sorrow. |
| A．Improving. |
| B．Healing. |
| C．Showing up. |
| D．Breaking up. |
| A．Regret to become smarter-if you let it. |
| B．Long for a different past? Regret it! |
| C．Regret? Not my way! |
| D．Stay away! Regret will heal itself. |
