1 . Nobody enjoys failing.     1    . It’s part of our human DNA. When things didn’t go as planned, nearly all of us feel afraid. Here are some ways to help you overcome fear of failure.

Figure out where the fear comes from.

Ask yourself what the root cause of your negative belief could be. Write down where you think the fear comes from, and try to understand it as an outsider. If it helps, imagine you’re trying to help one of your best friends. Perhaps your fear comes from something that happened in your childhood, or a deep-seated insecurity.     2    .

Learn from whatever happens.

    3    , but that doesn’t automatically mean you’ve failed. Learn from whatever arises. Even a less than ideal situation can be a great opportunity to make changes and grow. Dig deep enough, and you’re bound to find the silver lining. When you’ve learned that “failure” is an opportunity for growth instead of a death sentence, you conquer the fear of failure.

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In many cases, you believe what you tell yourself. Your internal dialogue affects how you react and behave.     5    . Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper because they thought he lacked creativity. He went on to found an animation studio that failed. He never gave up, and now Disney is a household name. Steve Jobs was also once fired from Apple before returning as the face of the company for many years. If Disney and Jobs had believed the negative feedback, they wouldn’t have made it. The voice inside your head has a great effect on what you do.

4 . Self-forgiveness has been defined as the process by which you become aware of any damage you’ve caused, seek to repair it, and eliminate or reduce your feelings of self-condemnation and guilt.

Forgiving yourself entails experiencing feelings of self-condemnation.     1     However, you must be careful not to confuse self-forgiveness with self-indulgence, self-deception, and narcissism. Forgiving yourself, on the other hand, means reestablishing your self-concept, rejoining your recognized path, and amending your mistakes.

Self-forgiveness involves changing the way you think about your past mistakes. It’s of vital importance to stop interpreting them as sources of shame and regret.     2     In reality, relating in a healthier way with your past is essential to recognize and value your changes and to help your personal growth.

    3     In order to forgive yourself, you must, first of all, recognize your mistakes in the situation that’s causing you to feel guilty. From there, you can clearly express your will to repair the damage and to empathize with those who’ve been affected by your actions.

The ability to forgive yourself also implies your firm belief that change is possible.     4     As a matter of fact, it simply means you’re aware of it. In addition, you’re aware of the importance of identifying what you can change in yourself to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future.

Finally, the last dimension of self-forgiveness is the awareness that you’re only human, hence, not perfect. Consequently, you’re capable of failing at any point in your life. Recognizing yourself as part of humanity can also help you to be more compassionate towards others.     5    

7 . How to Learn from Your Regrets

Regret’s benefits don’t come to us by chance.     1     . Here are three steps you can take the next time you find yourself thinking carefully about your past missteps.

Kill the ghost (鬼魂).

People often say their regrets keep coming to their mind. This suggests that regret is like a ghost. Bring your ghost out of the shadows by making a list of your regrets. Write down why each one still bothers you and its bad effects.     2    .

Forgive yourself.

    3    , but sometimes you just can’t stop blaming yourself. Perhaps you dropped out of school decades ago and are constantly calculating today how much money you would be making if you had pressed on to graduation. Now is the time to declare: “I will not waste my life reliving a decision that cannot be changed.”

Collect your diploma.

Regret is like a school run by human nature. If you never experienced regret, you would keep repeating the same behaviors that led you to miss opportunities.     4    . Next. list all the ways that you can invest in your own skills and improvement right now — and get started.

Regrets may hurt.     5    , while trying to live without them is a lost opportunity to grow. Life is a journey full of pleasures and pains. To live it well and fully means learning from every bit of it, including the mistakes, and moving forward.

8 . Emotional regulation (情绪管理) is taking any action that changes the intensity of an emotional experience.     1    . It refers to the ability to effectively control our emotions through various approaches. We are expected to manage our emotions in ways that are socially acceptable. There are a number of skills that can help us self-regulate our emotions.

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Emotions happen fast. We don’t think “now I will be angry” — we just suddenly have fires in our eyes and become extremely angry. So the number one skill in regulating difficult emotions is to pause. Take a breath. Slow down the moment between trigger (触发) and response.

Noticing what you feel

An equally important skill involves the ability to become aware of what you’re feeling. Dr. Judson Brewer, MD Ph. D. recommends practices for becoming more curious about your own physical reactions. In what parts of your body are you noticing feelings? Is your stomach upset? Is your heart racing?     3    . Looking into what is happening to you physically can also draw away your focus and reduce the intensity of the emotion.

Naming what you feel

After noticing what you feel, the ability to name it can help you get control of what is happening. Ask yourself: What would you call the emotions you’re feeling? Is it anger, sadness, or disappointment?     4    .

Accepting the emotion

    5    . Rather than beating yourself up for feeling angry or scared, recognize that your emotional reactions are acceptable. Try to practice self-sympathy and give yourself respect. Recognize that experiencing emotions is a normal human reaction.

9 . According to a Gallup World Poll, 1.1 billion people want to move temporarily to another country in the hope of finding more profitable jobs. An additional 630 million people would like to move abroad permanently.

The global desire to leave home arises from poverty and necessity, but it also grows out of a belief that such mobility is possible. People who hold fast to this universal ________ assume that individuals can and should be feel at home anywhere in the world and that they need not be ________ to any particular place. This view was once regarded as a negative product of the industrialization but is now accepted as central to a(n) ________ economy.

It leads to opportunity and profits, but it also has high ________ costs. According to a long research into the emotions and experiences of immigrants (移民) and migrants, many people who leave home in search of better prospects can’t avoid feeling ________ although few speak openly of the substantial pain of leaving home.

Such tolerance of emotional suffering became common among mobile Americans in the 20th century, and represented a(n) ________ from the past. In the 19th century, Americans of all groups, pioneers, soldiers and the millions of immigrants who streamed into the nation, loudly complained that moving was emotionally ________. Medical journals explored the condition, often referring to it by its clinical name: nostalgia (思乡).

Today, discussions of nostalgia are rare, for the emotion is typically regarded by individuals as an embarrassing block to progress and prosperity. The ________ makes mobility appear misleadingly easy.

Technology also tricks us into thinking that mobility is ________. The comforting vision of ________ offered by technology makes moving seem less consequential, since “one is always just a mouse click or a phone call away”.

But such a claim was ________ optimistic, for homesickness continued to hurt many who migrated. The ________ that phone calls and the Internet provide means that those away from home can know exactly what they are missing the exact moment and how it is happening. It gives the impression that one can be in two places at once but it also highlights the ________ of that assumption.

The persistence of homesickness points to the limitations of the universal philosophy that strengthens so much of our market and society. The idea that we can and should feel at home any place on the globe is based on a worldview that celebrates the independent, mobile individual and takes it for granted that men and women are easily separated from family, from home and from the past. But this view isn’t ________ our emotions, for our attachment to home, although often ________, is strong and enduring.