Romantic Attraction
Sometimes, it seems we are attracted towards people romantically in a puzzling manner. We see someone and our romantic side bursts out. However, it is not a mystery to science and people who study sociology. There are definite causes as to why people become romantically attracted to each other. These factors are, similarity, communication, and honesty.
Though people often say opposites attract, similarity often connects individuals in a romantic way. In fact, based on research done by the University of Colorado Boulder, we tend to choose partners who have a similar DNA to ours. Of course we cannot examine the DNA of others readily, but we can naturally “feel” if people are a genetic match for us.
Communication is another essential factor in the romantic attraction way. If we feel a deep connection to someone through the ease of talking with them, we are much more likely to be attracted to that person. It is difficult to be romantically involved with someone you can barely communicate with. And as a side note, there are people we are not attracted to each other in appearance, but after communicating with them for some time, we suddenly become romantically interested in them.
Friends often connect through noticing the honesty of others, but this also lends to romantic attraction. According to Kelly Campbell, PhD, “Chemistry occurs most often between people who are down-to-earth and sincere. This is because if a person is comfortable with themselves, they are better able to express their true self to the world, which makes it easier to get to know them, even if perspectives on important matters differed”. This adds to the perspective that easy communication between people contributes to romantic attraction.
Building a lasting social relationship
We all know that friends are special people who we share our lives with, and who share their lives with us in return. But seeking friends and keeping the friendship going are never easy.
According to research recently published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the key is to use “we-talk”.
Led by University of California psychologist Megan Robbins and her colleagues, the researchers reviewed and analyzed 30 different studies involving over 5,000 participants. This analysis of "we﹣talk" suggested that the frequent use of "we" and "us" is linked to happier and healthier relationships．The word “we” moves people from an individual position into a partnership, which makes us more interdependent. “The Pronouns offer an insight into whether people see themselves as individuals or as part of a whole.” Robbins told Science Daily.
Their research also found that "we﹣talk" is helpful for resolving conflicts．The primary point is that interdependence may bring about supportive and relationship-centered behaviors and positive perceptions of the partner – especially important in times of stress and disagreement.
Contrary to “we-talk”, there is “I-talk”, which refers to the frequent use of first-person singular pronouns, such as “I”, “me” and “mine”, when writing or speaking. Earlier this year, researchers analyzed a set of data that came from 4,700 people in Germany and the US. They found that too much "I﹣talk" was an accurate linguistic marker for the likelihood that someone is feeling stressed or experiencing negative emotions．
As you can see from the two studies, too much “I-talk” can make you feel depressed. But “we-talk” can encourage you to become more positive and create a ripple effect of healthy interdependence with others. So next time you’re talking to a friend, try using more “we-talk”. You may find yourself feeling more positive – and the effect it will have on your friend will be positive as well.
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If someone you know asks you nosy (爱管闲事的) questions, then you are not obliged to answer if you don’t want to. Here it is more important that you have some polite brush-off (拒绝), but it is still not rude for you to refuse.
If you think they shouldn’t have asked the question like ‘How much money do you earn?’, then I strongly recommend looking very shocked and saying ‘I can’t believe you just asked me that!’ and either leaving them to get out of it or moving on yourself to another subject. If they try to press you by saying ‘I was just interested…’. Then you can keep the shocked look and say ‘I’ m not telling you that with as much emphasis as you like on the ‘you’.
But what if the question isn’t quite so unforgivable? Then you need a more smiling response: ‘I can’t possibly tell you that’ or ‘I’m not telling anyone that’ or ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’ But you must stand firm, because otherwise they’ll never learn and will keep expecting you to tell them your innermost secrets. There is certainly never any need to tell your secrets just because someone else told theirs.
There are questions that seem perfectly reasonable- ‘Are you planning to move?’, ‘Are you going to go back to work?’, ‘Are you going on holiday this year?’-but if answered truthfully might lead to unexpected revelations of something bad. Here you are free to tell white lies and say ‘We don’t know/ haven’t decided yet/ haven’t really thought about it’. Looking vague and changing the subject is the key here. If the question was reasonable, then it’s polite to embarrass the asker as little as possible-they were probably only making conversation in the first place.
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According to an official report on youth violence.“In our country today, the greatest threat to the lives of children and adolescents is not disease or starvation or abandonment, but the terrible reality of violence.”Given that this is the case, why aren’t students taught to manage conflict the way they are taught to solve math problems, drive cars, or stay physically fit?
First of all, students need to realize that conflict is unavoidable. It is reported that most violent incidents between students begin with a relatively minor insult. For example, a fight could start over the fact that one student eats a peanut butter sandwich each lunchtime. Laughter over the sandwich can lead to insults, which in turn can lead to violence.
If the conflict occurs, students can practice the golden rule of conflict resolution: stay calm.
Once the student feels calmer. Once the student feels calmer. He or she should choose words that will calm the other person down as well. Rude words and accusations only add fuel to the emotional fire while soft words can put out the fire before it explodes out of control.
After that, they can use another key strategy for conflict resolution. Listening allows the two sides to understand each other. One person should describe his or her side: and the other person should listen without interrupting. Afterwards, the listener can ask non-threatening questions to clarify the speaker’s position. Then the two people should change roles.
Finally, students need to consider what they are hearing. An argument doesn’t mean trying to figure out the fault of the other person but means understanding what the real issue is. As the issue becomes clearer, the conflict often simply becomes smaller.(280 words)
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The high school prom is the first formal social event for most American teenagers. It has also been a ceremony of passage for young Americans for nearly a century.
The word “prom was first used in the 1890s, referring to formal dances in which the guests of a party would display their fashions and dancing skills during the evening’s grand march. In the United States, parents and educators have come to regard the prom as an important lesson in social skills. Therefore, proms have been held every year in high schools for students to learn proper social behavior.
The first high school proms were held in the 1920s in America. By the 1930s, proms were common across the country. For many older Americans, the prom was a modest, home-grown affair in the school gymnasium. Prom-goers were well dressed but not fancily dressed up for the occasion: boys wore jackets and ties and girls their Sunday dresses. Couples danced to music provided by a local music band or a record player. After the 1960s, and especially since the 1980s, the high school prom in many areas has become a serious exercise in too much consumption, with boys renting expensive tuxedos and girls wearing designer gowns. Expensive cars were hired to drive the prom-goers to expensive restaurants or discos for an all-night entertainment.
Whether simple or abundant, proms have always been more or less unpleasant events for adolescents who worry about self-image and fitting in with their fellow teenagers. Prom night can be a dreadful experience for teens who are not good at social skills or for those who do not secure dates. Since the 1990s, alternative proms have been organized in some areas to meet the needs of particular students. For example, proms organized by and for homeless youth were reported. There were also “couple-free proms to which all students are welcome.
To Friend or Unfriend
Social networking makes it very easy to have friends – lots and lots friends. Hundreds or millions of people have joined QQ, Wechat, and other sites so that they can communicate with friends online. However, the meaning of the word “friend” seems changed. In the past, a friend was someone you had a close personal relationship with. Now, anyone in the world can be your friend online! Some people have thousands of cyber friends, but what do you do if you don’t want to have so many friends?
Easy! You can dump an unwanted friend with just one click of your mouse. in recent years, it has become so common to get rid of friends in this way that there is a new word to describe it – to “unfriend”. The new Oxford American Dictionary named it word of the Year in 2009 and defined it like this: “to remove someone as a ‘friend’ from social networking site”. But why would you want to do such a thing as unfriending someone?
The most common reason for unfriending someone is to eliminate annoying people from your social life. For example, some friends post messages much too frequently, especially those messages found to be extremely boring. They endlessly post status updates which say something like “I’m cooking dinner” or “I’m doing homework”. Another reason for unfriending someone is disagreement about world issues. A third reason is to get rid of people who write dirty things on social websites.
Although dumping friends is not just an Internet phenomenon, far more online friendships end suddenly than off-line ones. Even in this computer age, it remains true that many people prefer spending time together face-to face. After all, that’s what friends are for!
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Gossip
“Did you hear what happened to Adam Last Friday?” Lindsey whispers to Tori.
With her eyes shining, Tori brags, “You bet I did, Sean told me two days ago.”
Lindsey and Tori aren’t very different from most students here at Linton High School, including me. Many of our conversations are gossip and I have noticed the effects of gossip.
An important negative effect of gossip is that it can hurt the person being talked about. Usually, gossip spreads information about a topic—breakups, trouble at home—that a person would rather keep secret. The more embarrassing the secret is, the juicier the gossip it makes. Probably the worst type of gossip is the absolute lie. People often think of gossipers as harmless, but cruel lies can cause pain.
If we know that gossip can be harmful, then why do so many of us do it? The answer lies in another effect of gossip: the satisfaction it gives us. Sharing the latest rumor can make a person feel important because he or she knows something that others don’t. Similarly, hearing the latest rumor can make a person feel like part of the “in group”. In other words, gossip is satisfying because it gives people a sense of belonging or even superiority.
Gossip also can have a third effect: it strengthens unwritten rules about how people should act. Professor David Wilson explains that gossip is important in policing behaviors in a group. For instance, if everybody you hang around with is laughing at what John wore or what Jane said, then you can bet that wearing or saying something similar will get you the same kind of negative attention. The do’s and don’ts conveyed through gossip will never show up in any student handbook.
The effects of gossip vary depending on the situation. The next time you feel the urge to spread the latest news, think about why you want to gossip and what effects your “juicy story” might have.
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