1 . How To Stop Bein g A People Pleaser

As a recovering people pleaser, I spent much of my life keeping others happy. Breaking this habit meant stepping on a few toes. However, I’ve become a happier person as a result. Here are some tips I used to stop being a people pleaser.

Identify your priorities. Take a moment to think about why you are trying to learn how to stop being a people pleaser.     1     Why do you feel the need to keep them happy? Answering these questions will help you set a goal that you can hold yourself accountable to.

Just say “no”. One reason why people pleasers say “yes” to everything is that they fear disappointing others.     2     If you are a people pleaser, you are likely to spend lots of energy trying to control how people feel about you. The best thing you can do is let them feel their feelings. It will feel liberating to free yourself from being responsible for someone else’s reaction.

    3     Saying “no” is a good way to set better boundaries in your important relationships. All healthy relationships have their own boundaries. If you haven’t set boundaries in your relationships, the odds are that at some point you will end up feeling pressured to do something you don’t want to do.

Accept yourself. Many people pleasers are insecure about who they are.     4     Check out our summary of Brené Brown’s the Gifts of Imperfection to learn how to accept your imperfections and love yourself.

Remember that you cannot please everyone. No matter what you do there will always be someone who is unhappy with your choices.     5    

A．Learn to set healthy boundaries.

B．Don’t mix up your boundaries with others’.

C．Who are the people that you feel the need to please?

D．Spend some time learning to love yourself for who you are.

E．So why bother trying to please everyone if it isn’t possible?

F．But saying “no” is the best way to take care of your own needs.

G．That is why the more you seek security, the less of it you have.

2 . As a professional life and relationship coach, Allison Cowan has over 21 years of experience in teaching and supporting others to achieve their goals. She has dedicated her career to helping her clients gain power and awareness in their lives.

As a coach, Allison inspires her clients to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. However, her practice has come with its own share of challenges. Expanding her knowledge to meet diverse client needs has involved lots of trial-and-error searching.

Initially, Allison spent a hard time building strong and trustworthy relationships with her clients. She knew trust was critical to finding and retaining clients but was frustrated at how long the trust-building process takes.

Allison soon learned that there was no single right way to coach. To meet her clients’ different needs, she needed to become more efficient at supporting their diverse learning styles. To overcome her challenges as a coach and offer better service, she began looking for ways to customize her coaching solutions.

During her search, Allison realized Positive Psychology is a field with many different goals. “It covers so many areas, including whatever a client may go through,” she recalled. Later, she began using self-reflection tools to help her clients develop self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. She even discovered a way to help clients without a coaching goal find their purposes. She said, “There’s a lot of blame. The more they stay in blame mode, the more angry they are, and they are not able to move forward with acceptance and forgiveness. But we can find solutions in Positive Psychology.”

Whether Allison was helping clients build self-confidence, understand their attachment styles, or reframe their challenges, she quickly found that she was also learning all the time. By completing the homework Allison assigned to them, her clients were also changing. They were more engaged with their coaching and making more significant progress between their sessions. That made Allison proud. She said, “They grow and move forward at a quicker pace. That’s what coaching is about.”

1. Why is Allison’s initial trouble mentioned in the text?

A．To show her special efforts.	B．To stress her defeated career.
C．To prove the difficulty in coaching.	D．To give the reason for setting goals.

2. What did Allison do to serve her clients better?

A．She used the same coaching ways to teach them.

B．She coached them according to their own needs.

C．She tried her best to change their learning styles.

D．She helped them overcome their challenges in life.

3. What’s Allison’s attitude to Positive Psychology?

A．Doubtful.	B．Unclear.
C．Supportive.	D．Dismissive.

4. What can we learn from the last paragraph?

A．Allison’s clients misunderstood what coaching is about.

B．Allison learned to build self-confidence all the time.

C．Allison’s clients helped her complete homework.

D．Allison and her clients benefited each other.

3 . 阅读下面材料，在空白处填入适当的内容(不多于3个单词)或括号内单词的正确形式。

Do you know how to be street smart? Being street smart means    1     (know) how to keep    2     (you) safe from strangers when you are alone or with other kids. Whether you are walking to school, hanging out in the playground,     3     riding your bike in your neighborhood, being street smart    4     (help) you stay safe. When you are street smart, you know your way around, you know what to do in difficult    5     (situation) and you are able to “tread” people.

Imagine there is a baby walking around alone.     6    baby couldn’t understand a “Don’t Walk” sign, wouldn’t know where    7     (go) for help, and couldn’t find the way back home. What’s more, the baby might not know good people from bad people. She/ He would be    8    danger.

Thank goodness, you are not a baby anymore! You know your way around and you know the rules of the road. The    9     (hard) thing to learn is how to deal with strangers. But if you learn and follow safety rules all the time, such as not to talk to strangers, you can be    10     (real) street smart.

4 . How to Become a More Social Person

Socializing is generally considered a pleasant and leisurely activity.     1     Here are some ways to help you become a more social person over all.

Smile. Everybody wants to be around people who are happy and excited about life.     2     Not only will it instantly make you feel better, but it will also make other people want to be around you, talk to you, and get to know you. A study shows that smiling can help improve your mood and make it easier for you to interact with others.

    3     If you are at a party or other social gatherings, make sure your body language says that you want to be approached. Make eye contact with people, give them a nod, and look straight ahead instead of at your feet or the floor, which will make other people more likely to come up to you.

Be genuine.     4     Being fully engaged not only shows that you are friendly, but it also makes for more stimulating and fulfilling interactions with others. Avoid texting or talking on the phone when you are in the middle of a conversation, especially if the subject matter is important.

Ask people questions about themselves. Let’s face it. People love talking about themselves. And if you want to be more social and start talking to people more, then show your interest in people by asking how their day is going, how they’re feeling, and what they have coming up.     5    

A．Say something nice.

B．Don’t ask private questions.

C．Have welcoming body language.

D．However, various anxieties can make it hard to interact with others.

E．Even if you don’t always feel happy, force yourself to smile now and then.

F．When talking with somebody, always show a sincere interest in the conversation.

G．They will show you want to open up and are waiting for people to get you talking.

5 . According to Jaime Roberts, good consulting is often about loosening the body, opening the mind and, more often than not, keeping the mouth shut.

Your body language matters

Jaime Roberts has been one of my go to experts for advice for decades. When I once asked her why she was so good at consulting, she was quick to mention her body language. “    1    ,” she said, “Otherwise, they might not open up to me as much as I would want them to.”

You don’t have to fix the problem

That’s another thing Jaime Roberts has learned on the job, “People who ask ‘What should I do?’ often want to process a problem themselves.     2    ,” she said. “Part of the trick is remembering that listening is the best thing you have to do, in most cases.”

You don’t need to give advice right now

Texts and FaceTime might be immediate, but your advice doesn’t have to be.     3    . “Forcing yourself to give advice when you can’t will do more harm than good,” she said.

    4    

You’re bound to hear about problems you haven’t experienced firsthand. That’s why Jaime Roberts says you should let them know that you’re just human beings with limited experience.     5    .

A．Don’t say their choices are wrong

B．You cannot give advice as giving someone an order

C．I try to appear relaxed and avoid looks of shock or judgment

D．You don’t need to have the same problem to be a good consultant

E．But you should let them know you will do your best to understand them

F．You’re a good consultant if you can help them fix the problem on their own

G．You can politely explain to them that you will talk to them when you’re ready

6 . Living Well with Others

A good life is one that is beneficial to living well with others, while living comfortably and honestly. However, not everyone can deal with the relationship well with others. They’re looking to explore new ways to make their life better.     1    

Smile at those around you. It’s often been said that a smile is catching.     2     Studies suggest that friendly engagement (交往) with others improves happiness levels, at least in part. People are more likely to treat a smiling person better than a non-smiling person.

Help others. Studies have shown that helping others has a direct relation to individual happiness.     3     Volunteering to help others has been connected to better quality of life.

    4     The golden rule is still the most important rule for getting along with others. Think of how you would like your friends to act around you. If you treat people with love and respect, they will treat you with the same.

Value your friendships with others. The quality of a person’s friendship has a direct effect upon their well-being. Friends can increase a sense of your sense of belonging and purpose.     5    

A．Research suggests that’s true.

B．Treat others how you wish to be treated.

C．Treat others with honesty, respect and kindness.

D．When meeting someone for the first time, smile to them.

E．They will also help prevent you from developing bad habits.

F．This article will cover some ideas you may want to consider.

G．Taking time to care for others has been important to understand “the good life”.

7 . Have you ever had to wait in line at a store and found yourself avoiding eye contact, whether with employees or other customers? You may wish it was easier to meet new people or feel at ease at a party.     1     This article will show how to reach out to others and start potential friendships.

● Stop worrying about the outcome

    2     But not every conversation will lead to a new friend. It is completely normal to feel nervous about the idea of striking up a conversation with someone you don’t know. For many people, it can be difficult to overcome the fear of saying something wrong. Remember that authentic conversations can lead to increased self-confidence and lasting friendships.

●     3    

Remember that being true to yourself is more important than what strangers think. Who you are is no less important than who anyone else is. Every person has their own story and journey, and yours is just as important as anyone else’s.     4    

● Don’t share too much too quickly

It can sometimes be easy to share a little too much information about yourself, especially if you are excited or anxious when engaging with strangers.     5     Remember that you are simply striking up small talk with someone, not trying to turn them into your instant best friend.

A．Share your important stories

B．Don’t worry what strangers think of you

C．This helps advance your friendship.

D．So be proud of yourself and be honest about yourself.

E．Learning to talk to random people can be challenging but fun and rewarding.

F．A conversation is usually the most common way to start a relationship with another person.

G．But oversharing information may lead to an uncomfortable situation for you and the people involved.

8 . It is so easy to just go home and shut your door without getting to know your neighbors. But being an active neighbor will turn your living place into a kinder and more caring neighborhood.

    1    . You don’t have to show up with a fresh apple pie or anything like that. It’s truly as simple as saying hello, introducing yourself and asking a few open-ended questions. But they are the first step to becoming a kind neighbor.

Then get out of your comfort zone and make efforts to know more about your neighbors.     2    . And if you feel comfortable, let them know that you’re there to help, if they ever need another hand.

Another way to show your neighbors that you care is by making your small acts of kindness a regular practice. This can be cleaning up the litter or even cleaning up after the pets have made a mess on your block.     3    , you can ask your partner or kids to pick a bunch of flowers from the garden to give your new neighbor.     4    .

Remind yourself that being connected feels good and boosts your mood in the long run. If you take the first step, your small acts of kindness can encourage others to pay that kindness forward.     5    . Challenging as they are, reaching out to your neighbors is worth the efforts.

A．Or if you have an amazing garden

B．Remember, every small gesture counts

C．If you want to be respected and cared by your neighbors

D．For example, ask for their names and learn what they do for work

E．Your attitudes towards your friends also set an example for your kids

F．It doesn’t take a lot of money or a generous gesture to be an active neighbor

G．In the end, more and more people in the neighborhood will feel much better

9 . As a young child, I was painfully shy. I’d watch other children play in the park, wishing I could join them, but I was too scared to approach. Eventually, my mother would come to the rescue. She’d ask the other kids if I could play, too. Today, I feel comfortable giving public lectures in large halls and having conversations in small groups, but I still tend to avoid situations in which I’m expected to spend time with a roomful of strangers.

There could be many reasons. For one thing, I might be carrying some childhood fear of rejection. But beyond that possibility, one likely element is that I tend to underestimate how much people like me after I meet them, as most of us do.

A new research paper reports that the common concern that new people may not like us, or that they may not enjoy our company, is largely unfounded.

Erica Boothby of Cornell University and her colleagues conducted a series of studies to find out what our conversation partners really think of us. In doing so, they discovered a new cognitive illusion (认知错觉) they call “the liking gap”: our failure to realize how much strangers appreciate our company after a bit of conversation.

The researchers observed the gap in a variety of situations: strangers getting acquainted in the research laboratory, first-year college students getting to know their dormitory mates over the course of many months, and community members meeting fellow participants in personal development workshops. In each circumstance, people consistently underestimated how much others liked them. For much of the academic year, as dormitory mates got to know each other and even started to develop enduring friendships, the liking gap persisted.

The data also revealed some of the potential reasons for the illusion: we are often more severe with ourselves than with others, and our inner critic prevents us from appreciating how positively other people evaluate us. Not knowing what our conversation partners really think of us, we use our own thoughts as a proxy (代理人). This is a mistake, because our thoughts tend to be more negative than reality.

1. Why does the author mention his childhood experience?

A．To show how his character changed.

B．To explain what he was like when he was young.

C．To show an example of why people are shy of communication.

D．To emphasize the important role of a mother in one’s childhood.

2. What does the underlined word “unfounded” probably mean?

A．Careless.

B．Baseless.

C．Selfless.

D．Meaningless.

3. What do we know about the liking gap from the text?

A．It indicates what strangers really think of us.

B．It begins and ends quickly among strangers.

C．It disappears when strangers get to know each other.

D．It states our misunderstanding of how much others like us.

4. Which of the following is the best title for this text?

A．People Like You More than You Know

B．How to Get Along Well with Strangers

C．The Way to Know What Others Think of Us

D．Having Conversations with Strangers Benefits Us

10 . How to become a role model

A role model is someone who a person admires, respects and wishes to imitate. Here is how to be a role model.

    1     If you see something you don't agree with, don't be afraid to stand up and say something. Others will take note of what you've done and remember it. By standing up for your beliefs, you're encouraging others to do the same.

Help other people in a variety of ways. For example, sign up for a program such as Big Brothers or help some new kids around your school. Many people would like to have someone to look up to, but simply don't.     2    

Act like yourself, not someone you're not. Many people think a role model is someone famous and outstanding.     3     By being helpful, kind and most importantly, yourself, people will start to admire and look up to you.

    4     Role models aren't admired because of their greatness, but rather the determination it takes to get there. Even if you're not the best, people will take notice of your hard work and devotion.

Think of who your role models are and the reason for that.     5     For example, if your role model is a singer who has songs aiming at human rights, volunteering at a charity may achieve the same outcome. Others will take note of this behavior and begin to look up to you.

A．Work hard in everything that you do.

B．Stand up for the things in which you believe.

C．As a role model, you have to take your social responsibilities.

D．You can change this by becoming a helpful person in their life.

E．However, you don't have to be extraordinary to become a role model.

F．Analyze the reason you look up to someone and then imitate that behavior.

G．For example, if you're watching a younger kid being badly treated, help him out.