1 . From birth, every person needs other human beings. Babies need to be cared for to survive. Their first _________ usually come from parents and brothers or sisters. As children grow up, _________, they spend more time with others. And they may or may not feel connected to the people they see every day. Some people feel different from or rejected by their neighbors, people they work with or even their families. People who don’t feel like they belong often feel _________, even when others are around.

People find different ways to meet their natural desire to _________ a group. Some rely on their families _________ others find communities based on other interests. These can include religious beliefs, shared goals, life experiences or popular culture.

You need others for many _________. Community members can offer advice or practical help when you go through difficult times. You can also grow as a person from helping others. And belonging helps give a sense of meaning as you become part of something bigger than yourself.

So what can you do if you _________ a sense of belonging? The first step will usually be to make a mindful effort to _________ others. You could join groups based on interests you share. Or you could contact an individual with whom you have something in common and decide when to meet up. This may be uncomfortable _________, but as with most things, it becomes easier with practice. Focusing on others more than on yourself may help. Ask questions that show you __________ others’ lives. This will help them feel valued. If you are shy, it will spare you from having to talk about yourself too much.

Finding community requires a(n) __________ to accept others. But it is also important to remain __________ to yourself. If you hide your thoughts and feelings to fit in, you won’t feel like you belong.

Finding a place where you belong may not be easy, but it will help you live a happier life.

2 . We all remember our first days of high-school, college, our first job. We all remember the feelings of butterflies in our stomachs when we took our ________ steps into those positions, the feeling that we were unqualified for what we were doing, that we didn’t ________.

What if my coworkers don’t like me? What if I mess everything up? These are the ________ that run through your mind during those first few days as you tiptoe your way around the workplace, being ________ that you don’t do anything that will get you noticed, with the ________ that when they notice you, you will mess up. But eventually you do get noticed, and you don’t mess up, and soon you develop a ________.

It has only been a week and you have already fallen into a rhythm. You walk into your workplace and ________ to the receptionist who now knows you by name, you get you morning coffee and ________ a conversation with a coworker who you’ve quickly developed a friendship with. Whereas before you looked around ________ for the sugar and cream, now the location is familiar and you ________ it immediately. You walk to your desk, take a sip of coffee, and look over your daily ________ that has become all too familiar to you.

You notice a new task that you haven’t encountered before, but you no longer feel ________ and fear of messing it up. You have ________ a week in this place without messing up, people have ________ you on how good of a job you’ve done, and you belong here. A ________ creeps over your face as you look forward to undertaking this new unproven challenge. The day begins and you fall into your rhythm.

3 . If somebody informs you that you have a leaf in your hair, smile politely and say, “Oh. Thanks.” When you turn to find it is the cute guy who asks smart questions, try to look as _______ as possible. Brush the _______ out of your hair as though its presence was accidental, as though you’re not upset.

Remind yourself that you will likely find another among the thousands on the _______. If he continues to walk _______ you and talk to you, then you have a difficult situation. You must decide if the attention is pity or interest. You must decide which kind of attention you’d rather have. You must decide whether you want any _______ at all.

Maybe he will not go _______ as quickly as you expected. Perhaps you will find yourself nearing a bench with him in the park at the corner. Do not tap on the bench before sitting down. Do not think about how good it would feel to be racing through the park right now, with the mud under your sneakers. Pretend to be how you imagine a(n) _______ girl would be; nod and smile in the _______ places.

Do not be too serious. Maybe he will talk about movies or books. Maybe about his school or his work. _______ with him and ask him questions.

If he seems exceptionally ________ and accepting, you may be attracted to say more about the disorders that rule your life. So ________ he asks about you, you must answer very carefully. “I play the piano,” you might say. Your favorite composer? Rachmaninoff, of course. “I like to ________” is starting to get a bit risky, but you could try it if you’re brave. “Too bad,” he may say. “You won’t be running for a while.” “I know” is a good, simple ________. Change the subject.

But even if you do, you will have to ________ home eventually. The light will begin to fade or the ________ will threaten another rain. Let him make the first move toward parting.

4 . For busy people, the idea of speed dating has really caught on in popularity. In a speed dating event, usually 8-10 _________ go around from table to table, each spending 6-8 minutes at each one. From that, you may not know for sure if you want to _________ something more with an individual, but, you will _________ know if you don’t want to.

The first thing that you will realize about speed dating is that it makes you _________. Unlike a bar, where you might get a whole evening to _________ check a potential partner out and to see what they’ve got, when it comes to _________, you know that you only have a certain amount of time to put your best foot forward(全力以赴)there. You’ll find the other participants are _________ of this and will put their best foot forward.

An 8-minute speed dating will also give you a chance to see how someone _________ under pressure. You may already know a little more about their _________ if you find someone who can’t seem to make eye-contact. The best advice is to make eye contact, be open and direct. You’ll find that the __________ time can make for some excellent opportunities to really shine, and there’s nothing like a deadline to make you more __________! An important detail to keep in mind is that you will be __________ to a dozen or more singles in a short time. Those who feel that there is an advantage in larger numbers will surely find this __________.

When you are looking for __________, you may not want to do the long search, so think about speed dating and see what you can do to make sure that it works for you. __________, give this exciting opportunity a try!

5 . I am a psychologist. Kate, a former client who I had helped, got a promotion recently. She came into my_________. I expected our conversation would be about her success._________, Kate mentioned she had a simple but serious problem—-she wasn’t getting along well with another manager called Mary. The two didn’t _________each other from the beginning, and as time passed things weren’t getting any better. Kate told me that it was becoming painfully clear that her inability to get on with Mary was going to block her success, and _________ ruin her career at the company.

As Kate and I _________ the situation, she told me Mary was seen as a highly talented and well-liked manager. But Kate believed that they had different _________, and Mary made her _________. I suggested Kate revisit their shared work. It was then that Kate realized Mary’s teamwork was important for getting the business _________ they all wanted. In measuring the relationship more honestly, Kate realized she’d been failing to _________ with Mary in positive ways. She hadn’t made Mary feel her efforts were valuable, and had more or less been trying to __________ her.

So Kate decided to __________ herself. She thought about the cause of the situation and how she responded to it. She reminded herself, “I won’t get along with everyone but there is possible__________ in every interaction with others. I can and should learn from almost everyone I meet.” Later Kate and Mary’s relationship greatly __________. Now they communicate frequently in person and join in each other’s team meetings. Take an honest look at what’s __________ the tension. Maybe your __________ to the situation is at the center of the problem.

6 . Part of me has always wanted to be the kind of person who breaks the ice with a stranger. When I witness that kind gregariousness (合群) in others, I feel_________; I assume their lack of reserve means they lead more exciting lives. How many tales of adventure began because someone had the_________to say hello? Talking to someone I don’t know_________low-level fear, and I avoid it entirely.

I’m not alone. In a 2022 study, Gillian Sandstrom, a psychologist, noted that people are “remarkably_________” about talking to strangers, despite research linking frequent social interactions with happiness. We tend to_________the potential for negative consequences in such encounters, and actively avoid them. As a countermeasure, she gave participants “missions” that involved initiating conversations with strangers who met certain_________(e.g., “Find someone who’s wearing a hat”). The results were_________Sandstrom s assumption: these interactions were far more pleasant than people expected them to be.

Eager to test her theory, I gave myself a week to reproduce Sandstrom’s assignment, which meant speaking to around 30 people. I had no_________not 10 try: I live in New York City and encounter hundreds of strangers.

One of my missions was to speak to someone who was eating. “Is that cream cheese?” I asked a guy on a park bench who was eating stuff. It_________a little more disrespectful than I intended, but once he realized that I wasn’t crazy, we had a(n)__________conversation. When I spoke to an attractive woman on crutches (拐杖) for my task of engaging someone who “looks sad,” I was worried she’d think of me as a pickup artist.__________, she humored me when I told her about my knee issues.

Here’s a tip: asking strangers about the bonuses of talking to strangers can be an effective strategy. I used this__________with people required to interact with the public as part of their job. Among the waiters I spoke with, a common response was that chatting with customers was one of the most enjoyable aspects of their day, providing a little burst of__________. A cafe worker told me that he was an expert at guessing a customer’s order based on their appearance—yoga clothes? black coffee—but felt a distinct joy whenever he got it wrong.

My__________didn’t transform me into a fearless extrovert (外向者). But it was a useful reminder that when it comes to keeping life interesting, it__________to make room for the occasional surprise.

7 . I moved into my house at the end of last year. I _______ that there was a tree in the front yard. My partner told me they _______ it was a fig (无花果) tree and _______, as the months went by, the tree grew huge leaves and _______ came to fruition. Figs the size of my fist! My partner and I were _______ but we didn’t know what to do with all the figs.

About a week ago, my next door neighbor came and properly introduced himself. He then asked if he could _______ some figs from my tree. Immediately, I _______ him to take as many as he liked. He told me that 12 years ago, the _______ owner of the house I live in now used to be very good friends with him and they planted this very fig tree way back then. I came home one day, to find a fruit box outside my front door. This _______ filled my heart with happiness and gratitude. It ________ me that there are still lively people in the world who want to do something nice for their neighbors.

8 . Sunshine Community has been taken care of by the volunteers for a long time. Back in the old days, the community _________ thousands of old people. For the past twenty years, the _________ of selflessness has been passing in the community, whose members fix _________ for the elderly every day.

An old resident, Lisa, enjoyed the generosity twice. “When I _________ both my legs, the community volunteers fed me and my husband so much food that with great gratitude I had to say stop. But my husband _________, “I hope I’ll break my legs, too, because I love the food,” Lisa says, breaking out laughing. As they grew older, the volunteers were more _________than she imagined. “When my husband _________, the comfort cards and calls were _________,” she says. They kept helping her know she was _________ alone.

As Lisa grew older, she needed more care. However, it didn’t prevent the volunteers from __________ and helping. They even offered better service and __________ to cooking in their own homes. They all enjoyed it, and then they delivered the food to Lisa’s.

Now they are serving almost ten times as much food to the elderly. And many ingredients in those meals are __________. In spring, the volunteers supply all kinds of usual vegetable seed- lings (幼苗) to the residents to plant in the gardens. The __________then gladly bring their __________ back to share with other residents. The whole community is full of __________ when enjoying the food.

9 . A soldier returned to his castle at dawn. He was in a mess. His face was bloody; his horse was lame. His _________ met him at the gate, asking, “What has happened to you?”

_________ himself up as best he could, he replied, “Oh, Sir, I have been _________ in your service, robbing and burning and killing your enemies to the west.”

“You have been what?” cried the _________ king, “But I haven’t any enemies to the west!”

“Oh!” said the soldier. And then, after a(n) _________, he continued to say, “Well, I think you do now.”

What about you? Do you have enemies to the west? Or in some other directions? None of us will calmly sail through our lives in perfect _________ with everyone we meet. And though most struggles can be settled along the way, and most of our damaged _________ can eventually be healed, some issues may threaten to drive a _________wedge (楔) between people. Sincere morals and political ideas, especially, can divide folks who just hold different positions.

One person said, “I don’t have a personal enemy _________. They’ve all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me.”

So-called “enemies” can __________ a valuable purpose. If we let them, they can teach us about ourselves. By__________ a mirror before us, they can help us __________ what we may have missed. By disagreeing with our ideas, they can __________ our points of view. And, if we allow them, they can __________ help us practice strength and sympathy in the face of criticism.

If enemies cannot become friends, they can become __________. If we listen, they will teach us what our friends cannot.

10 . This morning I found that I had deeply offended (冒犯) someone when I ran into my neighbor’s house and asked about their daughter’s health. I didn’t know whether I said anything _______. In fact, it was hard for me to _______ out whether what I said was offensive. Anyhow, I _______ to them, but the wife kept silent and the husband had none of it. I said I was sorry a second time and had a bad feeling that they would _______ talk to me again.

It made me feel _______ that I angered and hurt someone. But I couldn’t think of much else to do to make things better. I truly didn’t know if the friendship could be _______. I came home really _______. Why did they react so rudely?

Some days later, I settled down to write a letter of apology and _______ it with worry. I wrote the words in the letter, “I wished you live in love, mercy and faith. I wished your _______, who I cared about, to be healthy forever. I also hope for your ________. And I hope we will be friends again ________ we can’t talk to one another as much as we used to. Though now our ties are ________ maybe because of something I said, we remain connected in the world.”

Today, I received a(n) ________ from the couple with the following words on it: Thank you so much for ________ and sharing the pain of our daughter suffering from cancer. Your sincere ________ make us feel lucky to have neighbors like you. It was then that I breathed a sigh of relief and finally smiled.