1 . Having to deal with a rejection can be extremely difficult. But something that many people find even more difficult is to be the one who has to reject. Sometimes we accept out of politeness, in other cases because we simply don’t know in what possible way to say no.
Saying “no” in a proper way is quite difficult.
But due to the fact that we are no robots, it is not easy for us to make a decision based on whether we just like something or not.
Anytime you say “yes” when you know that you should have said “no”, no matter whether you rationalize (使合理化) it as a sign of friendship or kindness, in the end, it doesn’t change the fact that you have agreed to do something you absolutely do not want to do. That’s just because you don’t want to give others a reason to think negatively of you or believe that they will quit the friendship when you’re not doing everything they demand.
| A．If you don’t like it you just say “no” and reject it. |
| B．You can finally live the life the way you want it to. |
| C．As a result, we always end up with amounts of extra work. |
| D．It might help to see the situation just as emotionless as a robot. |
| E．Would you clearly express that you will not be able to do the extra work? |
| F．There will always be other factors that highly influence our decision-making process. |
| G．But actually a real friend will try to get his life straight without taking advantage of you. |
2 . I'm a Russian. In my native country, people believe that those who always keep big smiles on their faces, if they don't have a real reason to do so, are not genuine（真诚的）. For the last five years, I've lived in Kansas. What brought me to this country was my American husband, John. I work in a department store, where my coworkers show big smiles to me and pronounce my Russian name so sweetly. Every time I hear it, I feel as though my mom is embracing（拥抱）me.
Last year John encouraged me to go to see my mom back in Russia, and my manager even gave me a month of for the trip. When you live an ocean apart from your family, you need at least a month to visit them. I bought a plane ticket and packed my suitcase. Then came Covid-19. My mood became grey as I realized I couldn't go to see my mom.
A couple of weeks later, my sweet coworker Miss Donna asked me, “So what's happening with your trip to Russia?” I told her I had to cancel it and I wouldn't be able to see my mom this year.
Miss Dona didn't say anything at first. Then she put on a big smile and said, “Well, you can come to my home and see my mom!" “Oh my Lord!" I was at a loss for words. Imagine a mom for loan（借出）!I honestly don't know whether I would offer the same to someone in need of a mother's warmth, but my new people surely would do it for me.
I know that because of the virus, you shouldn't hug friends, but you can still embrace someone's heart. That's how my heart felt at that moment: hugged. So, yes, believe me, big smiles with no reason can be genuine.
1. What can we know from the first paragraph?| A．The author believes big smiles are false. | B．The author works together with her husband. |
| C．The author seldom wears big smiles in Russia. | D．The author gets along well with her coworkers. |
| A．Because her mother's home was too far away. | B．Because the manager didn't allow her to leave. |
| C．Because Covid-19 broke out unexpectedly. | D．Because she was invited to Miss Donna's home. |
| A．She was happy. | B．She was touched. | C．She was confused. | D．She was uncertain. |
| A．A Canceled Trip | B．Imagine a Mother for Loan |
| C．The Outbreak of Covid-19 | D．Big Smiles Embrace My Heart |
3 . Almost everyone gossips. And a new study finds that people spend about 52 minutes per day, on average, talking to someone about others who are not present
But here’s the surprise: Despite the assumption that most gossip is trash talk, the study finds the majority of gossip is nonjudgmental chat.
“People love to talk about others,” says Jeremy Cone, a psychologist at Williams College. “Think about your own conversations with a family member or friend: You talk about everyday things that keep you connected. You share your daughter got her driver’s license or your uncle has a kidney stone. Much of it is just documenting facts.”
Of course, the study also finds that some gossip is negative or mean-spirited. About 15% of the gossip included some type of negative judgement.
But even negative gossip can serve a purpose, as more research has found.
“I think gossiping can be a smart thing to do,” says Elena Martinescu who has studied gossip in the workplace. “It allows people to keep track of what’s going on and form social connection with other people.”
Research has shown that gossip can help build group cohesion (凝聚力) and cooperation. “When you gossip, you can keep track of who is contributing to the group and who's being selfish,” Martinescu explains. “And by sharing this information, you can exclude those group members who are social loafers (游手好闲的人).”
“We also found negative gossip makes people likely to repair the aspects of their behavior that they were criticized for,” Martinescu says.
So, say, for instance, you were criticized for always arriving at work late. Hearing that gossip about yourself may motivate you to want to be on time.
Of course, this isn’t a license to be loose lips or to repeat baseless claims that can damage someone’s reputation unfairly. But confiding (吐露个人隐私) in your friends and colleagues and sharing impressions about another person — even when they’re negative — may be helpful.
1. Why do people often gossip according to Jeremy Cone?| A．Because gossip can satisfy their curiosity. | B．Because they can share social information. |
| C．Because they want to correct others’ mistakes. | D．Because spreading negative facts is unavoidable. |
| A．People can be improved in an all-round way. | B．People can get rid of immoral behavior rapidly. |
| C．People can be kept informed of others' privacy. | D．People can change their behavior for the better.. |
| A．It is plain to see that people gossip all the time. |
| B．Based on the study, the majority of gossip is trash talk. |
| C．It’s advisable that we turn a deaf ear to negative gossip. |
| D．It’s likely that gossip helps us know more about one's quality. |
| A．Gossip is the last thing people could do. | B．Gossip should be advocated by the society. |
| C．Gossip may not be as harmful as it sounds. | D．Gossip is the best way to build social bonds. |
4 . People sometimes think of moving among people and talking to them at a dinner party like it’s a mechanical process. I know some advice on it can give the impression that you need to approach it that way.
In my experience, at parties it’s best to go with the flow, talk to the people who look interesting to you, and see where the night takes you.
For whatever reason, two metaphors (暗喻) come to mind when I think about talking to people at parties.
The second metaphor is that I picture people at a party as a bunch of ping pong balls floating in a basin of water, and moving around on the surface. For a time a few balls may come together, but then they’ll break up and maybe temporarily group with a few others.
| A．If you want to try, go for it |
| B．In practice it’s not really a matter of that |
| C．The first is to see a party like a fairground |
| D．Again, go to a party intending to just move along like this |
| E．I will spend the party making the rounds and speaking to people |
| F．Basically, the movement of people from group to group is not planned |
| G．You’ll decide if you have a better time when you keep chatting to the funny friends |
5 . You may not realize it, but you are doing much more than just studying when you are at school. School is also the place where you learn to get on well with people. But this is not always easy. What can you do if you just don't like one of your classmates?
If you discover that you have problems getting on with your classmates or friends, the most important thing to learn is tolerance. Tolerance is the ability to realize and respect the differences in others. We cannot change the way that other people do, so it is important to learn to live happily with them.
Tolerance will make everyone get on better with each other. Getting to know someone may help you understand why he does things differently. Something different does not exactly mean that it is bad. Tolerance teaches us to keep a temperate and open mind.
You need to remember an old saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” If you tolerate something, it does not mean that you have to like it. No one is asking you to change who you are or what you believe in. Tolerance just means that you should respect the differences in others and not try to make them change.
It is important to practice tolerance, because it will make everyone's life easier. Learn to accept people for their different abilities and interests. The world is very different, and practicing tolerance in your own school and city can help make a difference.
1. This passage is trying to tell us ________.| A．what's important for a student |
| B．what students should do at school |
| C．how to treat people different from us |
| D．how to get others to do things in the right way |
| A．it's easier for someone to hate others |
| B．getting along with others is not difficult |
| C．most students are getting on well with each other |
| D．students are learning other things besides studying |
| A．Accept people as they are. |
| B．Believe you are always right. |
| C．Expect everybody to be the same. |
| D．Change yourself to please other people. |
| A．tolerance can only be learnt at school |
| B．living with people of the same interests is easier |
| C．practicing tolerance at school can help make a better world |
| D．people in different countries have different interests and abilities |
6 . LIFE is AWKWARD．What should you do when your parents are embarrassing(使尴尬)you in front of your friends？Or what if you see what looks like a classmate stealing someone else's headphones？ In our social Q's column(专栏)，the teenager Harper Ediger and the adult Philip Galances give their best advice to kids looking for help navigating real﹣life situations，Now it's your turn：Do you have a question about an uncomfortable social situation at school，at home, on social media or among friends？Email it to us at Kidsqs@njpost.com and Harper and Philip may answer it in a future issue. Please include your age and hometown. Come on, we know you have one．
To give you some idea about how to ask questions , here are reader﹣submitted questions we've published in previous issues：
My mom signs me up for camps and activities without asking what I want to do. I only learn what I'm doing at the last minute. I don't like being told what to do, and I feel that I should be able to help plan my time. How can I have more of a say？
At my school, fourth graders need to learn different dances, then dress up for a fancy party where we ask partners to dance with us. This makes me nervous, and I'm not looking forward to it.How should I handle this situation？
My sister is home for college break, and lucky me, she's my roommate.As I'm 12 and she's almost 19, we both want our own space. I know she doesn't mean it personally,but she always complains that she doesn't have a home, which makes me feel as if I'm intruding in my own room．Do I tell her how l feel or let it go？
1. What should be included in your email to the social Q's column？| A．Name, age and social media | B．Age, school and hometown． |
| C．Age, hometown and questions． | D．Name, school and questions． |
| A．the ability to plan time | B．the chance to set up camps |
| C．the right to make decisions | D．the plan to enjoy activities |
| A．show kids ways of solving problems |
| B．give kids examples of what to write about |
| C．share Harper and Philip's advice with kids |
| D．offer kids a chance to complain about their lives |
| A．help kids deal with their troubles |
| B．train kids to write |
| C．have kids introduce themselves |
| D．advise kids to behave well |
7 . Many people confuse hard-working people with workaholics(工作狂). How could a person tell that he/she is a workaholic? A workaholic works long hours, at the expense of personal relationships and health. When not working, they’re thinking about work. Work influences their mood: when work is going well, they’re up; when work is going less well, they’re down.
Working, or simply being busy, can be a hard habit to break. When workaholics aren’t busy working—or doing something to promote their work—they feel anxious and guilty. They hang onto jobs for dear life and do everything they can to make sure they’re essential.
There is a link between health problems and workaholism. Just because work itself is a respectable pursuit(追求) doesn’t mean that an addiction to it is any less damaging than other sorts of addictions. A number of studies show that workaholism has been associated with a wide range of health problems, such as anxiety and heart disease.
Besides health problems, being a workaholic brings other negative effects as well. A study published in the American Journal of Family Therapy found that working too much negatively influenced an employee’s marriage. This isn’t surprising, since if you’re married to your work, it can be difficult to be married to anything, or anyone, else. There have also been studies looking at the influence of workaholic parents on their children and the news isn’t good. Adult children of workaholic fathers experienced more depression and anxiety and a weaker sense of self.
However, there are also many positive aspects to working hard and to an increasing devotion to career. Hard work can bring great rewards. For many, it’s how they develop feelings of self-worth and confidence and purpose. If you have a workaholic in your life, you might point out the things he or she is missing out on while at work, whether it’s a child’s soccer game, a good book, or a yoga class. Seek to understand why the person feels the need to work so much and support them in finding a solution.
1. What can we infer about workaholics?| A．They put work in the first place. |
| B．They usually have life outside work. |
| C．They often get pleasure from work. |
| D．They win respect from their workmates. |
| A．Bad influences of workaholism. |
| B．Reasons for being workaholics. |
| C．How people deal with their addictions. |
| D．How hard-working people differ from workaholics. |
| A．Force them to join family activities. |
| B．Reward them for their hard work. |
| C．Help them find self-worth and confidence. |
| D．Try to understand and support them. |
| A．Doubtful. | B．Objective. | C．Negative. | D．Curious. |
8 . A day in the life of 18-year-old David Lanster is full of teenage activities: school, baseball practice, homework. And then he starts cooking. "Some nights I'm up until I am making pies, or even later if we're cooking beef," said the student at Ransom Everglades High School in Florida, US.
For the past year, Lanster and Kelly Moran, his classmate, have been hosting fancy dinner parties at Lanster's parents' home. Their meals have 17 courses and are all made by them. Their guests used to give them gifts to thank them, until the pair decided to do something nice for charity. "We got some really great Miami Heat tickets, a nice watch, and many kitchen machines," Lanster said. "But we wanted to make this something positive for people rather than us."
Lanster and Moran focused on Common Threads, a charity that helps to teach kids in poor neighbourhood to cook and make healthy eating choices. The young cooks ask their guests to give however much they want as payment for their meals. It all goes to Common Threads because Lanster's parents cover their food costs. After their last 12-person event, Lanster and Moran gave $1,600 to the charity. Now, they're taking their show out of the kitchen and on the road. Lanster and Moran have started to organise private dinner parties in a similar way: the host pays for the ingredients (食材), and the guests make a donation (捐赠) to a charity.
Outside the kitchen, the two are busy preparing their college applications. Neither is sure what they will do in the future, but they've promised their parents that they'll leave cooking alone until they finish high school.
1. Why does Lanster and Moran cook now?| A．To get gifts from guests. |
| B．To make healthier eating choices. |
| C．To become cooks. |
| D．To raise money for charity. |
| A．They will give up cooking forever. |
| B．They are sure about their future jobs. |
| C．They will stop cooking for college applications. |
| D．Their parents support cooking as a job. |
| A．Selfish and reliable. | B．Confident and careful. |
| C．Creative and helpful. | D．Outgoing and patient. |
| A．Helping by Cooking | B．Eat as You Wish |
| C．A Great Cook | D．Cooking for School Fees |
9 . Some people are so rude. Who sends an e-mail or a text message that just says “Thank you”? Who leaves a voice mail message rather than texts you?
Maybe I’m the rude one for not appreciating life’s little courtesies (礼节). But many social norms (规范) just don’t make sense to people drowning in digital communication.
Take the thank-you note. Daniel Post Senning, a coauthor of Emily Post’s Etiquette, asked, “At what point does showing appreciation outweigh the cost?”
This isn’t the first time technology has changed our manners.
In the age of the smart phone, there is no reason to ask once-acceptable questions about: the weather forecast, a business’s phone number, or directions to a house, a restaurant, or an office, which can be easily found on a digital map. But people still ask these things.
How to handle these differing standards? Easy: Consider your audience. Some people, especially older ones, appreciate a thank-you message.
| A．Then there is voice mail. |
| B．Others, like me, want no reply. |
| C．Who asks for a fact easily found on the Internet? |
| D．Won’t new technology bring about changes in our daily life? |
| E．And when you answer, they respond with a thank-you e-mail. |
| F．Face-to-face communication makes comprehension much easier. |
| G．When the telephone was invented, people didn’t know how to greet a caller. |
10 . Claire Wyatt, a 24-year-old British volunteer, led eight Cambodians living with disabilities on a 155-mile bike ride from Phnom Penh, the nation’s capital, to Siem Reap to raise money and deliver supplies to those in need in the coronavirus pandemic(新冠病毒大流行).
“Leading this trip was an incredibly special experience for me,” said Claire. “Not only was I encouraged by the determination of each and every rider, but also the team taught me every day not to focus on their disability.”
When she was first asked to lead the trip, Claire admitted, she was feeling nervous about her team traveling such a distance in just a few days because cycling with a disability can come with added physical and emotional challenges.
One team member named Dy, who lost an arm in an accident, biked using just one arm to balance. Another named Vulta could only pedal on one side due to polio(小儿麻痹). Despite all the difficulties, Claire realized quickly that she didn’t have to worry about her team. She saw them deal with rough area that she had seen abled cyclists give up on before.
The volunteers covered the distance in just four days, not only helping so many people across the country, but also overcoming huge difficulties to get there.
“The best thing about this ride is that the riders have all volunteered their time to do this. They are so enthusiastic about Cambodia and raising money for others in need,” said Claire. “The money raised will feed 99 families in Siem Reap.”
Claire recalled her favorite moment of the experience, when one of the cyclists pushed an exhausted teammate up a hill for 2 miles. “One moment that stood out for me was when Naret, our only female rider, was feeling tired,” she said. “Her fellow rider gently put his hand on her back and pushed her for 2 miles! They were encouraging each other to push through the tiredness.”
1. Why did Claire and eight Cambodians cycle 155 miles?| A．To challenge themselves. | B．To help out needy people. |
| C．To take part in a competition. | D．To raise money for the disabled. |
| A．She might be injured on the road. | B．She would be unable to lead the team. |
| C．Her team might be looked down on. | D．Her team couldn’t finish the route. |
| A．Confident, calm and friendly. | B．Honest, patient and open-minded. |
| C．Strong-minded, brave and caring. | D．Curious, creative and experienced. |
| A．It could have taken less time. |
| B．It was amazing and inspiring. |
| C．It changed her idea about human nature. |
| D．It was more difficult than she had expected. |
