A Wise Way to Make Families Rules

All groups, of whatever size or nature, need standard operating procedures. Without them, groups may very well fall into confusion, chaos and conflict. The functions that rules can serve are indispensable. When it comes to parenting, making rules can make a big difference in our family as well. Actually, the issue is not whether our families need rules. We do need them. The real issue is how to motivate all family members to comply with (遵守) them.

At some time in our lives we all have felt unmotivated to comply with some rule or policy that we had no voice in making. Denied the opportunity to participate in establishing a rule, most people feel imposed upon and resentful of the new rule. But when people actively participate in setting a rule or making a decision that will affect them, they are more highly motivated to comply with it. We call this the Principle of Participation, and it has proven its effectiveness in families as well.

When children are given the opportunity to participate in setting rules or making decisions that will affect them, several good things happen. Children feel better about themselves — having more self-esteem (自尊心) and self-confidence. Such a good effect is due to their feeling that they have gained more “fate control” over their own lives. They also feel they are equal members of the family with an equal voice in making decisions and establishing rules — they’re part of a team, not second-class citizens. This means that families that function collaboratively and democratically will have closer and warmer relationships than those in which the adults act as bosses or authorities expecting the children to obey the rules made for them.

Another important reason for encouraging the full participation of family members in decision making is that it often produces higher-quality solutions to problems. Two heads (or three, or four) are better than one. Shared decisions will be based not only on the knowledge and experience of the adults but also on those of the children. The admonition (告诫) that father knows best should be challenged now.

England Prohibits Phones in Schools, But Will It Help?

Recently, England’s Department of Education has confirmed plans to ban the use of mobile phones in English schools during the school day, including break times. The guidance offers schools a variety of ways to implement (实施) the ban, ranging from an order to leave all phones at home, to handing them in on arrival or keeping them in inaccessible lockers.

England’s response to the growing frustration with students’ cellphone use during school time is not unfounded. The United Nations this past summer published a report issuing a strong warning regarding technology use in schools around the globe. Some countries had already implemented strict “no-cellphone” policies. For example, France prohibited students in elementary and middle schools from using cellphones while on campus. Meanwhile, it is reported that most teens use their phones for an average of 43 minutes during school hours, with some students reaching six hours on the high end. These addictive devices often lead to distraction and social anxiety. Worse still, almost one-third of secondary school teachers said that their lessons were interrupted by students’ mobile phones.

However, some people don’t believe that banning mobile phones in England’s schools will fundamentally address the harm that mobile phones do to children. “We work with children daily. We understand that a phone is a device to pay for a bus, contact your mum, and find information,” Kidron, a secondary school teacher, said. “So the device is not the issue; it is the persistent irresponsible content provided by online tech platforms that is to blame. Companies that engage with children, therefore, should offer content that is suitable for their age and development capacity.” Ghey, a concerned mother, also raised her voice on this matter, but with a different perspective. She argued for the phone manufacturers to make specific products for under-18s that prevent them from accessing harmful content.

Complaining: The Happiness Killer

In 15th-century Germany, there was an expression: Greiner, Zanner, which can be translated as “a chronic (长期的) complainer.” Are you a bit of a Greiner, Zanner? If so, you’re not alone. Survey data show that customers today are more than twice as likely to complain about a product or service as they were in 1976. A U. K.-based survey also observed a rise in job dissatisfaction over a two-year period before autumn 2022.

Complaints can be grouped into different categories. As is reported, 45 percent of complaints concern the behavior of others. For instance, parents repeatedly criticize their children for small issues like messy bedrooms or dirty clothes. Another 29 percent focus on personal discomfort. A common complaint in this category might be about feeling too hot in a room without air conditioner. The remaining 26 percent involve unpleasant obligations like unnecessary work meetings people are forced to attend.

The problem with all of these complaints is that it can feel helpful — but it typically isn’t . Although complaining might offer temporary relief, it’s bad for your happiness in the long run. Researchers who measured people’s mood before and after they complained found that those complainers’ mood was significantly worsening. Besides, complaining can also lower the happiness of the people around you. In some relationships, the negative effect can pass like a virus to those exposed. In other words, when people see others’ complaints expressing anger, disgust and sadness, they can, in turn, feel similar emotions.

As the 20th-century Bulgarian philosopher Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev observed, “Complaining is like the winter frost which, when it falls, destroys all the labors of the gardeners.”

Digital Nomads (游牧人)

How would you like to answer your work emails from a beachfront café in Thailand or a coffee shop in Portugal? If that appeals to you, being a digital nomad might be for you. Digital nomads can literally work from anywhere as their jobs are online. Digital nomads rely on portable devices with wireless Internet capabilities such as laptops, tablets and smartphones. Typically, they work from coffee shops, restaurants, co-working spaces, apartments or internet cafés — places with an Internet connection.

Worldwide, statistics show the number of digital nomads hit 35 million in 2021. So what is it that makes the lifestyle of digital nomads so fascinating? First and foremost, digital nomads get to live in different countries and cultures while they work, providing them with opportunities to have adventures and experience new things. These folks have also found the most flexible means of online incomes, allowing them to head out at a moment’ notice and go where they please. “I’m free,” says Nimisha Walji, “I can go where the wind takes me and live any place I choose! If I feel like a change, I can pursue that in a matter of days, sometimes hours.”

You may think that being a digital nomad is all sunshine and rainbows. It is not necessarily so. Job finding is one of the hardest tasks for the digital nomad, given that they have no permanent home, no office address, and no one knows them. To apply for a job, they need to find the employer and persuade him to hire them. Most of the employers hire from their own city, and that’s why it’s so hard for a nomad to find a job. Access to stable Wi-Fi and adequate workspace can be difficult. If someone struggles to stay focused at home, there can’t be a worse place than a fascinating holiday location. Few people can manage to be productive faced with the temptations and distractions. It seems that living the life of a digital nomad isn’t for everyone.