I have quite a bit of experience with Toastmasters, an organization aiming to help people overcome speech anxiety. I joined many years ago with the hope of improving my public speaking. After one of my speeches, the comments I received were harsh. Constructive or not, the critique was hard to take. I felt my feelings were hurt.
I learned many things from my time with Toastmasters, and one was the value of good feedback. Welcoming the critique of others is hard for adults, even when it’s well-intentioned. So naturally, we can expect that children will also struggle with it. But the feedback our children receive from teachers and parents is important to their growth and development. So as parents, we must learn how to deliver our feedback effectively, and we’ll need to train our children on how to accept it with openness and wisdom.
The way parents deliver their feedback is as important as the specific words used. It’s possible to have good intentions, but when feedback is poorly given, it can be harmful and not helpful.
It’s important to create a welcoming, safe environment in the home for intaking and processing feedback. Especially between a child and parent, the feedback needs to be healthy, constructive and regular.
The words used are also important. In a New York Times article written by Dr. Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School, he shares that it is “22 to 29 percent more effective” to encourage children with nouns than verbs, but when it comes to giving negative feedback, it’s generally better to use verbs.
A parent’s feedback provides the scaffolding (脚手架) for how a child will manage their inner monologue. Consider, as an example, a discussion you may have with your child about their goals. Your feedback can encourage them not just to focus on where they are now but to reflect on how far they’ve come. This kind of feedback can spur them on to reach the finish line.
32. Why does the author mention his experience with Toastmasters?
A.To tell us what is good feedback. | B.To tell us to join Toastmasters. |
C.To show the main function of feedback. | D.To show the necessity of proper feedback. |
33. Which of the following feedback is effective according to Dr. Adam Grant?
① You’re a big helper.
② You’re a poor math learner.
③ You’ve been helpful this afternoon.
④ You didn’t do well on this math test.
34. What does the underlined word “spur” in the last paragraph mean?
A.Limit. | B.Monitor. | C.Persuade. | D.Inspire. |
35. Which can be the best title for the passage?
A.The way to respond to feedback | B.The value of accepting feedback |
C.How to give effective feedback | D.How to become a better speaker |