We often hear such statements: “I spilled (洒出) juice, but it wasn't my fault.” “I got in trouble at school, but it wasn't my fault.” or “I was in a car accident, but it wasn't my fault.” That “It's not my fault.” is a go-to response for so many people and especially teenagers.
Parents complain they are tired of the “excuse”. The reason why variations of “It's not my fault.” are so popular is that it lets us off the hook from guilt and blame. I'm a fan of not owning responsibility for things that I can't control. Teens who often say “It's my fault.” when something bad happens tend to be highly self-critical, perfectionistic and more easier to be troubled by anxiety and depression.
While it is important to recognize lack of reason to blame oneself, many teens over rely on “It's not my fault.” When trying to get them to take responsibility, parents usually attempt to convince their teens that something is their fault. The approach tends to be ineffective and turn into a power struggle. No one wins. A more effective approach can be to stress significant drawbacks to consistently focusing on removing our responsibility with this phrase.
Overuse of the phrase can result in feelings of lack of ability to control their own lives. This sense has been shown to cause low motivation. Besides creating feelings of lack of ability, overuse of “It's not my fault.” focuses a teen's attention on what is done as opposed to what needs to be done.
People may not have caused all their problems but they have to solve them anyway. The example I frequently share with teens is the question of what one will do if he is pushed into a deep lake. One can certainly stay in water, yelling, “It's not my fault.” However, that won't get him out of water. He needs to swim to the shore, regardless of the fault.
If you take a proper approach to communicating with your teens, you can help them avoid over reliance on “It's not my fault.”
1. What phenomenon is described in Paragraph 1?A.The teenagers' dislike for school life. |
B.The common trouble faced by teenagers. |
C.The reasons for blaming others for accidents. |
D.The tendency for people not to be responsible for mess in life. |
A.Those lacking confidence and ambition. |
B.Those allowing others to find excuses. |
C.Those unable to get along well with others. |
D.Those often blaming themselves for some incidents. |
A.Negative. | B.Supportive |
C.Ambiguous. | D.Neutral. |
A.Avoiding troubling others |
B.Daring to point out others’ mistake |
C.Focusing on how to solve problems |
D.Should be self-critical as much as possible. |
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【推荐1】A patient of mine, a bright young man, had quit college. Living with his parents, he was considering suicide (自杀) besides playing video games from day to night. Twenty years ago, I would have prescribed an antidepressant (抗抑郁药), while today, I recommended something different to him: a dopamine fast (多巴胺戒断). I suggested he give up all screens, including video games, for one month.
When people do something they enjoy, the brain releases a little bit of dopamine and they feel good. But one of the most important discoveries in the field of neuroscience in the past 75 years is that pleasure and pain are processed in the same parts of the brain and that the brain tries hard to keep them in balance. Whenever it tips in one direction it will try hard to restore the balance, according to neuroscientists, by tipping in the other.
Instantly dopamine is released, the brain adapts to it by reducing the number of dopamine receptors (受体), causing the brain to level out by tipping to the side of pain, which is why pleasure is usually followed by feeling low-spirited. Our brains evolved this balance over millions of years when pleasures were limited and dangers ever-present. The problem today is that we no longer live in that world but a world of overwhelming abundance. Yet increased access to addictive substances or activities has made us more miserable than ever before. Rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide are increasing all over the world, especially in rich nations.
It’s only after we’ve taken a break from the addiction that we’re able to see the true impact of our consumption on our lives. That’s why I asked my patient to give up video games for a month, enough time to allow his brain to reset its dopamine balance. If we can keep reducing phone use long enough, the benefits of a healthier dopamine balance deserve it.
1. What is the discovery in paragraph 2 about?A.The function of dopamine. |
B.The disadvantages of playing videogames. |
C.The psychological problems in rich countries. |
D.The brain’s ability to balance pleasure and pain. |
A.Rich nations have more suicide cases than poor ones. |
B.Dopamine is released when people are down. |
C.More depression occurs in the modern world. |
D.People have less access to pleasures today than in the past. |
A.To rid him of the bad habit of consumption. | B.To help him regain the dopamine balance. |
C.To prevent killing himself again. | D.To guide him to the true meaning of life. |
A.He thinks medicine is useless. | B.He acts as a social worker. |
C.He suffers from phone addiction. | D.He specializes in treating mental illnesses. |
【推荐2】Before she leaves home in San Francisco, California, Jennifer Schaefer, puts on long sleeves and a big hat she calls her “personal umbrella.” With her fair skin, red hair, memories of bad childhood sunburn, and a family history of skin cancer, Schaefer is painfully aware of the danger of exposure to ultraviolet (紫外线) radiation, which accounts for the vast majority of skin cancers.
So she finds it unbelievable how few people bother with sun safety, with most preferring sun worship to sun protection. “In our culture, it's almost funny to be too protected,” she says, highlighting the way her friends tease her when she puts on her bathing suit—a protective “rash guard top” and knee-length board shorts. “We're slowly starting to become aware of the long-term effects of the sun, but it's like global warming—people are not going to make serious changes until they feel a direct impact.”
That impact has helped push Australians, who are famous for sun loving, into changing their behavior. With its high solar ultraviolet levels and mostly fair-skinned population, Australia has the highest rate of skin cancer in the world. But after decades of increase, the melanoma(黑色瘤) rate began to stay at a steady level in the mid 1990s. The incidence of melanoma among young people is now falling, as national surveys show that most Australians-more than 70% of adults and 55% of adolescents—no longer prefer a tan (棕褐色).
A 2013 study shows that, in addition to Australia, a handful of countries—notably New Zealand, Canada, Israel, Norway, the Czech Republic(or women) and the United States (for white men) —have melanoma rates that are decreasing or stabilizing among young people.
Back in San Francisco, Jennifer Schaefer is doing her best to educate the next generation. Her eldest daughter automatically puts on a hat to go outside. “Habits really start in children—it is like brushing your teeth,” she says.
1. By describing Schacfer's bathing suit, the author suggests that Schaefer ________.A.does not mind the teasing by her friend |
B.attaches great importance to sun protection |
C.goes to extreme measures to avoid the sun |
D.is more interested in surfing than sunbathing |
A.Sun protection programs are developing quickly. |
B.Their citizens prefer to be pale rather than get tanned. |
C.Skin cancer rates are not increasing among the young. |
D.Women and white men have the lowest rates of melanoma. |
A.To help individuals know how to make medical decisions. |
B.To call for more research into ultraviolet radiation effect. |
C.To draw the public's attention to ultraviolet radiation effect. |
D.To honor a mother for her research into ultraviolet radiation |
But really, there’s one super-important reason why you should get along with your teacher. Kids who get along with their teachers not only learn more, but they’re more comfortable asking questions and getting extra help. This makes it easier to understand new material and do your best on tests. When you have this kind of relationship with a teacher, he or she can be someone to turn to with problems, such as problems with learning or school issues, such as bullying.
As a kid in elementary or middle school, you’re at a wonderful stage in your life. You’re able to take in lots of new and exciting information. Apart from that, you’re able to think about all this information in new ways. Your teacher knows that, and in most cases, he or she is thrilled to be the person who’s giving you all that material and helping you put it together. Remember, teachers are people, too, and they feel great if you’re open to what they’re teaching you. That’s why they wanted to be teachers in the first place to teach!
Some kids may be able to learn in any situation, whether they like the teacher or not. But most kids are sensitive to the way they get along with the teacher, and if things aren’t going well, they won’t learn as well and won’t enjoy being in class.
1. Paragraph 2 mainly talks about_______.
A.new materials learned from teachers |
B.ways to develop relationship with teachers |
C.benefits in getting along with teachers |
D.avoiding problems happening around kids |
A.Doubtful. | B.Objective. |
C.Uncaring. | D.Favorable. |
A.Kids are unable to understand lots of exciting information. |
B.Kids are bullied while communicating with others in schools. |
C.Kids will leave the class when not doing quite well with their teachers. |
D.Kids will leave the class when not satisfied with teachers’ teaching methods. |
A.children’s literature | B.an education magazine |
C.a science report | D.an advertisement |
A couple of weeks later, the bartender decided to clear this out and inquired: “I do not want to pry, but could you explain, why do you order three beers all the time?” The man replied: “It seems strange, isn’t it? You see, my two brothers live abroad at the moment, one – in France and another – in Italy. We have made an agreement, that every time we go to pub each of us will order extra two beers and it will help keeping up the family bond ”.
Soon all the town have heard about the man’s answer and liked it a lot. The man became a local celebrity. Residents of the town were telling this story to newcomers or tourists and even invited them to that pub to look at Three Beer Man.
However, one day the man came to pub and ordered only two beers, not three as usual. The bartender served him with bad feeling. All that evening the man ordered and drank only two beers. The very next day all the town was talking about this news, some people pray for the soul of one of the brothers, others quietly grieve.
When the man came to pub the next time and ordered two beers again, the bartender asked him: “I would like to offer condolences to you, due to the death of your dear brother”. The man considered this for a moment and then replied: “Oh, you are probably surprised that I order only two beers now? Well, my two brothers are alive and well. It‘s just because of my decision. I promised myself to give up drinking.”
1. The man ordered three beers all the time because _______.
A.people were fond of drinking beers in this pub. |
B.he missed his two brothers living abroad very much. |
C.this would help him become a local celebrity. |
D.it was an agreement with his brothers to keep up the family bond. |
A.news traveled fast in the town. |
B.the man became famous in the town because he was a heavy drinker |
C.the man’s brothers liked drinking beer very much |
D.the man was strong-minded to give up drinking |
A.he thought the man should order three beers |
B.he thought one of the man’s brothers had passed away |
C.he would earn less money |
D.the man decided to drink two beers |
A.gratitude | B.sympathy | C.appreciation | D.surprise |
【推荐2】The quality of the family relationship is more important than family configuration (结构). A healthy family relationship is the base of a happy family.
A family with a healthy relationship requires every single family member’s commitment. Family members hold family as a top priority (优先考虑的事) and consider the impact on relatives before making important decisions. Family members are dependable and always there for each other in times of crisis.
A characteristic of healthy family relationship is that they spend time doing enjoyable activities together.
A.Therefore, members do not feel they are on their own |
B.Family members share everything they have with each other |
C.Respect is an important characteristic of healthy family relationships |
D.It provides members with the support and encouragement that they need |
E.Family members tend to select activities that help the family to grow closer |
F.It is important to keep in mind that each family member is a unique individual |
G.Families with healthy relationships engage in positive and meaningful communication |
【推荐3】The relationship between parents and a child is among the most important in a person's life. Of all the people in the world, but parents are the only ones who are always there for us, no matter what happens.
But why is it that some teenagers act like their parents are the biggest enemies?
Any parents' wish is for their children to be safe and do well.
A.After all, our parents are our greatest teachers in life. |
B.However, it is our parents who brought us into the world. |
C.But any advice they give us is meant to protect and guide us. |
D.With this in mind, we should put ourselves in our parents' shoes. |
E.This is because teenagers are just trying to find their own identity. |
F.They reject their parents in an attempt to create their own unique world. |
G.Indeed, we tend to think that we know better than our parents as we grow older. |