The lost art of listening
Do you think you’re a good listener? Chances are that you do. But studies show that most people seriously overestimate their ability to listen. The truth is we are generally not good at listening, and our listening comprehension declines as we age.
This was proven by Dr. Ralph Nichols, who conducted a simple experiment to test students’ listening skills. He had some Minnesota teachers stop what they were doing mid-class, and then asked students to describe what their teachers had been talking about. While older kids with more developed brains, are usually assumed to be better listeners, the results, however, showed otherwise: While 90 percent of first-and second-graders gave correct responses, this percentage dropped rapidly as the students got older.
One reason for our poor listening concerns the speed at which we think. The adult brain can process up to around 400 words per minute, more than three times faster than the speed an average person speaks. This means we can easily think about something else while someone is talking to us, allowing our mind to wander or get sidetracked. The younger students in Dr. Nichols’s experiment were better listeners partly because their brains were less developed — they lacked the extra brain power to be distracted.
Another factor that contributes to our poor listening is our ever-decreasing attention span. According to a Mircrosoft study, the age of smartphones has had a negative impact here. In 2000 — around the time the mobile revolution began — the average human attention span was 12 seconds; by 2013, it had fallen to 8 seconds. Even a goldfish — with an average attention span of 9 seconds — can hold a thought for longer!
More and more people now realize that listening is a skill that can be developed through practice. Learning to observe a speaker’s body language and emotions, for example, can improve our active listening. Even the simple act of note-taking or making eye contact can help us stay focused while listening.
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Is Fridge Really Necessary?
The fridge is considered necessary. It has been so since the 1960s when packaged food list appeared with the label: “Store in the refrigerator.”
In my fridgeless Fifties childhood, I was fed well and healthily. The milkman came daily, the grocer, the butcher, the baker, and the ice-cream man delivered two or three times a week. The Sunday meat would last until Wednesday and surplus (剩余) bread and milk became all kinds of cakes. Nothing was wasted, and we were never troubled by rotten food. Thirty years on, food deliveries have ceased, fresh vegetables are almost unobtainable in the country.
The invention of the fridge contributed comparatively little to the art of food preservation. A vast way of well-tried techniques already existed -natural cooling, drying, smoking, salting, sugaring, bottling….
What refrigeration did promote was marketing-marketing hardware and electricity, marketing soft drinks, marketing dead bodies of animals around the globe in search of a good price.
Consequently, most of the world's fridges are to be found, not in the tropics where they might prove useful, but in the wealthy countries with mild temperatures where they are climatically almost unnecessary. Every winter, millions of fridges hum(嗡嗡响) away continuously, and at vast expense, busily maintaining an artificially-coo1ed space inside an artificially-heated house -while outside, nature provides the desired temperature free of charge.
The fridge's effect upon the environment has been evident, while its contribution to human happiness has been insignificant. If you don't believe me, try it yourself, invest in a food cabinet and turn off your fridge next winter. You may miss the hamburgers, but at least you'll get rid of that terrible hum.
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The Sounds of Relaxation
In a fast-paced world, where stress and mental fatigue seem commonplace, we're constantly looking for new ways to unwind. Some people take a hot bath, watch a film, go for a run, or listen to slower tempo music to help them relax. But what about the chirrups (小鸟唧唧叫) and whistles of birdsong or other nature sounds? Could they also help people to let go of the tensions of modern life?
According to a study by King's College London in 2022, seeing or hearing birds could help to boost the mental wellbeing of people. Taking a trip to a place rich in birdlife like parks, forests and canals and encountering birds chirping and warbling to each other in the trees could even help to treat some mental health conditions. And it's not just birds that could have a therapeutic effect on our moods. Another study commissioned by the National Trust compared the effects of woodland sounds with voiced meditation apps. The study found listening to birdsong as well as other woodland sounds like leaves crunching underfoot or the gentle trickle of a stream boosted feelings of relaxation 30% more than an app. Other sounds which may help to chill people out are waves lapping on the shore, gentle breezes, and light rainfall.
However, not all of us live in rural surroundings, and depending on where we live, a trip to the countryside to see birds may not be an option. But could the nature sounds that originate there still help you? According to research by California Polytechnic State University, even a recording of the sounds of birds had a profound effect on people's mood, while other studies saw people listening to soundscapes (声景) of the coast and forests with similar outcomes to their wellbeing.
So, wherever you live, you can access the wonderful sounds of birds and nature, be it during a stroll through a wood or via some headphones. And maybe listening to the chirps, trills, warbles and whistles of some birds could help you to relax after a long, hard day.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________A Father’s Influence Makes for Better Grades
Adolescents from low-income families in particular are more likely than their middle-class peers to underachieve and to drop out of school. Studies have shown that a positive attitude towards school work and the support and encouragement from their parents can help at-risk youngsters to overcome the economic barriers and lack of resources they face. Most of the evidence about the effects of parental involvement comes from research on mothers. Little is known, however, about how adolescents experience their fathers’ warmth and the beliefs and behaviors that are most affected by it.
This new study is part of a larger one focusing on low-income families conducted in four middle schools in the southwestern United States. Data were analyzed from questionnaires completed by 183 sixth-graders about how optimistic and motivated they were about their schoolwork, and how they experienced their fathers. The questionnaires were completed primarily by respondents of Mexican American, African American and European American descent. Their maths and language arts grades were also obtained.
Their findings show how fathers can support their teenagers in ways that result in greater optimism, self-efficacy, and, ultimately, higher achievement at school.
These positive effects extend to both sons and daughters, while in different ways. Experiencing their father’s warmth first influences daughters’ sense of optimism, and then spills over into their feeling more determined and certain about their academic abilities. This in turn leads to better math grades. There is a more direct link between their fathers’ involvement and teenage boys’ belief in their ability to succeed on the academic front. This heightened self-confidence increased their success in English language arts classes.
Suizzo suggests that counselors and educators should encourage fathers to communicate warmth and acceptance to their children, because of the positive influence these emotions have on their well-being.
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