【推荐1】What is a family? Why does it matter? What does it teach us that we can’t learn on our own? These questions seem especially relevant in the holiday season when it is often our tradition to gather as families and celebrate together.

My mother was one of twelve children. As they grew up, married and had children of their own, most of them lived near enough to gather for holidays at my grandparents’ home in a small town in the mountains of North Carolina.

I don’t recall getting many gifts from them. I remember the sense of belonging, of being part of something that assured me I was loved and not alone.

I delighted in the laughing, playing and fighting with my crazy cousins.

I watched my granddad and uncles sit on the porch (门廊), rain or shine, smoking and joking, arguing about politics and trying to solve the problems of the world.

I listened to my grandmother, mother and aunts stir pots on the stove and talk about their lives, hopes, dreams and disappointments, and gossip about any sister who failed to show up.

The food was always plentiful and delicious – country ham, sweet potatoes, green beans, biscuits and my grandmother’s banana pudding. But for me, the food was never the highlight. The highlight was simply being together. A family.

However, they’re all gone now. My parents and grandparents, my aunts and uncles have left this world for the next. My cousins are scattered (分散) here and there. And yet the memories linger, along with the love that we shared.

I treasure those memories and the things they taught me. They told me that families aren’t perfect, but they prepare us to find our way in an imperfect world. They made me realize that all families are crazy in their own peculiar (独特的) ways.

My husband and I are growing a new family, while keeping close to the surviving members of the families. It’s a beautiful blend (混合) of kindness, traditions, nurturing (养育) and friendships, which grows year after year.

I hope this holiday season will fill you with lovely memories of the family that raised you, and surround you with all the people who mean “family” to you now.

【推荐3】As any plane passenger will confirm, a crying baby is almost impossible to ignore, no matter how hard you try. Now scientists believe they may have worked out why. A baby’s cry pulls at the heartstrings (扣人心弦) in a way while other cries don’t, researchers found.

Researchers found that a baby’s cry can trigger unique emotional responses in the brain, making it impossible for us to ignore them---whether we are parents or not. Other types of cries, including calls of animals in great pain, fail to get the same response---suggesting the brain is programmed to respond specifically to a baby’s cry.

A team of Oxford University scientists scanned the brains of 28 men and women as they listened to a variety of calls and cries. After 100 milliseconds, two parts of the brain that respond to emotion lit up. Their response to a baby’s cry was particularly strong. The response was seen in both men and women-even if they had no children,

Researcher Dr, Christine Parsons said, “You might read that men should just notice a baby and step over it and not see it, but it’s not true. There is a special processing in men and women, which makes sense from an evolutionary view that both men and women would be responding to these cries,” The study involved people who were not parents, yet they are all responding quickly to these particular cries, so this might be a fundamental response present in all of us regardless of parental status.

Researcher Katie Young said it may take a bit longer for someone to recognize their own child’s cries because they need to do more “fine-grained analysis”. The team had previously found that our reactions speed up when we hear a baby crying. Adults performed better on computer games when they were played the sound of a baby crying than after they heard recordings of adults crying or high-pitched (高音的) birdsong. The findings could help shed light on post-natal (产后的) depression---where mothers struggle to bond with their newborn---by showing how a healthy brain responds to a baby’s cries.

【推荐1】Yesterday, a salesman from a telecom company called me to sell his phone plans. I was at work and I usually didn't like to spend time on those conversations. I gave him a pretext, saying I couldn't talk yet and advised him to call me back one hour later, at 6 pm.

Surprisingly, he did. So we talked for 15 minutes. He explained to me his different phone plans, which he said were better than my present one. While listening to him, sometimes I was lost in my thoughts. I gave several "mhmmhm” as a sign of agreement and to tell him that I was still there. Although I felt a bit impatient as he had a bit of difficulty in correctly talking in French, I stayed calm and polite until the end of the conversation.

At the end of the conversation, he said to me, “Thank you Olivier. You are the first person with whom I talked for a long time. Usually, people shout at us, say unkind words or treat us as thieves. Today, I hadn't had a conversation without an offense. I know you had a long day at work and you could have relaxed in front of your TV. Instead, you listened to me. I am touched and I sincerely thank you.”

I thanked him for telling me those words. I realized how much he could have been the subject of verbal violence, all through his working days. I also know that those people getting impatient could have been me. Yet，he was only doing his job. Although he may interrupt our life using the phone，he is still a human like me and is worthy of good treatment. It made me think a lot.

【推荐2】When was the last time someone unexpectedly did something nice for you ? Not someone you knew, but a total stranger? It’s happened to me a few times, but two instances really stand out.

A few years ago, I was dining in a restaurant with a friend who kept talking about himself , completely not aware of the fact that I was sitting there in misery. It wasn’t my friend’s talks that made me suffer. I was recovering from a broken heart, and just sitting down to dinner reminded me of my last relationship. I could have burst into tears right there at the table.

When we picked up the check, the waitress said , “ Your meal was already paid for .” My friend and I didn’t have a clue how it happened. Then I remembered a man I saw out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in mostly white, sat down at the bar, had a beer, and stayed for maybe ten minutes . The waitress said ,”Yes , the gentleman in white paid for you .” It felt like an angel was saying “I see you ,honey. It’s going to be okay.”

Just last year, I was running a half-marathon. With just 1 mile to go, I was out of gas. Runners call it “hitting the wall”. I thought I couldn’t move another inch. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me and said, “What’s your name, sweetie? Jennifer? Okay, Jennifer, let’s go! Come on ! It’s just around the corner! You can do it!” And he ran with me until I picked up my pace. I found him at the finish line to thank him for the encouragement only to learn he wasn’t even supposed to be in the race that day.

I still shake my head when I think of these momentary angels that came to me at my point of need. Do you have any experiences like these?

【推荐2】Think of the last time you disagreed with another person. Maybe you argued with a sibling (兄弟；姊妹) over what to watch on TV. Or perhaps you tried to convince grown-ups that ice cream makes a better dinner than vegetables. How did your disagreement end? Were you able to see the issue from the other person’s viewpoint?

In many situations, disagreements are unavoidable. They’re part of life. After all, everyone has different opinions. We all have past experiences that shape how we see the world. Still, not all disagreements are bad. In fact, many people look at them as opportunities to learn. They do so by trying to understand where both sides are coming from.

How can you understand both sides of an issue? Often, it’s best to start by asking questions. Questions help us learn about the world around us. The right questions can also help us learn about other people. In a disagreement, asking for more information can help you learn about a person’s viewpoint. It can also lead you to gather more facts. This can paint a better picture of the entire issue.

When seeking to understand both sides of an issue, it’s important to know the difference between facts and opinions. Remember, facts are based on true information. Opinions can change from person to person. Paying attention to facts can stop biases (偏见) from taking over in a disagreement. This can help everyone involved see both sides of the issue.

Maybe you’re wondering why it’s important to understand both sides of an issue, anyway. After all, don’t most people just want to prove that their side is right? Often, that’s true. However, understanding the whole issue can lead to both sides working together.

Disagreements may be uncomfortable at first. However, when both sides truly try to understand each other, they often find they have more in common than they thought. The next time you disagree with other people, try asking them questions about their viewpoints. You never know what you might learn.

【推荐3】Identical Twins Kathy and Sophie arrived at college last year and determined to strike out on independent paths, so they had requested rooms in different dorms. While Kathy got along with her roommate, Sophie was miserable. She and her roommate silently warred over matters ranging from when the lights should be turned off to how the furniture should be arranged. Finally, they divided the room in two and gave up on oral communication. During this time, Sophie kept seeking comfort from Kathy. Before long, the two wanted to live together again. Sophie’s roommate eventually agreed to move out.

Sophie’s ability to solve her dilemma by rooming with her identical twin is unusual, but the conflict she faced is not. Most roommate conflicts spring from such small, annoying differences rather than from grand disagreements over abstract principles. One person likes quiet, while the other person spends two hours a day practicing the trumpet. One eats only organically(有机地) produced vegetables and loves animals, while the other likes wearing fur and enjoys cutting up frogs in biology class.

When personalities don’t mix, the excitement of being away at college can quickly fade away. Moreover, roommates can affect each other’s psychological health. A recent study reports that depression in college roommates is often passed from one person to another.

Many schools have started conflict resolution programs to calm tensions that otherwise can build up like a volcano preparing to explode, finally resulting in physical violence. Some colleges have resorted to “roommate contracts” that all new students fill out and sign after attending a lecture on roommate relations. Students detail behavioral guidelines for their room, including acceptable hours for study and sleep, a policy for use of each other’s possessions. Some schools try to head off the feud before it begins by using computerized matching. Students are put together on the basis of their responses to housing form questions.